is smth wrong w me

Maybe there's a relative you could sign over your rights to that would be happy to have him as their own? This isn't fair to your son whatsoever.

Sometimes it can be depression, not meeting your needs and so much more! Your child is definitely not the issue. Having a child is tough but also the greatest experience!

I would talk to your doctor about PPD. it comes out in many different ways, including feeling disconnected from your baby. you are a mother though at the end of the day and this is a decision that was made for him so, understand that he doesn’t know anything more than love and connection, yearning, for his mom

Wtf these comments are wild! What a bold thing to jump to! What happened to women supporting women, acknowledging that motherhood is fucking hard enough when you’re not doing it alone.

This sounds like a cry for help, not a desire to give up. Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings. What kind of support system do you have? I highly encourage you to reach out to a medical professional, maybe getting on medication and more support would help how you’re feeling.

How old is he? Would nursery a couple days a week be an option? I felt the exact same way after having my son i love him with my whole heart but it’s so hard always being mummy and never getting to just be you i found having him in nursery a couple days a week massively helped my mental health and meant that i wasn’t getting to a place of being burnt out so i could genuinely enjoy my time with him and if we were having a rough day with lots of tantrums, bad sleep ect then i knew i had a break coming up so i actually found the bad days less stressful, it also helped massively when i got back into some of my old hobbies I’ve always loved cars but when i got pregnant with my son i sold my car that i loved to buy something more practical and i hated that damn car so last year i ordered myself a new car that im absolutely obsessed with and just doing that 1 thing made me feel so much more myself, is there something similar you could do based on who you are and your interests? If you ever

These comments are not it 🙄
Some women don't want to be stay at home moms and thats ok. Maybe it would be better if you worked and sent baby to daycare during the day or had a relative watch him if thats an option. Motherhood can be lonely especially when you're a SAHM and get little to no adult time.
If thats not the answer than maybe you just need time to adjust? How old is baby?

Hi! It’s an overwhelming journey. I understand what you going through but it gets better, unfortunately you have to work for it yourself…a bit. It’s just tge mental load, anxiety and hormones weighing on you. Feel free to DM me…
Sending kind thoughts!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you at all. Reading your comments, it doesn’t sound like you don’t love your son, it sounds like you’re completely burnt out, isolated and overwhelmed.
I completely get the feeling of desperately wanting some breathing space while also hating the thought of someone else having your child. I’ve felt that too. Those feelings can exist together. They don’t mean you don’t love him.
You’ve said you’d rather die than lose him, you’re terrified of daycare because you love him so much, and you’ve already reached out for help. That doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t meant to be a mum.
I’d definitely go back to your doctor though if the medication is only helping a bit. You deserve more support than this. And please ignore the comments telling you to give your son away. They’re really unhelpful when someone is clearly asking for support, not judgement. Xx

I understand how you feel. Please DM me. I would like to be as supportive as I can. I went through the same thing years ago.

If I were your therapist, I'd
1. Spend some time exploring your relationship with your own primary caregivers. There may be unmet childhood wounds affecting the way you view parent-child relationships.
2. Identify coping skills that can help you through feelings of overwhelm, overstimulation, and a heavy workload.
3. Find a support circle. It doesn't always have to be friends or family if you don't have that. It could be neighbors, a church leader, another mom from the area, someone on Peanut that can ft with you on rough days.

I'd also explore any current relationships that you have now. Have you reached out for help? Is asking for support a challenge for you?

There is so much work to be done here, and I hope you can find some professional, a reliable family member/friend, or a journal that can help you navigate it all.

So to your original question, "Is there something wrong with me?"
Not innately. You are human. There is room for improvement, though, and it is important that you work on it seriously for the benefit of you and your son. Wishing you all the best.