Having a mental breakdown

My kids love chicken nuggets for lunch, im sure this is my fault because I dont like to spend my entire day cooking meals but thats beside the point. The great value dino nugget recall has me sick to my stomach terrified. I already have a fear of food and getting sick from food, then come to find out something weve all been eating was tested for potential super high lead levels freaks me out beyond belief. Not only for my kids but for myself too. I might be crazy but ive already called poison control, called their pediatrician, and scheduled a lead test blood draw for myself.
I feel like such a shit parent. I just want the best for my kids but I feel like im failing them in so many ways right now. I wish we could afford to get the best most healthiest organic food for them and I wish I had the time/energy to make them all their food scratch so I know what theyre taking in is good for them. With the prices of literally everything raising, how are we supposed to do this?
My entire body aches today from either a virus or a autoimmune flare up and then to find this out just has me feeling like shit in every way. I hate all of this.

in our community

Does anyone else’s partner do EVERYTHING halfway because they’re so lazy?

•If he changes baby’s nappy, EVERY time he gives her back he hasn’t put her socks back on.

•If poop/pee gets on her clothes, he brings her back to me only in a vest. (No excuse for it, the clean baby grows are literally in the drawer on the changing table)

•He took her for a walk today to give me some peace, when he handed her to me she was only in a vest and freezing cold. He said he put her in her snow suit In the pram but no clothes on. He said she was screaming the whole walk. And he just left her in it, he didn’t pick her up and comfort her💔I often carry her and push the pram in the other hand. She’s really poorly at the moment with a cold and just wants lots of comfort.

•He rocks her to sleep rubbish so she never goes to sleep for him then tells me “she hates me, I can’t do it, only you can do it” but he puts 0 effort in to it. Even the way he pats her bum, she likes it quite firm, he gently taps his fingers, there’s no way she can even feel it through her nappy. And she likes to be rocked/move around. He’ll often just stand still or sit down.

•If I ask him to feed her a bottle, he refuses to use a bib because he can’t be bothered to spend an extra 5 seconds putting it on.
So at night time her love to dream swaddle gets really wet from milk around the chest/neck. I’ve told him SO many times, If that happens you need to take it off because it will make her cold and could make her skin sore…he NEVER does. He leaves her in it.

•In the nights he never buttons up her vest or baby grow. If I get up to change her nappy, I unzip her swaddle, to find her clothes completely open, so that it’s just the nappy to get to. Just because he can’t be bothered to do up a couple of buttons. Which is an extra few seconds.

•He doesn’t practice safe sleep when he looks after her for me because he want to avoid everything that will wake her up. I often find him sleeping and not keeping an eye on her, with her absolutely covered in blankets unsafely all round her face. I always try to tell him her dangerous if he’s not watching her, and he says “oh she’ll be fine nothing will happen” Everyone always thinks it won’t happen to them. I hate that attitude.

•He’s been sterilising the bottles for me regularly…then the other day I was in the kitchen and saw how he did them😫
1) he didn’t take them apart (mam bottles) because he can’t be bothered to put them all back together afterwards.
2) he only rinsed them with water under the tap. No soapy water at all. No sponge/bottle brush. If I tell him to please use fairy liquid. He says “why, it’s only milk”😵‍💫
3) He then put them in the steriliser still covered in bubbles, didn’t rinse them off.
4) doesn’t measure the amount of water in the steam steriliser just chucks loads in there.
(He does the exact same thing with my pumps, he refuses to take them apart or use soap, even though I’ve told him multiple times.)

I have tried to tell him hundreds of times how to do all of these properly but he gets SO moody. If I even say ONE small thing in a nice way, he huffs and puffs and rolls his eyes and says “can I do it or what, I’m not an idiot”. So I’ll step away, and then I’ll see him do something wrong AGAIN and I’m just cringingggg because I know that If I say something for the second time it genuinely ends up in a bad argument.

All of my family and his family are CONSTANTLY saying he’s such an amazing hands on dad. Always saying “you’re SO lucky he helps you so much, he’s brilliant”….but to me he just creates more work. No one sees these little details. My partner thinks I’m being silly and nitpicking and “just want to moan/nag” when I’m genuinely just trying to communicate/educate him. I always try to say it as nicely as possible to avoid upsetting him but it doesn’t matter, it ends the same way every time.

Urgent

We’ve gone to the children’s ER and urgent care , no answers. For most of the week my year-old has been having high fevers and really fussy and nonstop crying had on off diarrhea and doesn’t want to eat at all, and barely drinks much. She keeps pointing to her mouth, but can’t communicate what’s wrong to her teeth. Look OK from this photo?

Venting

I'm so mad. But like am I just crazy?
My husband had a work trip to France for a week at the end of September. I get it it's not a vacation but still, it's not like he's breaking his back working. He is literally just having social time with his coworkers all day long. Then he came back for 3 days and then he had a boys trip to Japan for 12 days. I already had my girls trip in June but my friend could only afford 5 days in Dominican lol. Whatever. I'm not mad that he had this boys trip. I'm just salty cause I literally haven't seen my husband for basically a whole month. He came back on Sunday and we went to the Zoo with the baby the day after and then he was back to work. When I tell you that I have barely spent time with my husband since he came back I mean it. Maybe 2/3 hours for the whole day. He doesn't go to sleep with me, he stays up gaming. I wake up he's not here. He comes home from work hangs around for like maybe an hour while I'm actively taking care of the baby and cooking, and then he goes to nap. It's not a problem that he takes a nap, it's a problem because it's not a nap! It's a full on sleep from 4:30pm-8pm and then he wakes up when baby is already down for the night and he continues on to game. Literally the whole night!!!! Mind you he doesn't spend time with baby. Or me. Idek the last time he even had a baby and papa day where he would watch her while I do nothing. Oh wait I do remember, never! Just because I drop off our baby for a couple days at his mom's house sometimes so I can have a break doesn't mean he can neglect fatherly duties. Getting him to change a diaper is like pulling teeth. And when the baby is a grandmas house guess what it's not like he takes advantage of that opportunity and spends quality time with me. He games!!!!! I'm fuming. I'm literally thinking about just telling him I'm going out and just be gone all day today. I'm so over it. I'm so sick of feeling like single mom. He always tells me how lucky I am to stay home and take care of baby like it's a freaking walk in the park with sunshine and rainbows. Like I try so hard be involved parent and take her out every day and not be nose deep in the phone or tv. Like when he's with her, he either got his phone out or TV is on. She's 11 months. And we been trying for another baby but omg Im having second thoughts about the second baby. I'm literally about to go on birth control cause I'm not gonna be single mom x2.

Boy mommas

Sorry for sounding rude, but are else’s little ones suddenly obsessed with playing with their w*llies?

We attempted potty training previously and it ended in lots of tears and distress so we are slowly coming back to it — a more gradual approach.

Wondering if this is a sign he’s ready (somehow)? Ie am I missing something 🤔 we offer potty when he pulls it out or starts playing, but seems he doesn’t always need to go.

On the other hand, it may be just a boy thing 😬

My 8 month old hates food!

My son will be 8 months in a couple days and he absolutely hates food. Homemade… store bought, he is just not interested. I have to trick him into eating it, I pretend like I’m giving him water from a straw and then put the food in his mouth 😩. He’s starting to catch on now and will close his mouth TIGHT. It takes us three days to finish a jar of baby food!! And sometimes I just throw it away. Am I the only one dealing with this ? Any tips?

Weaning ?

Anyone tried to give their little one food yet ?