Honest feelings about life after divorce.

Can anyone give me some honest feedback about their life post divorce? I’ve been struggling for years in my marriage and the thing that holds me back from leaving is uprooting my child (number 1.) but also leaving my home, which I love. (But I’m not ignorant to the fact that I can’t afford this house on my own.) and knowing I will most likely be living in an apartment for the foreseeable future. And life right now is SO expensive. How does anyone afford to live on their own with children??

Maybe if I hear some positive things it will help with the reality… I guess that’s what I’m thinking…

in our community

I just need to vent.

Im scared of my nonverbal autistic son. He has been having behavioral issues for awhile. He's hit me, grabbed my head and headbutted me a few occasions. Hes much bigger and stronger than me at 11 years old. This has been addressed with the appropriate therapists. However his therapists and school teachers have brought up their concerns multiple times in regards to when he hits puberty and his aggressive behavior increases. Theyre worried for my safety and ive been asked to look into seeing about part time group homes in case it gets to a point where I can no longer care for him on my own. Im just devastated. The entirety of his childhood ive had to grapple with the knowing that our lives will never be normal, ill never do the normal things that other moms get to do with their sons. But something kept me going.. and that something I was holding on to was that my baby boy will live with me forever. That was what got me through these dark days. Now I don't have that. Im lost on how to cope. My biggest comfort was knowing I have so much time. Now I have even less time than parents of nuerotypical kids. My heart hurts. And this time I'm not sure if it will ever stop.

FIL still can’t spell name correctly

My FIL was sitting with my 3 year old and writing out all the family members names and when I came through I noticed he’s spelled my name incorrectly. The thing is I’ve been with his son for 16 years now, they’ve been living with us for 2 years, also my name is literally 4 letters long!

At this point I’m starting to feel blatantly disrespected. Like I’ve had 2 of his grandchildren and he can’t be bothered to learn the correct spelling of my first name!

Not quite sure how to deal with it as he’s now teaching my daughter the incorrect name.

How would you feel? Comment what you would suggest I do.

I have vocalized my distaste to my husband over the matter but I’m not sure he’ll say anything.

Childcare cost

I'm due back to work in September. I have an okay job where I earn around £40k / year but with the cost of the childcare (even with the funding included), I will have nothing left at the end of the month. I'm planning to go back 4 days a week so my salary would reduce accordingly. I am in absolute shock as before I have saved around £600 / month. How can people even afford to live?? I am literally heartbroken..

Advice

Advice

My partner works away most weeks all week.

We have two toddlers and my 3 year old has autism and is hardly sleeping. I am also pregnant.

He works 9-5 away and has every evening to himself goes for dinner with work friends etc.

He’s alway saying I do nothing and I’m useless and lazy. I do everything for my children even spend most nights awake. Take my boys to pre school and sort all his health care appointments.

He’s come in today saying the house is a mess even though it’s just a pile of washing and the other mess is all his work paperwork and clothes he dumps. I always used to sort it all out time and time again but he gets the hump and messes everything up.

He never spends anytime with the children one on one maybe driving the around but never anything in the house alone .

I was starting to clean the kitchen tonight after I made everyone dinner and he was like our LB needs a shower due to having his hair cut and I said why don’t you do it then and he starting kicking off saying I’m lazy he’s been at work all day. It’s the first time I think he’s ever showered them both.

Then he stormed off with them in the car.

I’m so heartbroken, this happens all the time.

I just feel so useless like I’m doing nothing which he also tells everyone.

He’s constantly walking out and blocking me after he’s caused an argument.

I haven’t had a day off in three years and I don’t know what to do
He’s just said I don’t get off my fat lazy arse while, is this normal? I’m pregnant with his third child

Can anyone with a toddler and baby share some tips?

I'm struggling with managing evenings. How do you manage dinner, bathing both children, bedtime, cleaning the house etc? Im just finding it overwhelming at the moment especially as partner works shifts.

Nursery

Does anyone else notice a difference/change in their little one after going to nursery? She seemed to lose her confidence when she started, she used to go off and not look back. We've recently been on a family holiday and her confidence by the end of the week was really high, we normally go to classes and she was going off etc. she's been back to nursery this week and she's gone back in her shell again. She always says no nursery and counts down and doesn't seem to want to go (however she's fine when she goes in). Has anyone experienced anything similar? I'm really concerned she isn't enjoying nursery and that it's affecting her more than we realise 😫