Working mom guilt
I’ve been a SAHM for the past 3 years now, with two kids ages 3 years and 16months. I have my special education teaching license but had my daughter immediately after I graduated so I decided I wanted to stay home with her, then later decided to have another baby. My husband has a great job and we are grateful to have the opportunity to live on only his income, however, I love my career so much that I don’t want to give it up, and I am finally ready to go back to work this year. My husband has always preferred for me to stay home, but he also is very supportive of my goals and wants me to do what makes me happy.
As much as I know I have the support of my family and that’s all that matters, I can’t help but to feel guilty or shamed every time I talk to other people about it who don’t understand my decision. For instance, the other day I met with another mom for a play date and I mentioned that I was wanting to go back to work. She questioned my decision and then kind of proceeded to say that she could never leave her kids for a career.. It honestly made me feel guilt but also annoyed? Then I had another conversation with another mom friend and she also questioned why I wanted to work if I didn’t need to. And then proceeded to say “Oh well if you’re a teacher, you should homeschool your kids” But honestly, that’s just not something I want for me or for my kids. Like idk, I get that being a working mom is not for everyone, but like you don’t gotta question or shame other people’s decision..
Like believe me I know that I’m going to have a hard time transitioning back to work like, and of course I’m going to miss my kids, but I’m also going to chase my dreams and fill my cup and therefore be a better mom for it. And honestly, if I decide that working mom life is not for me, then I can just go back to being a SAHM since I am very fortunate to have the option to not work..
Anyways, that’s my lil rant that I wanted to get off my chest. I normally don’t let other peoples opinions get to me but I’ve just been feeling a lot of guilt lately, so just need to know I’m not alone in these feelings. Thanks 🤍
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I’d definitely go back to work. I’d go insane if I stay home. I also understand that’s difficult feeling like you’re leaving your kids with someone else while you work.
Every single person is different. What drives us, what makes us thrive, and what brings us joy is different for everyone. I truly believe that when people pass judgment, even passively, it has much more to do with what they’re dealing with (insecurities, fears, desires, etc) than anything to do with the person that they’re judging. One of the most powerful things that you can do for your children and your family as a mother is to make choices based on what is going to better your life and bring you joy, because a happy and a fulfilled mom is the best kind of mom. Also, just a reminder that feeling guilt doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong. Often times we feel guilty because we’ve been conditioned to think and believe a certain way about what it means to be a “good mom”. That pursuing something that you want for yourself is somehow selfish, even if it brings you joy and improves your children’s lives. But you get to decide if you really believe that that’s true.
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