My mother-in-law and I have a good relationship overall. In fact, my baby, my partner, and I are currently living with her temporarily. She has welcomed us very warmly and been quite supportive. She's not the most maternal person I know tho, that's for sure. Besides my partner, she has another son, an 8yo, and seeing how she is with him helps me understand a lot about my partner and his avoidant attachment style (since she isn't very loving and caring.
But my problem is that she uses a language I don't like when referring to both her son and mine. For example, sometimes she tells her son he's being an idiot when he's tired or hungry. Sometimes she calls him unbearable. She's never yelled at him, at least not in my presence, but I don't like that kind of language she uses with both her son and my baby. When she asks how did we slept, and we didn't sleep very well, she also calls him an idiot or unbearable, and it bothers me. I don't know how to deal with it because I don't know what to even say to her either.
But today something happened that upset me a bit. This morning, my baby was in his high chair, and she came up behind him, so he arched his back and I turned my head back to see her stretching his neck a lot. She came closer and, in a sweet tone, started running her hand along his neck, saying, "I'm going to cut your little neck, I'm going to cut your little neck!" My partner was behind me, so I didn't see his reaction. I was washing the dishes and I was stunned. I didn't know what to say because she said it in a playful or tender tone, but it didn't seem appropriate AT ALL. But she was saying it with such a sweet and playful voice, that I didn't say anything.
Has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation and can share advice on how to handle this?
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What the fuck. Who says that to a baby??????????
If you think I should say something: how and what would you say?
I'm worried my partner wouldn't react well, since he must be used to the language she uses. Also, when I said I didn't want her to watch him, if she didn't offered first, he seemed upset. :(

Idk if this is just my passive aggressive personality, but I’d start defending your husband when she says stuff like that so she knows it’s not okay, and other people think it’s wrong. Not like, directly shaming her, but kinda. If my MIL called my husband an idiot or unbearable casually, I’d respond by coming up to hug or kiss my husband and saying something like “I don’t find him unbearable at all” or “you’re not an idiot, you’re such an intelligent man.”
I guarantee she’ll backpedal so fast, MILs are usually slightly competitive for their son’s favor and attention lol

I think I would of said something at the time like “that’s not very pg13” or “Id rather you didn’t joke about trying to cut my sons neck” but respond in the same tone but get the point across. Seems a very odd thing to say. Bit different when people say I’m going to gobble you up and plant lots of kisses.

That's scary😬 I feel like the fact that she said it in a sweet tone makes it worse idk why. Makes her seem unpredictable and a little psychotic💀

That's crazy. Did you mention it to your partner later? This is creepy and i wouldn't want her alone with my baby

I have experience when my mother-in-law or my mom has said something to my son that I'm not comfortable with and I spoke up so I encourage you to do the same. It doesn't have to be mean or anything and even though you could be as sweet as you can be, they could take it that way but they had to remember. You know this is your child. It's your child so they got to to abide by the boundaries that have already been built and not build their own or their own rules cuz they don't just get to do whatever just because their grandparents and their elders that doesn't give them a pass to not be accountable

Sorry but no. The most aggressive thing we say to my little one is ‘imma eat ur lil toes’ and that goes for my mum and MIL lol…. wtf

Hmmmm. I get aggressive affection, the whole I’m gonna bite your toes off sorta thing. But this is a bit too far for it to be a cute joke.

what.the.fuck.
Who the fuck jokes about cutting anyone's neck, worse...a baby's... idk how you didn't address it, playful tone or not. Thats not language I want being used towards my child or around them for them to start saying shit like that
My very almost 2 year old has started acting quite emotional when his bum is being changed. He used to hate getting his nappy changed anyway, however he’s been really good the last 2 months at getting his own nappy, laying down etc but then when it comes to actually wiping his bum/privates…he gets REALLY upset and cries/forces his legs shut so I can’t clean up properly. I’ve had a look as best as he’d let me and there’s no redness or any cuts etc.
Is this normal? I have to hold both his legs open and basically fight him to get to the areas I need to get to. I try not to make it harder than it is for him so I am careful and try my best to comfort him while it’s happening. But what the heck is this all about? I was worried someone had hurt him but he’s never not with me so it’s impossible. I just don’t know where it’s coming from and why it’s so upsetting for him. Apart from this he is a great child who barely ever cries (unless he doesn’t get his way lol) but he can have a fall/cut and will be smiling and laughing.
When he’s in the bath and I wash his area (with water & not hard at all just a little wipe, nothing that will hurt) he also doesn’t seem comfortable with that either and tries to run away, he doesn’t get as upset it’s more of a game to him and sometimes laughs. It’s all very confusing. My partner says it’s a sensitive area anyway and while he’s young it might just be extra sensitive to touch. Any boys mums who can help? 🥲
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I had to message my mother in law to please stop kissing my baby on the face…she messaged today for the first time since that conversation. I explained that we cannot meet up today as I’m sick (the cold that the in-laws gave us !!)…so she said “ok give baby a big kiss and cuddle from me”. Anyone else feel like that sounds really cheeky? Or am I taking it the wrong way😆basically just went in 1 ear & out the other.
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I'm really annoyed with nursery. They have lost our apron and kept brushing us off for 2 weeks and saying we have to speak to someone else. Or they simply say they don't know they weren't there to most things I ask. My little one has also started to really cry at drop off at beginning of week. This has been ongoing 3 weeks. Her key worker has changed to someone who is not in the same days she is, so 2/3 days. They also lost one of our bottles last week. About 3 weeks ago my little one has tights on. I hadn't realised the elastic had gone on them so they kept falling down. We went for a walk after pick up and every 30 seconds I saw she was struggling to move around and the tights were bothering her. When I went to pull them up there was no nappy or knickers on her! Her little bum was out. I was so mad at them. When I asked them about it they said they don't know. But I'm disappointed as they took off her nappy in morning and didn't put her pants on. So she must have gone the whole day that way and nobody noticed?! Then last week as we were leaving I saw her cardigan lying on the side and when I picked it up it had paint all over it. They don't use water based paint and it never comes out! When I showed the room leader he said he doesn't understand as my little one didn't paint today. As if that's an explanation. My little one later told me she did it. So they have left the paint out and let kids go to it unattended then.
I'm just really really frustrated about it all.
Are these all small things?
Is everyone having these problems and it's just how it is?
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I am 3 weeks emergency c section with our second baby (2 years). My partner got a new work phone a few weeks ago and he was sitting on it whilst at the dinner table. I asked him if I could have a look at it and I picked it up. He snatched it out of my hand and tried to hide it from me. He then refused to let me look at it and runs upstairs. He came back down stairs and explained that he didn’t want me to see a work email about a new job before he had a chance to talk to me about this.
I cannot understand the need to snatch, hide a phone and then leave the room over a work email.
I am feeling very angry with him and have refused to go to his family meal tonight and play happy families.
He is annoyed with me and is blaming me for ruining our evening and cancelling on his family.
I don’t want to believe he is hiding things from me but his reaction makes me think he is cheating/looking at things I wouldn’t approve of.
For reference, he has the passcode to my phone and goes on my phone all the time.
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For UK mums, when did you start weaning your baby onto solids and how did you know they were ready? What first foods did you try and do you have any tips for getting started? I'd love to hear about your approaches and any advice for handling nerves about choking or reactions.

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I feel like I can’t breathe. Financial stability is so important. Since June we have been struggling bc realistically we can only afford our rent and bills, but since we have been waiting for the states benefits to renew, we’ve been struggling to stay afloat because we’ve had to buy food. I’m at that point where I’ve been going to the food bank once a month and the distribution centers every week. I’m grateful we still have WIC benefits. I feel like I’m drowning financially. My daughters birthday is coming up and I’m worried she isn’t going to be happy because I don’t have the money to buy her gifts.
We have what we need.
A place to call home. A vehicle that takes us from A to B.
Food. Electricity. Water. Entertainment! That’s a big one. Personally I want to cancel all streaming services and cut the internet bc that’s such a luxury to me.
It’s gonna be okay. I just think we’re conditioned to want more. Have more. More toys, more clothes, more food, more CONVENIENCE.
We have enough. I may not be able to give her a million presents, but I can give her my time, my love, my guidance. I can BE present with her and hopefully that’s enough for her. Hopefully she feels like the luckiest little girl in the world even though I can’t shower her with gifts.
This is only temporary. In a few years, her little brother will be going to school and I can go back to work/school. I can provide more.
For now, we learn how to be okay with less.
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