my baby daddy broke up with me whist he was at work, then got his dad to get some of his things.
he’s always on and off with me, he blames me for a lot of things and lacks accountability, everyone around him agrees he’s in the right, he’s doing the right thing because they know half a story they don’t see half the pain he’s caused me.
Anyway a few months ago he made a comment about me not working mid argument, he said I never take the family out, I never pay big expenses because im broke.
so I got a job, I’m super exited to start we spoke about how to improve our future. It’s night shifts so I would need his support as I have a 7 month old and four month old, I said id help him pay for a car, if he supported me he came over last night and told me we’d work on it after a day no contact, he told me he loves me and he old stop leaving me. I felt happy reassured that he’d change then this morning he left me. Now I can’t work as I can’t get the childcare because i can’t afford it. I feel so let down and screwed over.
I have been there though him having depression, no car, no money I stayed when I should have left, all the night he hurled mean insults, belittled my parenting, belittled me. made me feel bad for my sons behaviour (he struggles in social situations). I would have stayed with the that man til the day I died and put up with everything for the sake of our children and to be left like im nothing hurts. I take accountability for what I have done freshly postpartum but postpartum hard expecially after a c section.
He told me he wanted to focus on himself, his healing, live with his mum where he has next to no responsibilities.
I told him he can have our daughter in the week, he can struggle to have childcare, he can wonder how he’s going to cope, he can do everything he belittled me for. I was so exited for this job and I don’t understand why he would say he would be there for our family then leave me after, plan a future then leave me. I loved and respected this man but now all I see is a boy running to his mum, abandoning his responsibilities. he said he would always be there for my son, he’s also dropped him like he’s nothing.
i gave him all of me, i cooked I cleaned i looked after the children.
I kinda feel used to as we slept together, fixed it then he left me.
I need advice.
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Do you have family they can sleep over at night for your job?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he’s showing you how he feels about you. You don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve him. I think you should leave him. Figure out a custody situation, find a way to competent and share the load. Make him take accountability. If you have supportive family, reach out to them for support or financial help. But if you wanna try to make things work, try couples therapy. I know it’s difficult right now and emotions are huge. I know it’s a lot going on right now so first take some time to figure out what you wanna do. Then grieve the relationship if you need to. Then make some plans. You got this momma.