Tantrums

Girl same.

He is just in that phase of the terrible twos. Have you tried redirecting after the NO? Sure children understand no but they don't yet understand what the proper behavior they should adopt is. My 22m old throws tantrums but i redirect her so well that my husband sometimes insists that she should go throw it to express her emotions fully. But if she is hitting her sister, i say no by stopping her hands, show/tell her gentle touches and make her say sorry to her sister and give her a hug. Going into places or throwing toys are normal behavior for a growing child, when they are displaying a behavior you don't want like throwing toys, you can say "no, toys are for playing, if you don't want to play mama can put the toys away" and make sure you follow through, remove the toys and replace with a calming activity like reading a book if the child is having zoomies. Don't say things you're not actually going to do.

Same for going places they're not supposed to, redirect to a different activity, like coloring or make having a snack sound like the best place to be if its snack time. Teach them what is Yes instead of just always no.

He’s only 21mo old mama. It’s gonna be a power struggle :( I feel for you. It’s STILL a power struggle with my 3yr old at times. I found sitting with him quietly until he’s finished crying and talking through his feelings helps. Then redirecting with something he CAN have or do helps too.

Totally normal at this age, albeit, difficult. My guy is doing the same. We just repeat what he should do instead, that it is okay to be upset, that we still love him, but that he just can’t do that lol. And if all else fails, we distract with something else. I would maybe ask your BD to change how he addresses them. I don’t think yelling is a great approach just as they don’t understand everything necessarily but they feel tone/energy. The yelling could be making him cry more or prolong the tantrum.

A strategy I use is when my baby gets into something he's not supposed to, I quickly get him , pick him up and as I'm doing that I say no, that's dangerous, and then take him somewhere safe while I carry him to the other activity singing or dancing while carrying him. The dancing or singing distracts him from the thing he was doing and he's in a better mood when I put him somewhere safe. If I see that he goes to that same spot again where he's not supposed to, I say no that's dangerous or no, let's do something else that's fun and give it about 3 seconds to let him react. If he doesn't get out of the place on his own, I again pick him up and physically put him somewhere safe. Once at the safe spot, you can then talk to your baby explaining the danger of going into the othr place and each time they pass by where he's not supposed to be at, you just say no and usually my little one gets it by the second time. My child also has autism so this was something I was taught by his ABA therapist and it works so well.