I don’t feel seen 🫠

Hey! I don’t know what I’m wanting to get out of posting this but I just maybe don’t want to feel like the only one! I’ve been on mat leave since December, baby born in January. At the beginning my husband was so good with me and the baby etc. as time as gone on I just feel like all he sees is how much he is supporting us and 100% he is, he goes to work everyday and works long hours etc. he is supporting us financially and couldn’t ask for more in that aspect as I’m really not greedy.

But I feel like now - I do everything. Cooking (90%), cleaning, washing clothes, keeping up with the house maintenance jobs etc. and I sort everything for the baby, don’t get me wrong he does bits and bobs for the baby but I’d say compared to me it’s 80/20. I just don’t feel like he cares or sees how much I do. For example we’ve just come back from being away and I’ve done anything, washed all clothes and sorted everything so it’s back to normal and he’s sat there on his phone the whole time. I asked him to nip to the shop and he said “well I bought this and that and drove us to holiday and back” I just feel like he thinks he’s so hard done by but I don’t ever get a chance to just sit and chill. Right now the baby is napping and I’ve chose to sit in the garden even though there’s chores to do; just to have some time! Sorry this is really long but does anyone relate? Xx

in our community

Childcare entitlement

I am aware this is a very lucky position to be in, so please don’t think I’m complaining, just trying to navigate!!

My husband is starting a job at some point in the next couple of months tbc where his salary will be just over 100,000. We are hoping to up his pension contributions slightly so that we are entitled to the 30 hours, as otherwise my salary becomes completely redundant/we will be paying more in childcare than I earn. He is starting this job after having to leave his previous role which ended in March.

How will our eligibility be assessed when a) he has been unemployed for the past 3/4 months
b) he is going to adjust his salary but obviously hasn’t yet

Is it done per tax year, calendar year, is there anyone I can talk to, like a helpline etc?

I am a teacher, so my daughter needs childcare from Sept 2026.

Grateful for any help xxxx

Childcare GOV account

Help please😅 I’ve had a message in my childcare account to send 3 months worth of payslips so they can check if I’m still eligible for the free childcare. Do they mean my payslips? (I’m on maternity and not earning any money) or my partners pay slips?! Or both?🤣
I’m so confused!

I can’t watched frozen or moanna anymore

I’m not strict about the tv being on but I am strict with what’s on the tv.

My 2 year old daughter loves frozen and moanna but I can’t do them anymore, I think I know all the words and they annoy the hell out of me.

Any other suggestions of nice Disney film that maybe aren’t obvious but suit a young toddler? She still plays while the tv is on, it’s more for when I’m cooking breakfast and trying to get organised.

Am I a bad parent?

I have a 5 year old who gets into EVERYTHING. She knows the difference between wrong and right and I’ve been trying for so long to help her and get her behavior back on track. My bf doesn’t help much when it comes to discipline he lets her get away with shit and I’ve told him he needs to be a better authority because she thinks she can do whatever she wants.

So today, she did a number of things:

1. Pushed her 1 year old brother on the floor
2. Continuously ignored when we told her to sit down and eat and kept getting up
3. Gave her brother a dirty water bottle
4. Put a water stopper in the toilet and then flushed it and stopped it up
5. While in the shower, I told her to wash herself (she knows how she’s been doing it since she was 4) and instead she refused and wasted soap and just rung her towel out instead of washing herself AND THEN lied about washing herself.
6. Took my phone charger and lost the port then blamed it on her brother

We have to go to my nephews birthday party and I told her if she’s good today we can go. Am I a bad parent if I leave her at home with her father tomorrow? I have given her so many chances to do the right thing today and she just took advantage of my kindness. And we do discipline her (time-out, no toys, no tv) but she will just go and find something else to do to get into trouble. Thoughts?

Who should get up on weekends

Please read first:
Together they have a 6 week old, a 2 year old and a 3.5 year old. He also has a nonverbal child, 14 years old who's with us on weekends.
He works, she's on maternity leave with no pay.
She gets up Monday to Friday to get toddlers dressed, fed and off to daycare while he gets ready for work then he drops them to daycare on the way there.
While he's at work, she does the laundry, any shopping, catches up on sleep & looks after baby.
She collects them from daycare in the afternoon and is alone with them all for a few hours until he gets home.
When he gets home, one of them starts dinner, sometimes him, sometimes her.
After dinner she cleans up while he puts the kids to bed (and bath if it's bath night).
This is also when the baby needs most feeding, so sometimes not all the cleaning gets done by the time the kids are in bed. Sometimes he helps finish the cleaning. Sometimes he smokes instead.

On weekends when his son is with us, he sleeps in until the afternoon. The toddlers wake sometimes as early as 6am, but usually 7am. Whoever gets up just feeds them breakfast and sticks on some TV to occupy them until the other is up. All the cleaning was done the night before so it's literally just supervision parenting.
The baby is breastfed and sleeps from 8pm until 10am only waking for feeding through the night.

Oh, and he hates mornings.

Dramatic husband anyone?

I've been doing night feeds (luckily only one) for the past 2 months. Last night I woke my husband up to do it, i made the bottle & got the changing stuff out aswell. So he fed the baby & he was so LOUD in everything he did lol I try be as quiet as possible. So I was already awake but thought NO YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT. He then put the baby back in bed and I said did you change her nappy and he said "oh no sorry i thought you did it."

Anyway, this morning hes so tired cos he couldnt fall back to sleep so hes been awake since 4am. He has work today and he has told me about 5000 times how tired he is. I said yeah imagine being that tired & looking after 2 kids under 2 all day - your works chill compared to this 😂. Please dont ever get it twisted that going to work tired is harder than looking after 2 kids tired.

I don't think I'm ever gonna hear the end of how tired he is and I CANT stop laughing at him. He's laid on the sofa like he's in a coma, meanwhile I've fed & changed both kids, washed & sterilised bottles & put a load of washing on.

I love how dramatic men are I really really do. I actually cannot stop laughing at him cos hes acting like hes just fought in a war 🤣🤣 He wasnt this bad after the first but fuck me what a drama queen. Welcome to parenthood brother 😂😂😂😂😂😂