Partner troubles
So my partner has never been the most motivated individual. He stays up all hours of the night gaming regardless if he has work the next day or not. If he doesn't need to be anywhere, and I am also at home, he sleeps until late afternoon and leaves me with our 2 year old. When he is awake, he either doom scrolls on his phone, or games in his little corner. Yesterday, i had a long shift at work while he stayed home with our daughter. Now I know it isn't easy staying home with a chaotic toddler, that's why I took her from him the second I got home so he could decompress for a bit. I got a load of laundry on, did some dishes from the night before, cooked our dinner, did bath time, brushed her teeth, put her to bed and went through to her every time she woke up through the night. During bath time, I asked him to clean up the living room and do the rest of the dishes. I come through this morning to nothing been done. He stayed up gaming until 4 or 5 this morning but didn't do the one thing I asked of him. I just feel so disrespected. I figured I had given him plenty of time to chill before I asked him to do the bare minimum. We are expecting our second baby in October. If this is what to expect from him now, what do I need to expect when this one arrives? I just don't know how to get him to realise that I am drowning. It's hard to talk to him about this because he takes everything I say as a personal attack. I just don't know how to navigate this. I guess I'm just ranting really as I don't have anyone to go to.
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better to be a single mum since you are doing all the work at home and working outside. he’s not worth a minute of your time!
sorry to hear this, but i’m sure you know the moment that second baby comes it’s only going to be harder. handling a toddler and a new born isn’t easy and it’s more stressful and tiring. it really sounds like you’re already doing this on you’re own. i’m not sure if he is really going to change once the second baby arrives and that is very unfortunate. if i may ask, why keeps you with him besides you’re babies if he isn’t supporting you when you need it the most?
Sounds like he needs some mental health help. He is avoiding his life. He’ll never get better if he doesn’t become aware of it and if he doesn’t want help.
My partner was like this initially and he still has his moments but I did have to have very brutal conversations with him to basically say this is a personal attack because I need help and you’re not helping to make him realise how selfish he was being. He is so much more engaged and involved now - he still games and scrolls on his phone but not like before. They need an outlet as much as we do but he sounds like he needs to pull his finger out and get a reality check before baby 2 arrives.
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