Partner getting angry over baby not settling
My baby is 12 weeks old and has always been a good sleeper, we’ve never really had many issues with her sleep. But this morning she has been so fussy and crying all morning from 3am till now (7am) but she’s finally settled. I’m 99% sure she has trapped wind or just has a sore tummy from not pooping for about 24hrs now. ANYWAYS. At about 4:30am my partner woke up and tried to settle her, obviously it didn’t work, he then had the nerve to shout at the baby telling her to “sort herself out”. I had to try my hardest not to snap but I told him to not dare talk to her like that as it’s not her fault she’s upset, my girl loves her sleep and I know that’s what she’d rather be doing than screaming her head off. The extra annoying part is I have never woken him up for help through the night when she’s fussy, I’m always in another room with her until I know she’s definitely settled, he always tells me before he goes to bed “wake me up if you need me” but I never do, and now I guess I know why.
It’s just annoyed me how I deal with her whenever she’s upset 24/7, he’s at work 6am-4/5pm all week and even weekends some days, not to mention the sports he does 3 days a week and the times his friends ask him to go out. The times he does see her she’s happy. He hasn’t had her 1:1 since she was about 6 weeks old if not earlier than that. Everytime I offer him to feed her a bottle of expressed milk he has an excuse, whenever I try to get him to even just spend time with her he has an excuse. But because he doesn’t spend enough time with her he doesn’t recognise her different cues for what she needs and then he gets frustrated when he can’t settle her. It’s a vicious cycle.
But the short of the rant is, I’m so angry that he had the nerve to shout at the baby for crying when he’d only been awake 30 minutes and she was clearly in some kind of pain. Instead of trying to be her comfort person and her safe space he decided no, I’ll shout at her, which in turn scared her and upset her more.
I’ve never been so angry. How would anyone else approach this situation?