Are family members entitled to your kids

Honestly I set boundaries. My husband family loves bad talking each other and fighting. I told them it happens one time around my kids they are cut no excuses and no forgiveness. So far it’s worked but only been 3 years

Nobody has a right to your children/child unless you as parents give permission regardless if they are family or friends. If someone is abusive would you want your child around that and witness the behaviour? They can see the child once behaviour changes and they can respect people they have disrespected and apologised to.

You're better off without the toxic people around

Your responsibility is to the safety and wellbeing of your children, period - you have zero responsibility to the comfort and pleasure of adult family members by means of accessing your child. You don’t owe them anything, you owe your children protection and care though. So if that means keeping them away, so be it.

You have a responsibility to your child to keep them safe. Being around that behaviour, even when not directed towards them it’s not great for them mentally. Doesn’t matter if family or not, I would be keeping them away

We have a similar situation.
I’m learning it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
My SIL isn’t a big part of our lives, we’re not going to let her be alone with our son ever. But we are civil and even friendly at family events. If something happens or she says something we’re not comfortable with we just remove ourselves and our little one.
But this decision was made because I love and respect my MIL and didn’t want to put her through the heartache of separate holidays/parties. We’re going to focus on teaching our son how to set boundaries unless she crosses a line that makes HIM unsafe emotionally or physically.
It’s hard, but the truth is there is no right answer from the internet. You have to make the best choice for you and your situation! Good luck 🤞🏻

From an Islamic perspective, family ties are very important and Islam encourages forgiveness and keeping relations. But Islam also doesn’t allow people to harm you or disrespect your spouse. Your husband and your child are an amanah from Allah and protecting the peace in your home is your responsibility. So you can forgive her for the sake of Allah and avoid holding grudges but that doesn’t mean you have to keep allowing the same behaviour around your family. Setting boundaries is completely allowed. Islam teaches balance, try to keep basic ties if possible but protecting your marriage, your mental wellbeing and your child comes first. Keep her at a distance, you are simply protecting your home. A peaceful home is worth guarding.

I'm going through something similar and the best thing I did was distance ourselves. Now there's no drama. The they're family is an excuse for people to get away with their bad behavior.

My brother stopped talking to me after he got with his gf they are still together now and because she doesn’t like me (not sure why) he doesn’t either and he’s never met my 18m old and I haven’t seen him in over 2 years if he wanted to contact he can through our mum but other then that if he doesn’t want to it’s not our loss as he’s already missed out on so much with my little one x

My family (both adopted and bio) are ALOT so they only see my son when I think it’s okay and not gonna turn into anything

just set a ton of boundaries!