A teeny bit sad today
My partner and I have been dedicating ourselves sooo much to our baby girl that we are struggling to find ways to stay connected to ourselves. I am really good at getting tasks done in short bursts but he isn’t. So I’m finding that I’m doing a lot and he says he feels he is falling behind. He set a goal to return to a sport while all this is going on and for some reason, this sport seems tied to him feeling good about himself. He’s wonderful at being a dad and a partner, so I’m trying to find ways to show him that. But it kind of feels like I’m taking on a little too much now with a 2 month old and my partner who doesn’t seem to be in a good place to receive my love / appreciation.
Did anyone else see this change in their partners? Almost like a depression in the dad?
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Hey mama, first of all you need all the love and support you can get, you need to have the conversation with your partner because your child is his as much as yours too, once in a while leave him with the kid and go do something for yourself like just hangout with friends but most importantly you need to let him take up some responsibility too so he involved like bathing your baby, diapers change, feeding, it’s easy at the stage to just want to do everything by yourself but don’t start it else you will be burned out
I haven't read much into it, but dad's can go through a period of depression post baby too, similar to postpartum depression. Their hormones change as well (although not a drastically as ours!).
It's a massive shift in life for both parents and takes a while to get used to being parents let alone also then dealing with a newborn.
Keep talking about it, it's a big change for your relationship too. If you navigate it together you'll find ways to be able to manage the transition.
Oh wow baby is only two month's, just pace yourselves...we couldn't see the wood for the trees at that point. As baby gets older it gets easier and dad's find their feet a bit more
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Effect on marriage
How has having a baby changed your marriage and the way you treat your husband?
I’m genuinely curious to hear other moms’ experiences because I feel like we don’t talk enough about this side of motherhood.
My husband is honestly amazing. He’s a cardiology fellow, so his schedule is extremely busy, but he still makes an effort to spend time with me, help with the baby, and give me opportunities to rest. I really couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband.
However, since becoming pregnant and having my baby, I feel like I’m not myself anymore. I’m constantly irritable, I snap at my husband over little things, and sometimes I find myself getting annoyed just by his presence, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. I also feel emotionally disconnected at times, and I feel so guilty because he genuinely tries his best.
I’m currently a SAHM, and I struggle with motivation and productivity, too. Some days, I’ll cook dinner and clean the kitchen, but the rest of the house will be untouched. Even when the baby naps for longer than 30 minutes, I often end up doomscrolling or staring into space instead of resting or getting things done. Then I feel guilty about that, too.
I know having a baby changes your relationship, but sometimes I feel like I’m the one causing all the problems in our marriage because I can’t seem to regulate my emotions the way I used to.
I’d really love honest answers from moms:
* How has your relationship with your husband changed since having kids?
* Have you found yourself being more irritable, resentful, or emotionally distant from your husband, even when he’s supportive and hasn’t done anything wrong?
* Did you go through a period of feeling like you weren’t yourself anymore? If so, did it get better with time?
* How long did it take for things to feel more normal again?
I’m not looking for perfect marriage stories. I genuinely want to hear the honest, messy reality of what this transition has been like for other women, especially those who have supportive husbands but still struggle emotionally.
I think I need some perspective on what other moms have experienced because sometimes it feels like I’m the only one struggling with this.
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Would you take away movie night as a consequence for 6 year old?
So every Friday we have movie night but my 6 year old pushed another student at school today and received ISS for it. It was over something so little but my 6 year old (currently being evaluated/tested) struggles with managing her anger and frustration & sometimes acts impulsively.. I’m not excusing her behavior at all and regardless of any diagnosis she may or may not receive, I know that does not take away from the fact that she is not allowed to hurt people because she’s angry.
My question is— would you take away movie night as an at home consequence? I sometimes struggle with discipline because I don’t want to discipline her all day but I also don’t want to discipline too little. She of course received consequences at school by having to be in ISS for the remainder of the day which also meant she missed music class, recess, and the classes shaving cream party at the end of the day.
Also, if you vote no— what kind of home consequence would you have? She’s not a bad kid and typically does not set out to purposely hurt people but also when she is mad, she loses all her reasoning/logic skills.
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Why is my husband so fucking loud?
Seriously. I’m upstairs with a door closed. Why the fuck do I hear your spoon clanking on a bowl all the way up here?
🙃🫠
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SAHM life
Can we talk about how hard it is to loose financial independence??
Don’t get me wrong I love being a SAHM and I wouldn’t choose going to work over spending time with my baby, being able to raise him and be present in every stage.
BUT
Is really hard for me to depend on someone else financially. I feel like I lost freedom over myself. My boyfriend makes sure I have all that I need, but sometimes I just wanna go have a coffee, or organize a family gathering, IDK many other things that I need to ask him for money to do and if he doesn’t feel like spending money then I’m the one that has to deal with that. I just feel so vulnerable and sad. I wanna be able to get matching pjs for Christmas for us, or to get some cupcakes to celebrate each month for my baby and I CANT. Not without him. Ugh I FEEL CAGED idk if someone else has gone through something like it.
The only thing that keeps me going is that in a few years my baby is going to school and I can go back to my teacher job and do this little things that I’ve been wanting to but still this has been really hard for me.
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Mother in law
Does anyone else find their mother in law completely over controlling with their baby?
Mine is doing my absolute head in moaning telling me what I can and can’t do with my baby? I can’t take her out without her knowing about it, I can’t even hold her when she’s around. I’m all for a bit of advice and help but know your place. I’ve spoke to my partner about it and he’s spoke to her but nothings changed. I’m getting so close to snapping but I know it will cause drama within the family 😩
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Baby weaning!
Hello FTM here! My boy will be 5 months on the 17th of this month. For the past week he’s been having the cow and gate banana porridge once a day, absolutely devours it. I’m wondering what the next step is in our journey? He had a couple of tastes of purée mango and pear, didn’t hate them but didn’t exactly like them, he only had a couple of spoon fulls before he wasn’t interested anymore, I think the tangy taste shocked him a bit. When we start weaning, our plan was to puree some of our food up for him. When should I start this? We tend to eat a lot of chicken/meat, pastas, potatoes, veg etc. Thank you
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