Boyfriend says he can’t trust me after cheating… I don’t want to give in to his demands

My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. I found out a few months ago that he’s been cheating for a year. I was completely blindsided and had no reason to suspect him. I agreed to stay and rebuild things, including my trust which has been completely damaged. I have been asking for more transparency and certain steps to help ease my anxiety (like location sharing, checking in when we arrive places, etc). He’s been doing a decent job at this so far, but I still have my doubts because he was so good at hiding it the first time, and his lies felt so natural. When he confronted me for being too hard on him, I shared this feeling, and he says he also feels insecure and untrusting of me, because he saw how easy it was to lie and hide another girlfriend from me for a year, and he knows I’m smarter than him so I could be doing the same and he’s just too dumb to catch on. He is demanding I change my phone number, delete my Snapchat, and cut off my male best friend, all of which I said no to. I use Snapchat to send photos of my kids to my college friends who now live overseas. I have had my phone number for over 15 years, and it tethered to authentication accounts within my professional life, as well as my business, and my male best friend has done nothing wrong, and my bf has admitted he doesn’t see him as a threat but feels this is “just what’s fair.” I personally feel like he’s just trying to assert some form of control back. I did remind him I wasn’t the one who cheated, but he says that since cheating occurred, it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, we both have a responsibility to restore each others trust and comfortability. Honestly, I feel like if I have to be punished for his actions and choices then I’m not interested in rebuilding. I still can’t see his phone, and I think as long as he changes his password daily, I’ll never fully trust him anyways.

in our community

Heatwave nursery

Are you sending your child to nursery this week?

Help me- heat/MIL

What are we doing with our babies in this heat 😭
Baby girl is only 19days old.
I have my mother in law here to help as my partner is now back travelling for work. But she’s wanting to go out and do things/shopping walking etc and I feel like it’s way too hot to take my baby outside, finding it hard to settle her unless we’re sat on the bed with the fan blowing and I’m also sweating like a pig even more so when breastfeeding her. Spitting up after her feeds. Pooing loads so need access to baby changing facilities wherever we go.

Also keep being asked if I need her to do anything but there is quite literally nothing for her to do.. absolutely love my MIL but I’m stuck

Verbally abusive fiance- I lost control.

I can’t believe I am writing this.
I have a fiance (together 14.5yrs, engaged 3yrs) and a 25 month old son who is my entire world.
Yesterday was Father’s Day, and despite the hard feelings that come with that day for me (my father died 3 years ago in my arms) I made the day as special as I could for my fiance. I had some somber moments, we went to his grave in the evening but for the most part I was upbeat. I gave my fiance his gift and card, I had our toddler for the morning so my fiance could see his dad, have some time to himself and enjoy a bit of peace and rest.
After a big family get together in the afternoon, we went home, got our son ready for bed and that was when everything changed.
My son had boogers coming out his nose, big ones, and they were scaring him because they were going in his mouth. My fiancé got grossed out and was being silly about wiping boogers. So I took the tissue out his hand and said this is how you do it.
My fiancé LASHED OUT at me while I was holding our son. He was in my face, pointing at my face and very scarily growled through his teeth saying ‘don’t ever treat me like that’, it escalated and he became louder and much scarier and intimidating. I tried to remain calm but I had enough, I told him to get the f*ck out and stop doing that in front of our son because it was really scaring him.
He left the room. I had twenty seconds to decide what to do. I set my son down with his toys in his room, I closed the door a little and followed my fiance into our bedroom. I didn’t want my son to think that behaviour was ok and I needed to stick up for myself.
I gave back to him what he did to me. Along the lines of don’t you ever do that in front of our son again, he needs to control himself and he’s a piece of sh*t for doing it. He got in my face again to intimidate me, he was pushing me with his body and I was terrified, felt like he wasn’t far off hurting me, so I slapped his face. As soon as I did that he shoved me onto the wall and was in my face again. I’ve never been so scared.
Bear in mind, we have been trying for a baby and are in the two week wait period. There’s a possibility I could be pregnant.
I called my mum, told her I was scared. She said not much I can do but both calm down. He then told me I was dead to him.
I took my son off his dad, sat back in his rocking chair and got him to sleep.
That’s when I saw my fiance on the ring doorbell with his bags and a pillow, leaving. No word on where he’s going.
He eventually came back 11pm. I apologised profusely for slapping and I still am truly sorry, I lost control for a millisecond and acted out of self defence. But he could not take any accountability for his part. He’s talking about leaving me. He won’t talk.
I’m torn because our relationship revolves around him. I tend to be the one taking accountability, even for things I didn’t really do a lot of the time. He thinks very very highly of himself and never admits wrong doings. When he came home he was speaking like a psychopath, like the talented Mr Ripley and it was as if he were acting in a soap opera, was so strange. I didn’t recognise that man.
He’s a master manipulator and gaslighter. He said I was remembering wrong.
I want to be a family unit, if my fiance takes some accountability for his part. But at the same time I worry about what else will happen to me and my son.

6-year-old has a LYING Problem 🤥

Posting on here seeking advice from other moms that have dealt with children that lie. If you have a “perfect” child that has never lied, no offense, but your advice probably won’t help in this situation. I’m honestly troubled by this because as a mother of 4, only 1 of mine lies and lies often. It’ll be over the simplest of things to even lie about! For instance, this morning she woke up before me and she went downstairs, found her tablet and was playing on it. I came downstairs and asked if she had brushed her teeth.. she immediately says “Yes” and follows it up with “But it was a LONG time ago and my teeth probably stink by now”. Suspicious. So I asked her to come up close so I can double check… complete junk mouth to reveal that she indeed never brushed her teeth this morning. She then admitted to lying and I sent her to brush her teeth.

But I’m at my wits in. I’ve attempted talking to her, reasoning, time outs, and corporal punishment (I’ll admit that she’s the main one that ends up getting a whooping for numerous offenses). Has anyone ever dealt with such a defiant and strong-headed child? She’s so loving and usually she listens and dones well. But she is also the one that gets the MOST upset and MOST attitude when she does not get her way or we ask her to do something she didn’t want to do in the moment.

UK weather

Am I the only one that thinks Nursery/ school closures are ridiculous and over the top. So now we cant even hope for hot weather as everything shuts down just like during winter. The children are probably cooler at school than most homes as most homes will be hotter! I hope my employer will understand why I now cant come in 😥

New to Coparenting

I need some advice, I’m tryna go about this the right way but I feel like I actually have no power. Bd has my 1yo from monday night to thursday night, this is the second week of this and hes saying he wants her til friday night instead. Bro I dont wanna give her to him for 4 nights and only have her for 3 myself. Idk what it is but i dont want him to have the majority. Ive told him no I’ll pick her up on thursday but hes pushing back, what even are the next steps if this cant be resolved between us?