Nighttime anxiety and sleeping

Is anyone else absolutely petrified to actually get in bed close your eyes and allow yourself to fall asleep even though you know deep down your baby is safe sleeping in their crib next to you and their cry would wake you up. My baby is 5 days old tomorrow and she is a very peaceful baby which I am so lucky to be able to say (obviously I’m aware this could change) but I’m scared she won’t cry enough to wake me up when she needs me or she’ll spit up in her sleep and I’m not awake to make sure she’s okay. Even the thought of her lying in a crib alone makes me a little bit sad for some reason but I would never cosleep as that terrifies me more than anything. I just get scared by the time 8 o’clock rolls around as I know another night is ahead of me. She seems to be so sleepy all the time and she’s very quiet which makes me anxious as to if she is 100% okay once I close my eyes and fall asleep. Any advice or anyone just feeling the same way? I also am feeling so anxious about what to dress her in to sleep as I don’t want her getting too hot while I’m asleep and not fully watching her like I am in the day.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I think for many mums this is normal, and sometimes doesnt go away. The 'nighttime scaries' are very common freshly postpartum. I had them until about 3 months. You will wake up, in fact you might find yourself waking up about 2 min before she does, not sure if its mums instinct. But yes i felt the same. I just think with time the anxiety will fade. Your rest is important too 🩷

I actually stayed awake, all night for...I can't remember how long. I had my sweets, my shows or books and I didnt even try to sleep for a period of time. It can't have been more than a couple of weeks as I wouldn't sleep for any more than a couple of hours in the morning.
I can't remember what changed...I think the more I allowed myself to sleep and it was fine, the more I got used to it.

My baby was born last May and I had horrendous anxiety over night. I actually kept my light on when I first brought her home and set alarms so I could check on her. Being anxious is normal but If these feelings don't ease speak to your health visitor I ended up having PPA and had therapy which helped enormously.

Sadly I still have night time scaries and my little one is 18 months, he’s never slept through and wakes 2-7 times a night 🤦🏻‍♀️🥴

This is completely normal. I had it for at least a month and I still get it a bit now if I’m alone, and my husband is at work or I’m putting the baby to bed alone obviously if your anxiety increases and you feel concerned, please talk to your health visitor or Doctor, but the sundown scaries are a very real and common thing.

I get very worried at the moment because it's so warm. I was very worried when it was during the hottest days this week, but my baby was actually fine. I had him in just a nappy with a fan on in the room. In terms of waking up, I wake up as soon as he starts making noise and sucking on his hands so way before he would get to a point of crying. I have woken in a panic at times wandering how long he had been fussing before I woke up on those nights I have been particularly exhausted, but I have a sleep app running which records overnight sounds and everyone I have actually woken instantly as soon as he started making noise. He has also started sleeping through the night but the first few nights he did this, I still woke up two/three times in the night to feed him as my body was just used to doing that. Good luck and I hope the anxiety settles a bit for you! Though we will always worry about our babies because we love them so much 😉

in our community

You are NOT the father!

When I found out I was pregnant, I told the person I was certain about him being the father; he was not going to be involved he said, and went ghost. Blocked me and all. I filed CP.

DNA test came back , not the father. Omg. I’m so embarrassed. HONESTLY SHOCKED.

So now… I know who my child’s bio father is. There was one other person I was with during the window. I told him. He took it well.

I spent months holding on to pain bitterness and anxiety about that person I thought was my baby’s dad.
Has anyone else experienced anything dramatic like this?

Even though it feels like a weight is lifted, I feel ashamed and embarrassed at the same time. I’ve never gotten around , and this feels like a suburban Maury Povich episode.

Partner

Hi my partner has postpartum depression. I have been fine this time around & he’s developed it quite bad . To the point his mental health is rubbing on mine daily now . He’s been told by me , go doctors get help etc. I will even sit in the appointment with him , we’ve even spoke to HV & she reckons his mental health is low so she’s recommended several things to help . How do I cope with it myself? Because I’m finding myself struggling with his mood swings on a daily basis to the point I do not even wanna be in the same household anymore . I get mental health issues, when I met him mine were severe & I got the help I needed . Now I find myself going backwards due to this . Any advice?

5 month old not sleeping with Daddy

My partner use to work evenings until our LB was 2 months. Their relationship wasnt very strong and baby would always cry with him. Baby is now 5 months in a few days and for about a month now he will not fall asleep with Dad.

We take turns every night and we have had a very strict routine which we have stuck by since he was a month old. One will bath and dress him and the other will feed him a bottle and rock him to sleep.

He goes down perfectly fine with me (mum) and I dont even have to pay attention to him, I just give him a bottle and 9/10 he will fall asleep with the bottle or once finished will fall asleep within 10 minutes. All I have to do is hold him.

Dad does the same thing and even uses a dummy and sometimes we find it use to help. Baby is fine but once bottle in finished he doesnt go to sleep and when hes being fed his eyes are wide open. My partner says he usually looks at the door whilst he's crying. He rocks him, tries to soothe him and does more than what I do. It would take him well over an hour to put baby to sleep.

Now baby will not fall asleep with him and I have to put him to sleep every night.

Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks x

Upset

Am so upset some girl call me a lier I had a baby just born and it was my depression group and why people has to be mean

Controversial buttttt…here we gooooo

Parents who give big speeches about how awful formula is and breastmilk is the only good option and then feed their 7m olds jars or pouches are contradicting themselves. Processed shit just full of apple at this point.

Weaning is introducing solids, teaching your baby how to eat not just feeding them something other than milk. The majority of babies nutrition is coming from milk at this age.

Listen, I’m all for an easy option from time to time and I know full BLW is scary. But I promise steaming some plain veggies and mashing it up is easy and if you can pre make whatever you want to feed them it’s cheaper and does not take long.

I think the fact the NHS have now changed from the term weaning to saying introduce solids emphasis my point they the aim isn’t to get them off milk and onto jars or pouches of food at the age. It’s to teach them HOW to eat.

Breastfeeding

Hi ladies

I’ve been breastfeeding for 7 weeks, can I ask is anyone else feeling as though breastfeeding is totally consuming their life? Is that normal? I feel like feeding is literally all I do and sometimes I go through whole day and think I’ve not stopped feeding 🙈 I am becoming envious of my friends who bottle feed their babies which seems to give them good 3-4 hour stints between feeds.

Don’t get me wrong I’m so grateful to do it, and part of me loves it, but I have those days were I think omg is this normal ??

Any advice / tips or other experiences so welcome x x