Me siento atrapada!! I feel trapped!!

Im sooo sick of all the threats, verbal and mental abuse from my husband! Not just to me but to my kids especially my older son (from a previous relationship)! Im a SAHM , he pays for it all. And makes me feel like shit every time he threatens to take or not give me things because HE paid for them!

We got into it 1st because yesterday we had a trip and the kids left things in the car. We were cleaning it out and hes like you guys always fucking leave things in here blah blah blah and telling me stuff because there was food crumbs in the front which were his crumbs! We only have the fam car which is the one im always in with the kids and his work truck. I sold my other car to chip in for a bigger vehicle. So that makes it mine too. Well he was like whats gunna end up happening is ima take away the keys so u wont drive it anymore! Pissed me off. That was 1.

Then he got mad because i told him that he expect me to stay shut and not tell him crap. He is always verbally abusing me and then when i decide to speak up he starts telling me that i need to shut up before he does this or that to me. He got hella mad when i told him that hes used to having his way and never having anyone talk back, then he cant take it. That hes dramatic and acts like the victim.

Ive been looking for night jobs but its hard finding something. We have 4 kids total 2 are still toddlers and babysitting is expensive! I want to just go far away with my kids but i CANT IM STUCK!!! i have nothing and no one close by! My body hurts from the stress he puts us through. I have no help with them either! Ughhh i just wanna scream and cry soo bad but i cant let my kids see me crumble! Idk what to do! And to top that off divorce is expensive!!

in our community

Fake love

I noticed that my husbands family often leaves him out of things…they never come out to visit, my husbands the one who always makes the drive to visit them (they live 4-5 hrs away), he reaches out to call them often. I’m noticing all these things and it’s making me dislike them. Most recently, on fb (this may sound childish, but just something I noticed) his older sister, posts all of the siblings and their family for their birthdays, milestones etc.. but leaves my husband out 🤔). I’m biting my tongue letting my husband know how I feel about it all, but I don’t want to cause any issues.

Boy moms do you feel this way?

I have only boys. The early years it was mainly me that did everything as they need mama a lot through the newborn toddler stage etc. it’s still mainly me but the past year I have noticed a big change now they are growing older and more mature and more male influenced.

Their dad is a lot more physically involved now as they’re getting older boys and doing a lot of boy stuff together. I spend 99% of my time being more like a ‘boy’ myself as I’m always doing boy stuff with the kids and generally as a family, from what shows/movies we watch, to days out, activities and sports it’s all boy related.

I already feel lonely as I don’t have friends etc and my kids are my world. When they’re having boy time with their dad only and I’m not involved I feel really lonely and upset and I’m feeling sad that this will only become worse. For example, they’re currently watching a tv show (boy stuff) and I always sit and watch with them (that way I’m still involved and bonding) but my husband asked me for some space so they can have boy time…

It’s hit me hard now I’m feeling sad, I don’t have ‘girl time’ because I don’t have daughters, I don’t have friends and my mom/sisters I see only here and there.

Do you boy moms feel this way? Did you notice a shift?

When dad has baby and you hear them cry, do you try to take over?

My partner tells me he can’t get him to settle down the way I do & I can see it frustrates him. So I instinctively want to reach for him and take care of him, but my partner says no so I back off.

Should I let dad handle it or should I intervene?

Is being good financially thx to my husband makes me wrong to complain ?

I have an almost 1y and a just 2y.
My husband works a lot he’s gone from 9:30am to 10pm. Just 2weeks ago, he was wfh. And now it just feel so much easier with him gone bc it’s a mouth less to feed so less cooking less cleaning, less drama with my 1st shouting at the door of the room for his dad to come. Also less stress about the noise.
So I realized, I’m just alone, he isn’t helping. More than that every morning before he leaves we spent a bit of time, and I feel like I fight everyday to make him respect our routine. I have to ask several times everything and I end up doing it all alone.
Our 2nd is difficult, she shout a lot for nothing, she’s a sensible baby I would say. It’s hard it’s overwhelming and my husband keeps saying I’m super wrong to not let her cry and make her learn. Well sometimes I do but it’s my last last option. She’s a baby who can only express herself with crying so yes I’m a « slave to her » but I’m just a mom doing the best I can
We argued, and I told my husband that I’m fed up with the critized of my parenting while I’m doing alone and I fucking feel so alone. I have no help zero. My husband doesn’t understand that doing a few dishes here a there isn’t helping.
Then he told me how bless I am and I should be as we live with the sea & swimming pool in front of our house, no financial worry and a cleaner coming 3x a week.
I do feel very very blessed but I just want to have a supporting partner who tells me how hard I try to do the best for my kids, and to listen to me. He took it as a personal attack that I told him he was not helping while he works a lot to give us this life. I just feel so alone and misunderstood but I hurted him

snack box ideas

my baby is 9 months old now but a brilliant eater!! his appetite is ENORMOUS so I bought a little snack box to take out and about with us but I'm at a loss as to what to put in it other than berries lol. what's everyone snacking on that's easily portable and not like really crazy messy??

Being payed below minimum wage

Is it illegal to be paid $13 an hour for work meetings when the minimum wage is $15.45 (in Tucson). I am a CNA. They use a point system for my patient visits and hourly for meetings. Please explain in comments