Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Feeling angry, frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, Tired, empty and hopeless

So firstly, I am just not having a good day at all. My baby has been very clingy today - than she normally is and getting into stuff way more which leads to my temper going off and then mom guilt . I am also feeling angry and frustrated because I am realizing a lot of painful truths about my life that I am just understanding since going no contact with my family. That I have genuinely only been emotionally understood and heard by very few and little people in my life who genuinely cared about my feelings. I come from emotional neglect, so I constantly feel, ignored , rejected, unworthy of love , I don’t know who I am and I lack emotional control in which I am very high functioning. But I have gotten better with emotional control but actually letting myself feel my emotions or be myself with people is VERY difficult. I usually struggle as well to understand the way I am feeling that’s why I feel that writing could help me a lot- which I do now to try to help myself. I also recently gotten into therapy expecting that my feelings would be taken into consideration finally or that someone would care about my feelings, but I ended up not really receiving that understanding or to that sit there in my emotions,but instead I got a redirection of what to do - it felt very transactional, surface level and just logical. Which isn’t that bad , but when I just learned that I struggled finding someone to just accept me at my worse or just really dive deep into how I feel and my feelings - I just didn’t really like how therapy was more logical instead of emotional support. I feel like since that’s all that was around me in my family, then that’s what I attracted. Constantly being told and feeling like I’m too much - I am not saying that my marriage is all bad, because it’s not, most of the time we are best friends but when it come to emotions there’s a lack . Overall I am very upset and overwhelmed and this haven’t been the best day for me.

in our community

Weird feelings

I am now 2 and a half months PP, and I was just looking at my scar. It feels so surreal to me. I had to have an emergency C-Section after 20 hours of labor and an induction that worked too fast. It's so strange to me that this scar is on my body, that it's where my baby came out of. Everything was completely the opposite of my original birth plan, but I could not be more thankful that they caught the reason for my c-section when they did. That still doesnt change the... almost impostor syndrome I feel when I look at my body and my scar. I've changed so much, it's so strange to me

Sleep though the night

Any tips on how to encourage my 5 month old to sleep though the night

Wtf- husband edition

The past 2.5 months or so, I’ve been the primary night time (and daytime) caretaker of our 5 month old. I feed him formula before bed, then breast feed him on demand throughout the night. Before, we’d have shifts through the night in different beds so each of us could get sleep. My husband started sleeping in the same bed as us around that time and he’s moves aggressively in his sleep and snores. As you can imagine, I don’t get much sleep. The only time I get uninterrupted sleep is for 4-5 hours in the morning when the baby sitter gets here. Meanwhile my husband sleeps 6-7 hours each night, no problem.
Tonight, I told him I really needed alone time and sleep for my mental health. He agreed and offered to take the baby and try to put him to sleep.
Knowing our child, I told him some of the different things to try to get him calm or keep him calm. The quickest way being to get in a warm shower with him. He agreed.
So why did I have to listen to my baby crying for about 45 minutes??? I tried to let my husband figure things out but eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of bed and went and asked if he put the baby in the shower and he said “no, that takes too much effort”.
WHAT??
I do bath time almost every day!! He has done bath time ONCE in the five months.
I asked for just a couple of hours to myself to sleep and he can’t do whatever it takes so baby isn’t crying so I can sleep??
I’m livid.
I ended up taking our son. He just fell asleep on the boob and, of course, my husband came and fell asleep too. Somehow I’m the only one awake after I asked for much needed sleep.
I know arguing won’t help but I’m so upset. I just needed to vent and maybe cry.

Rant

I love my partner to absolute bits but omg the snoring I could go insane, my baby was cluster feeding last night which meant I was up till 3 in morning with him I finally get to sleep baby wakes us both up at 6:30 so feed him by time had finished my partner was back asleep and snoring his bliddy head off woke the baby back up then finally settled him again only to me not being able to sleep kept waking partner up didn’t make difference ended up going downstairs which woken baby up again only for him to have another feed cause by this time it’d been 2 hours since the last so now currently almost 9am and I’m wide awake baby’s starting to get to sleep so looks like I’m surviving the day on 3 hours sleep yay and on a busy day 😕 little pic of the man in question and my lil bubba boy

Bedsheets

Do you change your bedsheets after sex ? Our lil girl tends to sneak in our bed through the night so
I personally do
but just curious what others do ?

Spit ups

My newborn seems to spit up almost immediately after every feed . She’s bottle fed formula. I’ll like burp her for a moment and after she burps she’ll like spit up the formula she had, not ALOT but a good amount. Then she’ll do it like 2-3 more times later on after that. Can’t tell if this is normal or not.