Would you be angry ?
Do my partner is working for home 10-6 but still a little flexible. I lost my job so I’ve decided to stay with baby for a little bit (baby is 6 months) so he is working and I’m not annoying him with helping me or a baby during working time , then he goes to the gym, comes back at 8-9 pm we have dinner and that’s a sleeping time , so I’m basically alone with baby all day . I understand that he works and gym is like his personal space , but at the same time for me gym is not rest , and I want to stay at home sometimes in peace but he almost never takes Bebe for a walk etc
Anyway I suppose you got the main point , because I don’t want to be ungrateful because he is taking care of all bills etc
Childcare / Grandparents
To make things a bit briefer… my MIL drives me nuts since I became a mum, she’s very invasive, insists on looking after my baby (often wanting without me around), insists on having the baby sleeping over at hers to “give us a break” which I have explained more than 5 times now that I appreciate the gesture but i still think he’s to little to be apart from me for that long (also we’re EBF and I don’t pump which she knows)… anywho the days I’ve been dreading are coming and I need to plan my going back to work, sadly i have a work visa so due to my visa requirements I can only reduce my hours to 1 day a week which means baby will be in nursery for 3 or 4 days a week. My MIL wants to have him a full day plus a morning and I’m dreading it… mostly because I’m worried she’ll do all the things we are choosing not to do like unlimited telly and sweets, take him to places without consulting us… she has 2 more grandsons (7 and 3 years old) and she’s determined to have them together as much as possible… it would be sweet if I knew she’ll protect my son but already she always prioritizes the other 2 boys, the 3yo always takes my baby’s toys or shouts in his face to make him cry so naturally I don’t want this dynamic to happen when I’m not there to be there for my son if he needs me…
I don’t know honestly I find this very hard to navigate through, my partner does have my back and has the same stance I have but he says he feels defeated as he has grown up with this and feels like it’s pointless to try to discuss things with his mum. I think I’d prefer to have my baby as little time as possible with her and have him more in nursery, am I wrong? :(
Being forced to separate from my first son when he wants me
Hello, I have a 22 month old and have just recently become a second time mom with a second baby boy. Before our second arrived, I was very specific and particular, and explained to my husband that I wanted to protect some one-on-one time with my first son each day, even if it was 10 minutes, or me doing the bedtime, which I like doing.
My son has adjusted really well really quickly to having a little brother, but going through separation anxiety, which I believe is developmentally normal for his age. He just wants me at night, and I want to be there for him when he cries for me.
What I’m struggling with, is my MIL and husband tell me to go away when my son is with them and crying for me. I’m only around the corner and he knows I’m there, and I feel the need to reassure him and help calm him down when he’s super upset and wants me. I’m not trying to take over the task they’re doing with him, I just want to be there to let him know it’s ok but I just keep getting told to go away because they think me being present is unhelpful (which I disagree with).
My son has been super adaptable, especially when he isn’t forced to do something, but I feel like they keep forcing situations and separating me and him and won’t let me be present to help him transition to having me around less.
For some background, my husband travels for work for weeks at a time, and so I was doing everything - bath and bedtime everynight. Even whilst I was in my third trimester, I was doing everything, and I feel confident and capable of doing it still even with a newborn (I wear the newborn in a carrier).
Since my husband is home for the next few months whilst I’m on maternity leave, we thought we’d let him do more bed and bath times, so we transitioned my son by doing them together for a couple (so I was still present) then after 2 or 3 bath times, it was just my husband doing them. This slow and gradual transition worked really well, and he had no issue and didn’t cry for me.
Now my MIL is here helping, and wants to help by doing bath time (even though I’m happy and would rather do it) but rather than this slow transition, her and my husband tell me to go away because I’m “interfering and making it worse” which I disagree with. I know they’re just trying to help because they think I need someone to do bathtime in order to free myself with my newborn, but I keep trying to tell them I DONT need help with this, and if we are to make this change, that I’d prefer it to be done gradually rather than just cutting me off completely from my first son. I find it extremely distressing hearing my son distresssed, and I broke down today because they keep telling me to go away when I want to be there for him. Am I overreacting?
I keep expressing my wish that I want to be present when he’s crying for me, but they clearly have different parenting style to me and I’m not sure what to do
