please help.

Girl you do what makes you comfortable, they are your boys and if you aren’t ready for that tell her. If she gets mad that’s her problem. All in in they are your kids you get the final say

It’s not really her choice when your kids sleep over. Literally anything could happen. My son is 2.5 and he’s definitely not stayed anywhere yet! Esp an hour away.
Just say you’re not ready for sleepovers yet but will let you know when you are, thanks ☺️

If you’re not ready then don’t push it. Some kids are ready before others. My now 4 1/2 year old has stayed the night plenty of times at my parents (who are four hours away) but he wanted to when he was 3 for the first time. Begged to stay after we had to go home for work. My mom said she’s bring him by the following weekend, sooner if he wanted. Everyday we did a video chat and he was happy there though he missed us.
Is either kid asking for the sleepover? I’d wait until they ask unprompted

You are not wrong! You are ready when you are ready! I just had my 4 1/2 year old daughter spend 2 weeks back home in Washington. We moved to South Dakota and I’m due soon with the second baby. I wasn’t necessarily ready but thought she may need the surrounding of family members she hasn’t seen in a while and i knew with my MIL and FIL she would be ok. Don’t get me wrong it was the hardest thing I’ve done but created so much memories for her❤️ she was ready even tho I might’ve been hesitant

Hey hun my boys are 4&6 and you're not overreacting if you go on threads down the community of abuse victims you'll see why being preventative is better than trying to please family. The kids are too small to truly say if someone hurt them one way or another. Then you have friends or family members sometimes in laws have pop by and older generations trust anybody so I think you should stand firmly and just say- they're too young when they're old enough to choose a sleepover I'm open to it or just they're too young. Don't be apologetic because the only people you need to worry about are your little humans whose world you protect 💜

The only way to know if your ready is try and see if it goes well and then you can be sure of yourself and them when you're ready to send them back over. But don't pressure yourself. Have phone calls during that time, go over to drop them off and pick them up. Take steps to help you feel secure and have their respect for that. If they're too young and it's not that time then just don't do it again till they're ready. You can't shelter them forever love. One day you won't be around to take care of them and they need to be able to and also have their village

I'm 21 and I never had a sleep over when I was a kid. My mom was against it and now I think shes right. I didn't feel like I missed out or anything like that. You cant 100% trust anyone. So if you're not ok with it or are not ready then you dont have to. You can still have your kids over at her house with supervision when you're there, so that your kids can bond with your MIL

No is a full sentence. My daughter is 5 and she is not ready for a sleepover and I won't force it on her until she is ready with her mimi. If they aren't ready then I wouldn't do it.

Fair

I also have to correct my comment because I do believe in if they need you to speak up for them and don't know if your kid will come to you if something bad were to happen then I say I'd wait till you know your child can do that before sleepovers with anyone

Trust your judgement with your kids. If you don't feel ready they probably aren't ready either. If mil pushes the issue you could always offer an alternative of going and staying the night there with them and being on standby. My kids are super social and always have been and wanted to stay at family and neighbors houses with their friends but I wasn't comfortable so I'd go with them. If mil has a problem with you being there too, the kids don't need to be there period.

Not wrong. You shouldn't feel pressured or worried about this, if you are, don't do it.

Our 4y hasn’t slept over with anyone yet either, we’re definitely not ready yet either.