Tired of the sexist bullshit

I live with my sons paternal grandfather. He doesnt want me to work and he doesnt want to drive me to work and he thinks my sons dad would be "babysitting" if he watches our son. Even if I get my license or get an uber im sure he will still try to come up with some other reason to tell me to stop working. I can't take it anymore. He also does a lot of other things that bother me.

He films me obsessively without consent (he did the same thing to my husbands exs), he does it at home and in public and even at my sons doctor appointments.

He spanked my child, he thinks women shouldn't work, he is offended if i buy something with my own money without him knowing, he rubbed my hair with a towel. He makes innapropriate comments to me such as "honey im home", "Where are we going now hun?", "i am a piss poor driver" "your husband is pussy whipped" "are you gonna have another one?" (Asking me if i will have another baby with a creepy look on his face. The way he said it and the way he looked at me when he said it didn't sit right with me.) He also got mad when I told him to stop filming me. He also tries to look at my phone screen a lot. Ive had times where he would try to look at my screen and ask me "what are you reading?" And ive had times where he would ask me who I am calling if he hears me on a phone call. He also gives me a mean look whenever I use my phone. Its almost like he thinks I am not allowed to use my phone at all even though he is the one filming me all the time. My entire nervous system feels nervous everytime he is around me. He pretends to care about me when he actually just wants to control me. I think he is a creep and I also think he is sexist.

in our community

Offended by Health Visitor

I’m a bit confused with what I should be doing with feeding my 9 month old (he just turned 9 months) He’s only gained 500g since 6 months old, he’s very very active. He’s crawling, standing up with support and started to stand without support, he’s walking with support (push walker, holding him or furniture) so he’s not tired or lethargic, he is a very healthy and energetic boy.

I was under the impression that at this age, the focus should be exposure to different foods and texture, focusing on chewing and overall just learning how to eat. And that their main nutrition still comes from breastmilk until they’re 1 year old.

I usually feed my son 3 meals a day, largest meal being lunch and a smaller meal for dinner to avoid belly pains at night. A typical meal would be a toast with nut butter for breakfast or porridge, meatballs/chicken with some sort of potatoes or salmon with rice or vegetables. Dinner would be something small like corn or hummus with bread. He’s still feeding before meals as we were told to feed before meals. He’s breastfed and I’m breastfeeding on demand which feels like consistently throughout to the day!

I had a weigh in appointment this morning with the HV and she was very judgmental — she asked me what solids I give my son and when I explained to her, she immediately said “why are you not feeding him?” Which was honestly so heartbreaking to hear because I’m doing my best to make sure I feed my son correctly (he’s allergic to cow’s milk and egg so I go out my way to prepare his food)

Anyways, sorry for the rant! I guess I just want to know what I should be doing — and if I’m doing anything wrong? I’d love to have any advice.

Is my marriage salvageable?

For years iv felt emotionally alone.
Both of my labor & births, he may as well not be there. He didnt come near me or support me in any way.
All we do is bicker now. He complains constantly about my mood and how depressing I am to be around. Im exhausted. Our second baby has never been a good sleeper. He started to sleep through but has now got a cold so the oast 2 nights have been horrendous. So much so I missed my first day back to work after maternity leave as my day begun at 2:30am.

Im drained, im also chronically ill with an auto immune disease, im facing new health issues with prolonged menstrual bleeding. I have bled for 50% of the time over the past 5m. Im being sent for an urgent scan which was arranged and booked for just 3 days after my appointment. After that appointment he didn't ask how it went, when I eventually told him 2 days before the scan that I was being sent for one, his main concern was who will watch the kids cause hes working. Not why or what or how am I feeling about it. Im so miserable atm. He tells me im dramatic, im depressing, im a quitter blah blah. I have PND / PNA im so not okay atm. He knows this. But dismisses my feelings and my health issues all the time.
Iv never felt so alone.

Am I overreacting about this morning?

I wasn’t feeling well today, so I asked my husband to take care of the baby in the morning. Normally the baby wakes up around 7, but my husband got him around 7:45. I got up around 8:30 and went to check on them. The baby was still in his pajamas, his diaper hadn’t been changed, and it was completely full(wee). My husband was making breakfast, but he couldn’t get the baby to eat.

I had literally just gotten up, and seeing everything like that annoyed me because my husband was originally supposed to be off today. Then he told me he actually had some important meetings and needed to start work at 9. So it suddenly felt like everything was still falling on me anyway. I got a little passive aggressive and said, “Fine, I’ll feed him,” and of course the baby ate with me because I turn it into a game and all that.

Then we started arguing after a few comments back and forth.

On the days your partner takes the baby in the morning, do they usually change them, get them dressed, and handle breakfast too? Because normally I do all of that every single morning. The only times I really expect my husband to fully take over are when I’m sick.

Is this petty?

My partner (and his 9 yo son) never take their dirty tissues out their pockets. Sons, I empty. Partners I used to, however I told him repeatedly ‘take issues out else it messes all the other clothes’ ‘yea yeah’ was the reply I got.

Well his shorts have been in the wash basket now for 2 weeks as there’s dirty issues in the pockets. The rest of the washing has all been done.

Am I being petty? Should I just take it out. Hoping he’ll soon ask about them and I’ll say ‘there’s tissue in pockets’ 😂😂

How early do we potty train?

My little girl is one and I’m keen to get her potty trained sooner rather than later, But she’s in nursery so will they rather her be in nappies still?

Vulnerability Time

I’m scared for my husband to go back to work …

FTM to an amazing little girl who will be 4 weeks on sunday !

My husband has been my rock, my solid foundation for a month whilst on paternity leave but he has to go back to work on Monday and I’m frightened …

Im excited to be a mumma but at the same time I’m petrified to be alone with her, I keep thinking of the What ifs ???

What if she has one of her (I’m tired) crying sessions and I cant console her ?

What if ? What if ? what if ?

Theres a lot going on in my mind right now and its causing anxiety

At what stage does it get easier ?