Any tips for an anxious toddler?

Hi mamas,
I need some advice about my little girl. She's 22 months old and is a real character most of the time. She's never been a chilled baby from the day she was born and definitely has a bit of a bossy boots personality, especially with me. It seems to come out most when she's anxious about me leaving the room or when I'm not giving her my full attention, particularly when we're at home.

For example, if I'm trying to do jobs around the house, she'll follow me around crying and throwing herself on the floor. This can be something as simple as making her lunch. She can see me the whole time, and I always make sure she has everything she needs, toys, books, etc. So she can hopefully play while I get on with what I need to do.

Sometimes it's so bad that I've started asking my husband (who works from home) to sit with her while I pack her nappy bag or get the pram ready so she stays calm. I'm not talking about doing a full house clean, just really small, everyday tasks.
I worry that I'm pandering to her anxiety by doing this, but at the same time I'm just trying to keep the peace so we can get out of the door without everything turning into a meltdown.
I've also found myself relying on the TV quite a lot, which I'm not happy about. We only watch low-stimulation programmes, but the TV is often on for most of the time we're indoors because it's one of the only things that keeps her settled.

Outside the house you couldn’t find a more confident, cheerful, cheeky monkey. She runs circles around me in for an entirely different reason and is outwardly confident.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Is this just a phase, or is there anything I can do to help her become a bit more independent and comfortable when I'm busy for a few minutes? I'd really appreciate any advice or reassurance.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

My LB is a similar age and he is going through similar. I think its quiet common. The only way I can get things done is putting tele on for a bit. I used to feel guilty about it, but im over it now. At the end of the day the way I see it is in these moments it's about surviving, and if the TV will help keep your LO calm just whilst you get sorted do it. X

Avatar

Theres a few things you can do. You can start including her in the task and have her as your little helper. So if you are doing the dishes, maybe give her a little wash bowl next to you and a few things to wash such as her own play kitchen plates etc or if cooking, get her to physically help you like preparing or turning the oven on etc or just talking her through it.
Or.. you can use the RAID approach. This means not reacting to Red (negative) behaviours but being overly encouraging and reinforcing of Green (positive) behaviours. So dont react to her tantrum but instead notice the time she didnt do it and offer praise for playing on her own while mummy did her jobs. If she gets a reaction she will continue the behaviour so try only to react to the behaviour you want. ❤️

Avatar

It’s a tough phase - can you get her involved in the jobs? Gives her things to hold/fetch for you?
I’m not anti screen time in general but using it to calm her down is not going to teach her any self regulation, and is going to cause you further problems down the line.
As much as it sucks, you might just have to ride out the crying, and stop putting the tv on when she insists.
Lots of preparing her by telling her in 5 mins we’re going to do this, you’re going to have to do xyz to get ready to go out, and she can help or play. And then just sticking with it, it’s time for mummy to get this ready so we can go out, let’s sort it out. Acknowledge she’s upset and push through. Meltdowns are very normal for this age.
Can you pack the nappy bag/have the pram ready to go out when she’s napping/in bed at night, or at least do as much of it as possible so it’s a bit easier and quicker for you to get out?

Avatar

Going through the same. Hoping its a phase too. I have a tall toddler stand thing that he can stand up on and play on the kitchen side /pretend to cook/plays with the microwave. I read somewhere that they want to be included rather than distracted, which makes sense I guess but hard in theory.
Ive tried to include him in helping me chop things or stir things etc but it takes forever long and I dony have much patience haha
Im also going through a phase of him waking in the night for aaages.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

3 year old SD with smegma build up

So, we’re not sure what to do in this situation because my 3 year old SD just got dropped off to us and while getting her ready for bed her father had to wipe her legs down as she had pen all over her legs and he noticed that her bits had quite a lot of white build up so my partner called me over and asked me for my opinion but we’re not sure what to do with the information.

Her father doesn’t know what to do as he feels her bio mum should know but Her bio mum can get very confrontational and agitated very quickly and he doesn’t know how to approach it or if he should?

I know it’s normal for a toddler to get it but a very small amount and looking at it it wasn’t a small amount it was a thick clump going down both sides and over the hood. So it wasn’t/couldn’t be a build up of that volume from her last bath 2 days ago on Wednesday

We have cleared it extremely gently with a warm soft wash cloth which is safe to do, but we don’t know what to do next in terms of on the adult side of things?

Avatar

4

Leaving my husband

How do I leave my husband as a sahm? I have no family near me so I really have no support. No job or money. I have nothing. I’m so unhappy in my marriage. I communicate my feelings and nothing ever changes. Any advice or tips on how to get out of this?

Avatar

7

Do your potty trained toddler boy sit down to pee?

My husband says we should teach him to pee standing up, but he's gotten so used to peeing sitting down idk how to even try it standing.

I once tried to help him do an emergency pee outside 🫣 and it didn't end well.

Is it worth teaching him now (he's newly 3) or is it something that bigger kids will just kinda learn as they go?

Avatar

25

Do you thank your husband for doing tasks you would’ve had to do?

Do you say thank you when he does something that you think he should’ve just done but you had to ask him to do? Lately I’ve been trying to be kinder about the way I communicate to my husband and a big thing has been me just trying to ask him to do things instead of being upset and snapping about having to do them or just telling him to do it. I feel torn because I don’t get thanked for doing everything else, but I know he likes the acknowledgment and it makes me seem nicer in his eyes but I also feel like I’m parenting him too when I have to ask him to do things and even tho I am thankful he did it, I don’t want to have to ask. He’s the type of guy that wants me to just make him a list of things to do but I just feel like he’s acting like a child when I do. I don’t want to micro manage him but I think that’s what he wants, even tho he wants to do everything on his schedule, I have to still tell him what to do. Part of me feels like I’m enabling bad habits but is this common in relationships? Newly married and new parents so we are still figuring out things together.

Avatar

8

Am I wrong?

BD has taken our 7 month old away for 2 nights and 3 days so that he can spend time with his family.
Baby has never been away from me for longer than 4 hours.
I asked if they could go for 1 long day rather than that lomg as it seemed excessive but once again there's never any compromise.

Avatar

6

Idk if I’m exaggerating

I’ve always loved the holidays!
When I met my partner he didn’t care about holidays and decorations. Since we moved in together 6 years ago he started loving it which I’m glad he does now. But this years he’s getting on my nerves about the holidays. We moved to smaller place, we don’t have storage like the previous apartment. He’s been wanting to decorate since the beginning of the month, I tell him to wait for summer to be almost over and he says I suck. He’s been buying so many decoration and changing almost everything around the apartment, he came home with 3 packages today and bought a cover for our electric stove (yes is pretty, but all I’m thinking about is I will have more stuffs to clean). Tbh I feel like he’s killing the vibe for me, I don’t feel excited about decorating when he’s pressuring and buying lots of stuffs. If I tell him how I feel he’ll get mad, say I suck and say I’m killing the vibe for him so I just stay quiet.

Avatar

3

Read more on Peanut