Digital Village..

Anyone else feel like their so called ‘village’ is just text exchanges?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and some days the text exchanges do save me from a menty-B .. but do I wish that they’d actually show up for me, and actually see me and my kids? Absolutely.
I’m fed up of the over the phone advice and text messages, I actually want to see my friends but even when I suggest that I’ll bring me and my two kids to see them, they cancel or just don’t have the time. But they always have the time for their other friends 😭😭

I got a message from one of my friends about doing something soon because ‘we never see each other’ but there’s never the effort to just come and hang out with me.

Just really struggling with life.. two kids is a lot, my husband works full time and then comes home to be super hands on that by the time the kids are in bed we’re both exhausted.
Neither of us have family close by to help. Just feels like a lot of friendships and the ‘village’ are just text messages.

Not exactly sure what I’m hoping to get from posting this, just one exhausted mama 😭😭

in our community

Sex became a task for me

Ever since I got pregnant until now, baby is 18 months old, I totally lost my sex drive. It’s become a task for me that I still have to fulfill at the end of the day. We probably do it like 2-3 times per week. My husband wants me on top and not only do I dislike doing it, I also just don’t have the strength for it anymore. Physically and mentally.

I feel sorry for him because he’s doing so much for the family but it just feels like a burden to me. Today I kind of snapped when he wanted me on top again and I told him how I’m doing this for him and that it’s a task for me and I’d rather just go to bed or watch tv. Of course he got turned off, sad, disappointed and feels unloved and unwanted.

I really don’t know what to do. We don’t have a village, it’s just us. We’re rocking this thing but it’s taking its toll on me.
I don’t want to ruin our marriage through this but I also can’t just fake it anymore.

What can I do to enjoy this more again?

Dating advice : If you were talking to a guy and he took 6 hours to reply to you and said he is supposedly at work but just the other day he was at work and texting you with in an hour or 30 min does that mean he’s occupied with somebody

else and I asked how his Saturday was going and he didn’t ask me any questions to keep the conversation going. Would you text back what does that mean.. I hate dating why is it complicate or it’s just the wrong guys.

Can a long term relationship/marriage last without sex for a long time?

(What would you consider a long time? -commmet)

I feel like a horrible friend on every level.

So my very long standing and good friend is going through ALOT . However some of these things she brings on herself. She’s in an absolutely toxic relationship. You know the one where the guy doesn’t treat you so badly that you’d leave but also doesn’t cherish, love or respect you hardly enough to make you feel calm, at peace or loved in a relationship. This then has had a knock on effect on her work. She quit her job in a 5⭐️ luxury hotel and spa where she was on her way to working up the ranks. She used to be given full responsibility of all the celebrity guest who’d visit the hotel (MollyMae’s team used to text her privately to organise over stays to name but a few) she was well liked and very much valued for her work. Why she quit the job? Well because of the BF. She literally dropped her job, her friends and her family all because she just became obsessed with this man and I suspect he loved bombed her at the start and isolated her. As her friends we always still invited her out and would just try maintain that connection just in case she ever opened her eyes and needed us. Well it’s been 2years. She’s put three stone on, is covered in eczema and hasn’t had her hair cut or coloured in years. She’s unrecognisable. We don’t suspect there is violence in her relationship but we suspect he’s done a number on her self esteem and she’s just stopped looking after herself. She’s back in touch with a lot of us and has started coming out for walks and coffees. Things picked up when I had my daughter as she’s desperate to have her own baby so she likes to chat fertility and pregnancy with me. But surprise, surprise she can’t get pregnant and I truly do believe it’s because of the life style she’s living now. She’s constantly in fight or flight worrying about the BF. She eats junk food, vapes and drinks a lot of wine. She comes crying to me when her periods arrived but I’m also getting a bit annoyed because she won’t listen to anything if I dare try bring up what I believe is the root cause of all this. Her life turned upside down when she met him but she won’t hear a bad word against him. A lot me thinks she’s just so desperate to have a little family and a home life she’s just putting up with him as he’s the one who can give her all that I suppose. We’re all mid to late thirties and I get it, her body clocks ticking. But she isn’t happy and I honestly think that’s why there’s no baby. But I’m secretly happy because I just don’t want her to have a child with this man. I just wish she’d leave and start a fresh. I feel bad because I now don’t ever bring up the BF. Sometimes I can find her annoying too because I’m loosing respect for her, it’s hard watching somebody who was so vibrant become dead behind the eyes. She can really irritate me when she comes to my home because she just sounds delusional and I can’t stand being fake anymore. But then I feel sorry for her all at the same time.

I know this is such a long post but I’m honestly at my wits end with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore or if there is anything I can do, she is a grown up after all. Any advice ladies???

FaceTime

Anyone in this group down to FaceTime. Really need to rant to someone that doesn’t know the people I’m friends with🤷‍♀️

support

hi everyone
i just recently separated from my babies narcissistic father (he left us) and im feeling really really hopeless. im back at home in a different state since i was a SAHM and i feel really isolated.
does anyone have a similar situation that i could talk to? or maybe just a chat? i don’t know how im going to survive alone lol