BD buying a house

So I’ve been with my man 2 years and some months we have a 4 month old baby, not married. Been living together for a year I’m a SAHM before my baby I had a great career that paid good. My man is looking into buying a house for us and his family (mom, sister, nephew, brother). He’s putting down 10k and the brother is putting down 10k. I mentioned wanting my name on the paperwork so I can’t just be kicked out on my ass no money, no where to go mind you I don’t have any family around me. My man was hesitant and started asking why like I’m a malicious person and will try to take the house from them. To end the conversation he told me I have to ask his family if thats ok. I don’t have bad intentions I just want to feel secured. Am I wrong or being a brat if I want separate and go back to work to be able to buy a house for my daughter and I? Something I can call my own and be comfortable in.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I would be more worried about living in a house with so many people. Its not just his house by the sound of it, it is a house he shares with family, who are also paying.
Therefore I assume its not his sole decision if you go on the paper work.
Secondly, I think i might be worried after just two years to put someone down on my house tbh. Especially because you're already talking about separating

Is he serious about being with you? Why arent u guys trying to get a house. You guys arnt married and this sounds like a family thing. You need to consider that he will be tied financially to his family indefinitely. Dont be surprised if u not going on the deed if u didnt contribute financially and dnt expect to pay the mortgage. It would be a nice gesture for sure… but if he were my son I wouldnt suggest he add you tbh. This isnt just his home… apparently its gonna be everybody home and he is gonna be the stepping stone.

By being a stay at home parent you're giving up your income to support him earning money therefore are contributing towards the mortgage in my eyes. I think you should stand your ground and get your name on there or do as you've suggested and go back to work. As a SAHM your value shouldn't be reduced and you shouldn't be excluded from assets because that does put your future at risk. There are ways to add someone to a mortgage that protects initial deposits/splits the value so I think it would be possible for you to be on there but only on your partner's portion if that makes sense- so he owns 25% you own 25% brother owns 50%. That way his brother is protected too. Don't let anyone tell you you're worth less because you're not working for money. You deserve to feel secure as well. Of course no-one wants to plan for a breakup but it's smart to consider what would happen in that situation.

in our community

Who’s wrong?

My husband and I go out with another couple. They start venting all their issues. My husband pulls the woman aside because he says my input is escalating the convo. (We had all been drinking).
So he ends up talking to her and I to the guy separately for like 3 hours both sides just airing all their grievances. We all reconvene and discuss some of the things said- maybe 30 mins?
In the car I ask husband “so what dis she say” He goes “who”. I’m now annoyed because who else???? So after I respond clearly irritated he then asks “when?” Clearly when you guys were away from the group! He’s mad at my responses and that I got annoyed. I’m mad he’s asking obvious questions and we fight. He ends up never answering. Next day we’re not talking. Who’s wrong.

I think my partner is taking coke again

So I went through an old jacket of his and found loads of empty bags in it. (I cleaned this coat only a few months ago)
I confronted him and he got very angry and shouted and said he hadn't touched any drugs for a very long time and how upset he was because hes trying so hard and ive thrown it all back in his face (he is currently having counseling for addiction)
What do i do?

Sex in a long term relationship

Is it normal for your partner to barley want to have sex with you, he’s 37 and I’m 27, I’ll admit I don’t make the first move purely because I did it once and he turned me down and it knocked my confidence a lot, we have it maybe once every month or even longer, I do sometimes get in my own head and think he’s watching po*n when I’m sleeping, He’s constantly on his phone till early hours in the morning, He does suffer with MH issues and his body confidence due to putting on abit of weight, it just makes me feel like I’m not his type and I catch him looking at other women when we’re out even doing shopping, it’s always blonde type women too as he has a things for blondes apparently.

Am i being ungrateful or is it fair enough,?

My husband's parents randomly turned up with a gazebo for our garden.. but I don't want a gazebo..

I know they are just trying to do something nice. But I also find them so interfering... They are nice people but they are very opinionated and not open to other opinions. They very much think their opinion and way of life is the 'right' way. They have always had a gazebo in their garden and I feel like they think everyone else should. But I just don't want one 😂

So now we have this gazebo that I don't want to put up but also don't want to be ungrateful!

Such a small problem I know haha. But there's been sooo many little things like it since we had our first child (14 months ago), and it grates!

What would you do?

What would you do if your neighbour had his lights on every single night and it would shine through your corridor, kitchen and toilet door all night every night? Am I okay for being irritated or should I accept this and not do anything about it? We just moved 2 weeks ago and I wanted to see if it's maybe temporary but its all night every night.

Am I forcing?

I’m a sahm mom I do everything around the house when partner is working. Today I made him take our 4y boy to the park since the sun came out, because it has been raining for the past 3 days so we didn’t go out at all. He worked from 9-1:30pm today since is a holiday. He’s tired because he went to bed late because he was playing call of duty even though he knows he’s not good at staying up late, I could tell he got mad but I didn’t care.
We have 3 parks around our house they’re like 2mins in car, maybe 10mins walking but he decided to take him to the one that’s like 10min in car idk why lol.

So right now I’m gonna get ready and head to target and Marshall’s to grab what I need.