Do you self pleasure even though you’re in a relationship? Do you keep it you take or share with your partner? As in do you tell them you have self pleasured.
We have a healthy sex life. With 3 children. Our youngest just turned 3 so time to ourselves is very limited atm.
The other day I had a morning to myself and I used my new flower toy. It was great btw 🤩 I put the toy back in my husband’s drawer. (That’s where we keep our toys.)
He came down the other day and was seething that I had self pleasured and he has seen the evidence on the toy. It was made to feel embarrassed.
Still thinking about it and looking for some thoughts and options. 🙃
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It is absolutely ok for you to self pleasure and how dare he make you feel otherwise! Aside from it being your body, your choice, and your right to boost your own happy hormones, if you know how you like toys used on yourself, the shared experience can only be better for it.
On a slight tangent... I don't know quite what you mean by seeing the evidence on a toy, but you absolutely need to clean your toys between every single use. You can get sex toy wipes to make this super quick and easy. It isn't worth the infections to not clean your toys.

It is perfectly normal an healthy to do things on your own from time to time, he has no right to make you feel bad about that!
If you were actively choosing it over spending intimate time with him then maybe that would be an issue, but if it's not impacting your sex life together then what is his problem?