Parenting styles

It's a shame you're learning this now your child is here rather than before having children with him. It doesn't sound like he's willing to learn or change his mind, do you think he'd be open to some reading or watching videos about the detrimental effects of shouting and time outs? Unfortunately this is likely to damage their relationship long term

How old is your daughter? While they're very young, I don't think getting angry with them is very helpful because they are just too young to be doing things "wrong" on purpose. They need help understanding why their behaviour is unacceptable and what they can do differently next time. Shouting is just going to role model that shouting is how you should deal with your problems.

I don’t think ur in the wrong. Kids absolutely need boundaries but they don’t need to be made scared in order to learn. What ur doing by being calm and explaining what happened, is a form of discipline too, it’s just teaching rather than punishing. Shouting until a child cries doesn’t necessarily mean she’s learned her lesson. I can see neither of you wants to raise a child who misbehaves but u just both have different ideas about how to get there. When u get a chance, try to speak to him about his childhood and ask how he was disciplined. If he also had the same method, ask how that made him feel and if he really wants to pass that feeling down to his daughter. It’s also important not to undermine each other in front of ur daughter. If u disagree, discuss it privately later. Hopefully u can find a middle ground where she has consistent consequences without fear. Wishing u all the best xx