Dad going back to work
First time mum to a baby girl who was born end of April at 36 weeks. My husband is going back to work today and I honestly feel like I’m not going to cope at all. He has been off work for four weeks and with me every single day, he was off and with me the whole week before I had an emergency c section because I was quite poorly and the first three weeks of baby as he extended his paternity by one more week. I have honestly been dreading this day SO much since we came home from hospital with baby, and now it’s here, I feel incredible anxiety.
I am pretty much exclusively breastfeeding baby girl, she has one formula bottle in the evening before bed generally or middle of the night but I give that feed to. My husband does every nappy change, outfit change, settled her when I’m tapped out and constantly makes sure I have food and a drink whilst doing all the house work as I seem to constantly be sat down feeding as we are going in and out of cluster feeding every few days. How am I going to cope without that constant support? 😩
I do have some support from family but a lot of them work full time/during the day so can’t help too much when he is in work. My mum doesn’t work but unfortunately our family dog gets too over excited when I am there with the baby and it’s a bit of a nightmare so it’s not like I can even pop there when I am overwhelmed because of that situation.
I have found the entrance into motherhood really up and down. Some days we have good days, she feeds well, naps well, goes down well at night, we can manage to get out for a small walk or a small outing and I feel like we have archived something then the next day things can all go to shit and I feel like I haven’t got an absolute clue how to look after her or settle her. We seem to be going through a few days of cluster feeding where she’s really unsettled and doesn’t sleep then after a day or two it gets better then we go into it again. I don’t do well in general with lack of sleep, never have!, but I’m trying my best to push on. This heatwave is also NOT helping.
I don’t exactly know what I’m looking for out of this post, maybe some advice on how you coped, tips on how to be organised and make the days easier when you only have one pair of hands, some support and encouragement because at the moment, I just feel like the future is hopeless, I won’t be happy again and I just feel like I’ll be trapped in the house every day of my maternity leave just trying to survive.
Whilst I feel all these emotions, I’m sat here crying because of the guilt of feeling like this because I know I am SO lucky to have a supportive husband and to have a beautiful baby girl.
Thank you if you’ve made it this far 💕
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This was literally me when my husband was going back to work, even down to my mums dog!!
Its not great having your first week during this heatwave 😫 but honestly itll be fine. When he went back to work I downloaded huckleberry app and tracked absolutely everything just to feel in control of the days and so I knew where things were up to. I only did that for like 2 weeks and then felt like I didnt need to.
A tip I'd say is ask your husband to make you a big flask of tea/coffee before he leaves with a mug and you can just pour from it all morning without going cold. Get some food ready for the day ahead, even just loads of snacks at first and binge watch a good show while cluster feeding.
My little boy is 15 weeks today and honestly it gets so much better, there's still the down days like with everything and I still cry when its overwhelming but soo soo much less. Hang in there! ❤️ xx
First of, your doing a great job and this is completely normal!! I was feeling the exact same and when my husband was returning to work after 4 weeks off I was sure I was going to fail massively at being a mum! To be honest you just do it! It took me some time to realise that if the house work doesn’t get done it’s not the end of the world! As long as he’s fed, clean and warm (or as cool as possible in this heat) I’ve won the day!!
What helped me is having a caddy with everything I may need for the day with me downstairs! Nappy, wipes, x2 change of clothes, muslins ect and then things like the vit D drops, infacol because we needed that a lot along with snacks in case I’m trapped with feeds and naps for hours. I used to travel mug for my coffee which kept a coffee hot for hours and a big water bottle full of ice. That way if it turned out, I only moved to pee for two seconds throughout the day it was fine. I had everything I needed!
Totally agree with the advice posted so far! Also make yourself a packed lunch or ask your husband to do it before he goes to work. That way you can have a proper meal without having to put in much effort 😊
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