There is something sinister about my 3 year old boy.

Set you on fire and watch you die? 😳 A 3yo would not know about those things without having watched it either on TV/real life or heard someone talk about it. You need to get to the bottom of who/what is influencing him.

What about family members? Do you have a partner? I’m assuming you aren’t the only one with your child 24/7.

Side note he isnt like this with his dad or other relatives. He is the sweetest version of himself. Even when he was a baby he would be a nightmare with me but with everyone else he would settle and become a happy baby. When i tell my husband this he doesn’t believe me or makes me feel like a bad person for saying it or feeling this way. It reminds me of the
Movie called we need to talk about kevin

Hes heard or watched these things kids let alone toddlers dont come out with these things on there own so the only concerning part is where hes heard this stuff ' and if you feel that way towards hes most definitely gonna feel it and feel the difference which isnt fair on him hes a toddler and feel sad for him you dont love him the same ' i have 3 children currently pregnant woth 4th my middle som 8 years old has adhd and can say things that would hurt me and had outbrusts and I love him with all off me ' i think you need to talk to someone about this professional for ur sake and sons to understand what's going '

I agree he must’ve seen or heard it somewhere - I would still get him in therapy to understand where it’s coming from

What kind of cartoons ? If he had free access to youtube or the internet he could be watching cartoons with sinister plots and violence. Its very concerning either way and sometimes kids are sociopathic and it is no one’s fault. However I would get some early intervention. Also try not to show your resentment because it can create a loop. He is already feeling angry towards you but you are the adult.

You need to pray. Message me if you’d like to know more but in these instances you need Jesus

this is more than just what he's hearing, lots of kids hear crazy stuff and don't respond that way. you're putting too much pressure on yourself to fix it on your own, in my opinion. i don't agree with the comments who are saying you need to control yourself etc because that's really scary stuff to hear, and while yes he needs the love of his family, you're clearly trying your best. he's at a young age so you have time to get to the bottom of it and help him, but he does need professional help. and you deserve that too. you deserve a chance at a relationship with your son. if you can afford it, get yourself some support too, but either way don't just sit back - get him in children's therapy asap

I honestly think you really need to talk to someone professionally its sounds complicated and think there's deeper issues going especially if you have felt like this early on from birth with him ' had read off other comments off him wanting burn you and kill you it just seams very specific especially for a 3 year old to say it is very scarey" I hope you get the help you for yourself and son

I think you should take him to therapy because early intervention for behavioral stuff does work. But also he is hearing these things from somewhere. This type of thing is I think cyclical, he’s says something unacceptable- it gets a reaction out of you which provides him a lot of attention (negative attention is still attention)- he says it again.

I would take him to therapy, you’re the one looking after him daily hubby is at work 9-5 and you don’t have his support/belief/understanding so I would take it upon myself and get him someone to talk to about you, that’s a 3rd person so they can ask questions get to know him more and find out where/why he thinks this way and treats you differently to everyone else. I wouldn’t let this go longer I would start looking for a child therapist/psychologist asap and take him in myself because it’s not affecting your husband to get his okay, it’s affecting YOU. Be proactive and take him mama Xx

While this does not seem typical, it is typical for kids to act differently with their primary parent. Have you talked to his doctor? They might be able to point you in the right direction.

Does dad play video games around him? On the weekends maybe?

After reading your comments I just want to offer you some support and say I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with your bond with him. It must be so upsetting and stressful for you, when you have negative feelings towards him that you can’t control. I agree with others that therapy for you could be very beneficial, as he is so young and you still have a lifetime together ahead of you. It’s hard to bond with a baby who’s screaming at you all the time, I understand that personally. But there are definitely steps you can take to improve your relationship with professional help.

As a random note that I felt the need to say after reading all comments back and forth. Or at least mention my experience in childhood therapy.

The therapist isn’t for him to “act out” in front of, with you mentioning he’s only “bad” for you. It’s more for you to give them a list of he does all this with ME only and I want to know why or how to work on it with him and move forward nonviolently and bond with him.
Then they will do their thing to get him comfortable then, attempt to pry that side of him out if even just verbally of “so, hey, is there a place you keep seeing someone burning mommy?” Or “is there a reason you tell mommy you want to hit her when you grow up?”

I wasn’t threatening my mother but had my own issues 👏🏻

I have a little cousin who used to say things like that a small child. Now that he’s older (think he just turned 19), he’s actually a decent person as far as I know. Maybe at the moment he’s saying those things, he feels powerless so he talks up what sounds “powerful, manly”. I would remind him that if he doesn’t want those things done to him, then he shouldn’t want those things done to anyone else, especially his mother who loves and wants the best for him.

If he were saying this in a school or nursery, there would be safeguarding concerns.

How is he with animals? Does he hurt animals? Friends?

Yes, children can be influenced by what they hear somewhere but they won't rehearse it and visualise it the way he did.

People don't tend to believe or aknowledge that children can be evil and commit murder. It is controversial. Very few cases, true, but they exist. They benefit from early psychological intervention. I wouldn't wait to discuss it with a professional.

You sound really disconnected from your child, and there’s no shame in that, but some help would be beneficial for both of you. Not all children are the same, especially siblings. I’d speak with his pediatrician about these concerns, and I’d look into therapy for yourself.

I know a little boy like this and the school have helped get diagnosed. Please speak to the drs or health visitor.

He would ask questions like what you happen if i was to throw a dog out the window? or run a baby over.

Record it but dont let him or anyone know till you have it and then you have proff for your husband and the therapist something needs to happen

It seems there is a bond struggle happening both ways resulting in a cycle of negativity . It sounds like you need therapy together. I’m not saying his actions and words are not extremely worrying but I feel your involvement is at play here too and I think it needs to be taken back to pregnancy and birth. Something has gone wrong from there, not blaming you. You say he’s always been this way to you but no one believes you, how have you never caught it on video, how is he towards you when others around. Lots of information lacking here

I don’t know if I’ve watched investigation discovery too much, I’ve heard in most cases parents of the child that grew up to be a serial killer they always say they saw the signs from when the child was so young but ignored them because they thought the child was just being a child, I would advise you take the issue seriously. On the other hand, he can sense your resentment towards him as kids always know no matter how much we try to hide it, most of the things you’re doing for him you’re not doing it out of love you’re just doing it for the sake of it and he knows.

Ok I’m gonna be real with you, yes I still think get him therapy but I think you are really in your head about this. When I saw your comment about being obsessed with true crime, it kind of tracks. I’m not calling you crazy but I do want to remind you, we are talking about a 3 yo here. I remember babysitting a kid around 3 who said he wanted to “squish my eyes and stomp on them”. Kids say things that are not ok because they don’t realize the severity of what they are saying. It’s nothing mystical, nothing otherworldly. I really think it’s as simple as this- he has a behavioral issue and he’s acting out, you have stated that you’ve had connection issues with him since he was a newborn (he feels this), and it gets a reaction out of you.

I highly recommend taking him to a pediatric psychiatrist or therapist because they can help both of you with what you need to thrive in your mother-son relationship. Bc you cannot go on letting yourself believe that he’s evil or something

I agree with Courtney’s point in that I think you’re personalising this too much and would benefit from some support for yourself.

I can relate to some of this. My daughter is the same age and is incredibly aggressive towards me, and me only. Sometimes I’m creeped out and afraid of her. I made an audio recording of one of her episodes so people would believe me. Couldn’t film her directly because no doubt she would attack my phone and me if I tried. In that recording you can hear her picking up my dehumidifier and attempting to throw it at me, charging at me, hitting and kicking and kicking the door. She was an extremely difficult baby and now as a toddler has issues with rage, and again it’s only with me. At no point have I ever considered that she hates me. I’m her primary caregiver and she feels comfortable expressing her emotions with me, that’s all. But yes she has a problem with rage and emotional regulation.

Sounds like family therapy is maybe the best move. Singling him out as the problem child is not going to help any of the emotional/behavior issues he’s going through.

I see we're you are coming from Incognito. We just want are kids to show us the same kind of love we are showing them.
My 4 year old can act up and can be alot more aggressive with me than her Dad but I don't remember her saying the kind of things your son is saying at 3 years of age. You need to take him to a therapist before his behaviour towards you becomes even worse. This shouldn't be something you need to keep from your husband as you are the primary care giver and are bond to see alot more from your son than your husband. Your husband should be supporting you wether he believes you or not.
Sending you big hugs and I hope you get the help you need for your son.

Aaaw I am so sad and sorry about this situation you are in. You keep saying you can see in his eyes he hates just you ... that's very concerning for sure. I am sure he doesn't hate you but he may sense the negativeenergy between you both hence his reactions ofcourse. However your energies are both very off towards eachother. Just be patient w yourself and your boy and seek professional help if needed. What role does your husband play when he is like this towards you? Because he may need a strong male presence more often that can tell him no and tell him off because boys need the dads to say no when they try hitting mum. When you can get some time for yourself to distress and also consider professional help for yourself dear. It's not easy what you're going through. It sounds very heavy for you and you can't ignore it.

maybe spend more time with him one on one. try to make a bond with him. i don’t think he has any issues. as you said he’s sweetest person with everyone else but you. and you are the “only” person he’s behaving like this. he might have hidden anger or an insecurity that you love his sibling more and is distant with him. you know what i mean. i also got distant and from my mom when i started feeling that she spends more time with my brother. and whenever she would go out for shopping or her parents home, she would leave me at home and take my brother with her. it used to make me feel like im being avoided and ignored. so i thought when you said you don’t “feel the same way as i do with his sibling” that clearly makes sense to me. he’s just 3. he could be insecure and deeply hurt when he can sense that you don’t feel the love for him. it’s very hurting believe me. you gotta build that bond and make him believe you love him more than anyone else.

Firstly, make contact with his care provider in whichever country you live in to discuss interventions for him.

Start looking around at his exposure - he has learnt some of this from somewhere (consider older relatives e.g. cousins).

Get yourself into therapy. You’re showing some negative emotions towards your child and he will be picking up on that.

I agree it could be intrusive thoughts, stemming from anxiety. I wonder whether nursery might be good for him? And for both of you to have some separation, and just to break up the week. He might blossom when he has his own thing going on x best of luck to you