MIL has fell out with me

My MIL has fell out with me because I expressed concern about her giving my recently turned 5 month old ice cold filtered water out of a glass (no sterilisation) - behind my back despite me politely telling her beforehand that he’d never had water before and I’d prefer for her not to give it to him yet. (For context I walked in on her doing it btw so I saw it first hand and was absolutely shocked). She yelled in my face, completely snapped at me, told me she’ll never do anything for me again, was sarcastic about her changing his nappy and said she hopes I don’t have a problem with that either. I remained calm during the whole exchange despite her giving me evil stares and rolling her eyes multiple times and just being rude. She stormed off and has refused to speak to me since. I sent her a message the morning after to check if she’s ok and that I’d love to restore our relationship but she’s ignored it (not like her as she usually responds immediately). My husband is abroad atm so he’s not around to mediate. I’m really keen to repair this and get back to normal but I’m not sure what else to do at this point.

Anyone have any advice or tips?

in our community

Who’s wrong?

Me and my partner went to stake and shake to share a burger for a small snack we went to go pick up his daughter and my son from his brothers house my partner asked me I’m going to give my half to my daughter I’m like okay whatever he goes and takes the burger and told her to eat it I got bothered because we were literally at stake and shake he could’ve just got her a whole meal knowing she hasn’t ate yet I told him you would’ve literally bought her a meal he takes away the meal and throws the food at me and told me not to ever say that again if her child is hungry she can have the food she comes first like why get me excited about the burger to give it to his daughter. I’m so fed up and I’m very upset.

Husbands/ partners going out

This is something I’ve struggled with for years!! My husband will go out most / if not every weekend! And he doesn’t see anything wrong in it as he works hard all week, so wants to have a few drinks at the weekend but I hate it and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Am I being dramatic?

Am I a bad parent?

I have a 5 year old who gets into EVERYTHING. She knows the difference between wrong and right and I’ve been trying for so long to help her and get her behavior back on track. My bf doesn’t help much when it comes to discipline he lets her get away with shit and I’ve told him he needs to be a better authority because she thinks she can do whatever she wants.

So today, she did a number of things:

1. Pushed her 1 year old brother on the floor
2. Continuously ignored when we told her to sit down and eat and kept getting up
3. Gave her brother a dirty water bottle
4. Put a water stopper in the toilet and then flushed it and stopped it up
5. While in the shower, I told her to wash herself (she knows how she’s been doing it since she was 4) and instead she refused and wasted soap and just rung her towel out instead of washing herself AND THEN lied about washing herself.
6. Took my phone charger and lost the port then blamed it on her brother

We have to go to my nephews birthday party and I told her if she’s good today we can go. Am I a bad parent if I leave her at home with her father tomorrow? I have given her so many chances to do the right thing today and she just took advantage of my kindness. And we do discipline her (time-out, no toys, no tv) but she will just go and find something else to do to get into trouble. Thoughts?

Childcare GOV account

Help please😅 I’ve had a message in my childcare account to send 3 months worth of payslips so they can check if I’m still eligible for the free childcare. Do they mean my payslips? (I’m on maternity and not earning any money) or my partners pay slips?! Or both?🤣
I’m so confused!

Childcare entitlement

I am aware this is a very lucky position to be in, so please don’t think I’m complaining, just trying to navigate!!

My husband is starting a job at some point in the next couple of months tbc where his salary will be just over 100,000. We are hoping to up his pension contributions slightly so that we are entitled to the 30 hours, as otherwise my salary becomes completely redundant/we will be paying more in childcare than I earn. He is starting this job after having to leave his previous role which ended in March.

How will our eligibility be assessed when a) he has been unemployed for the past 3/4 months
b) he is going to adjust his salary but obviously hasn’t yet

Is it done per tax year, calendar year, is there anyone I can talk to, like a helpline etc?

I am a teacher, so my daughter needs childcare from Sept 2026.

Grateful for any help xxxx

Am I the asshole?

**Am I the asshole?**

I am just so angry and frustrated right now, and I genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable.

My husband promised me the world while he was away for work. He kept saying things like, *"Take all the time you need. I owe you so much."* But since he's been home, nothing has really changed. The only thing I've managed to do for myself was get a haircut that I'd already booked before he left. He says all the right things, but when it comes to actually making my needs a priority, it rarely happens.

At the start of this year, I finally started an exercise class—something I'd wanted to do for ages. I even take our child with me, so it's not really "me time," but it's something that helps me. He told me he was proud of me for making a positive change and that he'd support me however I needed. Now our child's appointments have been scheduled on the same morning as my class and, without any discussion, it's just assumed I'll take our child because it's my day off.

I've also asked him so many times that the next time our child is sick, could he please take the time off because I've completely run out of personal leave. Every time he agrees. Then our child gets sick and suddenly it's, "I'm really busy at work," or, "I've got important deadlines." So I end up taking the leave anyway.

I think this is hitting me even harder because we just got back from a family trip. I was already feeling overwhelmed and told him I needed help. Instead, he disappeared for half a day to catch up with a friend without telling me when he'd be back, leaving me to manage everything. When I got upset, he said my family should have helped more instead.

I'm exhausted from being the one who coordinates all of our child's therapies, specialist appointments, paperwork, emails and scheduling. It's just assumed I'll organise it all. If something gets missed, it's somehow a huge issue. He says he'll help more, but unless I remind him repeatedly, it doesn't happen. Then I end up feeling like the nag.

Because I only work part-time, I constantly question whether I'm allowed to expect more from him, even though managing our child's additional needs feels like another full-time job.

Today's a perfect example. He suggested making gingerbread with our child after nap time. Sounds lovely—but who had to think ahead, make the dough earlier in the day and put it in the fridge to rest? Me. It feels like he sees the fun activity while I carry all the invisible planning that makes it possible.

Then after our child went to sleep, I said I had a headache and needed to lie down. Ten minutes later he came in and asked what he should meal prep.

We'd already planned the meals and done the grocery shopping together. I just couldn't understand why I still had to use my brain to make another decision after I'd literally said I was burnt out.

I lost it.

His response was that he asks because I've made him feel insecure—that if he doesn't check with me first, he'll do it wrong and I'll be unhappy.

And that's the part that's making me question myself.

Have I contributed to this? Am I too controlling? Have I corrected him so often over the years that he's lost confidence to just make decisions himself? Or is this an example of me carrying the mental load because it's easier if I just keep doing it?

I don't expect perfection. I don't need everything done exactly my way. I just want a partner who notices what needs doing, thinks beyond the obvious, follows through on what they say they'll do, and shares the mental load without me having to project manage every task.

Am I expecting too much, or am I just completely burnt out?