in

Incognito Only! 👻

Halp

My husband is literally slow when it comes to making moves in the bedroom.

He had a long term gf before me who was his ex wife. It seems he got on with her 3x a week. With me it’s less than 1x a week. It’s once a week if we are lucky. He hardly ever initiates and it’s always me on top. He barely ever goes down on me but I have gone down on him several times.

Lately, I’ve been so bored with our sex life in general. I don’t understand how someone can have a partner and not want to have sex with them. If I initiate, he’s more likely to turn me down now more than ever because I’m pregnant in the third trimester. He perhaps doesn’t feel attracted to me. I’m nearly 35 weeks pregnant.

He keeps saying he will work out more and it’s all about testosterone and the blood flow for him. Blood flow needed to get hard and maintain an erection. But he doesn’t have any issues getting himself off with his hands. He fondles me and gets himself off just fine. He does that often, and sometimes does prefer that to having sex with me. I don’t want sex to feel like a chore. When we did have sex, it was always me on top of him.

I don’t feel cared for in the bedroom. Like my needs are not being met. It’s getting really boring and frustrating really. Not that I mind. I just don’t understand why he’d want to be with someone if he doesn’t want to have sex with them. He expects me to initiate all the time I guess. This has gotten a bit much for me. I’m not the kind of woman who’d initiate 3x a week.

Don’t get me wrong, 😑 he’s an excellent husband besides this. But I’m starting to think there could be more to him than meets the eye. For instance, he may be bisexual or what if he’s gay?!

The reason why I say this, is because early on when we started dating he’s said things like he thought fisting was pleasurable for women and offered to fist me. I was so taken aback because I thought he was trying to make fun of me. I saw it being a bit of a fringe activity. I was afraid of it (tell me why wouldn’t I be afraid of being rough housed with a grown man’s fist inside me) and saw it as a bit taboo. He likely grew a bit annoyed with me at that because from his perspective, I couldn’t keep an open mind. I was used to a chauvinistic, very dominant man before him. He was so dominant that he’d just take me anytime, even without consent. So this style of being was very new to me and took me by surprise.

But anyway, I do see him as a bit asexual with me. I’m afraid he’s either not into me, or not into sex in general, or he either swings differently (could he be secretly bi?!). I’m a bit worried about that, particularly because I’m straight as nails and I don’t see myself being with someone bi. This is something I’m worried about as I gestate his child.

What are your thoughts? Any fixes for this?