Mum guilt… Nurseries
Hey mammas!
So I’ll try keep this short so I’m going back to work in a few months my daughter will be 15 months old. I’m only going back part time and I’ll be sending my daughter to nursery 3 days per week. But I see a lot of mums and videos on tik tok saying “id never send my child to nursery, I worked in a nursery they are horrible I’d never do it” I didn’t want to send my daughter to nursery anyway when she’s still so young because I’m scared that she’ll feel sad and look for me and I’m not there😞.
I wish I didn’t have to send her but I genuinely can’t afford to live unless I’m working at least part time. Im a solo mum so dad/partner is not in the picture so it’s all on me.
I know there’s been some stories in the media about nursery workers and abuse but I thought they are rare cases.
I’m almost crying writing this thinking that she won’t be okay. I’m not afraid of the worst case situation but more afraid of her missing me… I don’t know. I don’t know why everyone’s saying they’re never putting their child in nursery.
I thought nursery would be good for her to make friends, to have fun with messy activities and paint ect.
Just wondering what everyone’s else’s thoughts are on this
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My LB found it hard initially being separated but honestly now he reaches out to cuddle the nursery workers etc. He loves it there now and he’s absolutely thrived - so much so when I’m on MAT I’ll be continuing to take him just on slightly different hours
It is hard at the beginning, but the right nursery will help the child's transition.
Honestly, nursery 3 days a week really helped my son develop his confidence and make connections with other people. We made sure we felt comfortable in the setting and looked at lots of options before deciding. We also made sure we had a good relationship with any of his keyworkers and anytime anything was even slightly off we were straight on to his keyworker and nursery manager. I was extra vigilant and if there was something I wasn't happy with I was firm and direct with my expectations. I also expected thorough in depth hangovers and would not allow that to slip. You could also consider other forms of childcare such as a nanny in your home or a childminder who looks after less kids.
I’d ignore anyone on TikTok 🥲 sending them is HARD and putting your trust in someone else is HARD but also it has to be done for many of us. It will also, in many cases, have to happen eventually with school etc. I can’t afford to be a SAHM (nor would I be very good at it…). My baby has come on leaps and bounds since starting and he loves is. We looked at a few and I went with my gut, it’s more expensive than many round ours but I trust them.
The beginning will be hard for you both especially as you've been together for 15 months.
Have you picked a nursery? Do you feel comfortable there? If you feel comfortable and connected with the building and the staff there then your daughter will settle.
Honestly the things they learn and experiences they have, she will thrive! I could not have taught my son the things he learned there..he's even got some little buddies that we see still even though he's gone to school
Honestly my son LOVES nursery and the key worker he has is amazing and to be honest all the teachers in his nursery are great, my son really came out of his shell after he joined and I never have any doubts about the care he receives when he is there. The nursery my son goes it is attached to the school he’ll be going to in September as well and have amazing settling in programs for the kids. He used to be such a shy child now has 2 amazing friends that he plays with all the time
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