in

England

I feel like a horrible friend on every level.

So my very long standing and good friend is going through ALOT . However some of these things she brings on herself. She’s in an absolutely toxic relationship. You know the one where the guy doesn’t treat you so badly that you’d leave but also doesn’t cherish, love or respect you hardly enough to make you feel calm, at peace or loved in a relationship. This then has had a knock on effect on her work. She quit her job in a 5⭐️ luxury hotel and spa where she was on her way to working up the ranks. She used to be given full responsibility of all the celebrity guest who’d visit the hotel (MollyMae’s team used to text her privately to organise over stays to name but a few) she was well liked and very much valued for her work. Why she quit the job? Well because of the BF. She literally dropped her job, her friends and her family all because she just became obsessed with this man and I suspect he loved bombed her at the start and isolated her. As her friends we always still invited her out and would just try maintain that connection just in case she ever opened her eyes and needed us. Well it’s been 2years. She’s put three stone on, is covered in eczema and hasn’t had her hair cut or coloured in years. She’s unrecognisable. We don’t suspect there is violence in her relationship but we suspect he’s done a number on her self esteem and she’s just stopped looking after herself. She’s back in touch with a lot of us and has started coming out for walks and coffees. Things picked up when I had my daughter as she’s desperate to have her own baby so she likes to chat fertility and pregnancy with me. But surprise, surprise she can’t get pregnant and I truly do believe it’s because of the life style she’s living now. She’s constantly in fight or flight worrying about the BF. She eats junk food, vapes and drinks a lot of wine. She comes crying to me when her periods arrived but I’m also getting a bit annoyed because she won’t listen to anything if I dare try bring up what I believe is the root cause of all this. Her life turned upside down when she met him but she won’t hear a bad word against him. A lot me thinks she’s just so desperate to have a little family and a home life she’s just putting up with him as he’s the one who can give her all that I suppose. We’re all mid to late thirties and I get it, her body clocks ticking. But she isn’t happy and I honestly think that’s why there’s no baby. But I’m secretly happy because I just don’t want her to have a child with this man. I just wish she’d leave and start a fresh. I feel bad because I now don’t ever bring up the BF. Sometimes I can find her annoying too because I’m loosing respect for her, it’s hard watching somebody who was so vibrant become dead behind the eyes. She can really irritate me when she comes to my home because she just sounds delusional and I can’t stand being fake anymore. But then I feel sorry for her all at the same time.

I know this is such a long post but I’m honestly at my wits end with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore or if there is anything I can do, she is a grown up after all. Any advice ladies???