Mum problems?!
Has anyone struggled with their own mum since having a baby? My mother and I have always been extremely close and still are but Iâm really struggling with our relationship since Iâve had my daughter.
My mother is extremely opinionated and is constantly telling me she would do this and wouldnât do that. From an outsider perspective you probably think thatâs great and a lot of the time it is but a lot of the time itâs unwanted and quite offensive advice. It feels like Iâm not being trusted to look after and raise my own baby and when I ask her to stop she always gets extremely rude and gives me the cold shoulder and makes sarcastic comments when I next ask for advice. I appreciate sheâs only trying to do whatâs best for the baby but thatâs what she thinks is best. She makes me so anxious about a lot of things, for example when Iâve mentioned putting my daughter in nursery as Iâm struggling with juggling everything and she makes comments like âoh I wouldnât⊠you see these storiesâ or when Iâve mentioned going out with friends for an hour and sheâs made comments like âyour daughter needs you, you shouldnât be going outâ to then be told âyou should go out you need a breakâ but when I do I get texts being told to come back.
My mother also helps out my with my daughter a couple of times a week whilst Iâm out at work, which again, Iâm very appreciative for but itâs never smooth sailing. Iâll get text messages saying âshe needs youâ, âyou need to come backâ. I always come running but Iâm made to feel bad for leaving which is just so much for already an anxious mum that suffers terribly with guilt. It just feels like my mother is always the victim and Iâm always so unreasonable? Sheâll give my daughter sugary snacks and if Iâm not happy about it sheâll make comments like âwell maybe find someone else to help you next timeâ or âright, I raised you okâ.
My friend said to be a couple of weeks ago, it feels like you have family but not community and that really hit home. My mum is happy to help when my daughter is giggly and jolly but as soon as sheâs tired or cranky it feels like the help disappears. Or Iâll be told âof course itâs okâ and then Iâm met with an attitude and comments like âwell I guess my plans are going out the window thenâ. Iâm always happy to make alternative arrangements but it feels like Iâm constantly getting conflicting messages. I fully respect that this is my daughter and sheâs my responsibility, however, I do feel like Iâm being made to feel like I should be grateful because itâs better than nothing.
Is it better than nothing, 100%
Am I extremely grateful, 100%
Am I made to feel bad constantly, 100%
Am I being faced with someone whoâs blowing hot and cold every day,100%
Am I the problem? Maybe?
I do sometimes feel as though my mum thinks my daughter is her baby and she does constantly tell me that baby wants Nan and has a special place for her. Again, sounds very innocent and normal until you realise these comments always come after a discussion where Iâve felt anxious about my bond with my daughter. My mother will say stuff like âsheâs so happy with meâ and âwell she might be grumpy with you but sheâs not grumpy with meâ.
I guess Iâm just asking advice if anyone else has experienced anything like this and if I am in fact the problem? I try and be conscious constantly of others opinions and feelings but I feel like Iâm getting nowhere. I donât want to ruin my relationship with my mother but I also want to be able to parent my baby the way I want to parent without judgement and comments that make me uncomfortable and anxious.
Also Iâm working full time and am a single parent.
Thank you
Help đ„Čđ„Čđ„Č
So, my girl woke at 6 am this morning, had her first nap at 8 am for 40 minutes, had her second nap at 11:40 am for 2 hours?! (Sheâs super grumpy and clingy recently, so I let her sleep incase it was her teeth or poorly) and now she wonât have her cat nap for bridge to bedtime. Her bedtime is around 7.30-8.30 pm.
I know this is probably because she had such a big nap but my parenting skills donât go this far đ, do I keep her up and start bedtime earlier and get her to bed for like 6.30-7 pm or keep trying the cat nap? My only worry is this wake window would be MASSIVE if I do đ sheâs 7 months in 3 days.
Thanks in advance đ„Čđ€Ł
3 month baby
My heart is broken, i got back to work wednesday thru sunday 6 pm to 6 am cause i need the money not cause i wanted and i think my baby is missing me
I left her at home with my mom
And when i get there at 6 am and my baby sees me she smile a lot, but she doesnt want to sleep in her bassinet, she start crying when i stop holding her for a bit, shes barely eating too, she just want to be with me and the only way she falls asleep is in my chest
I feel so guilty like a bad mom or sum
I think im not doing the right thing đ
