Intimacy after having baby
Hi everyone, I had my baby in January via emergency c section and obviously wasn’t planning on having sex with my partner for a while after, but we are 6 months in now and we still haven’t. I still just have such low sex drive. I am breastfeeding, and I know this can play part in this, but I’m also just so uncomfortable in my body and touched out that I don’t want anyone to touch me at all. There have been occasions where I have wanted to, but baby is co-sleeping with me for survival, so I don’t really know how we would do anything 🥲 My partner is absolutely wonderful and not pressuring me at all, and assures me he doesn’t mind and everything is at my pace, but we were rarely intimate while I was pregnant due to my pelvic pain and I feel really guilty, even though he doesn’t want me to. We talk about it all the time, so we are on the same page and there’s no resentment or anything like that, just more me wanting to WANT to, if that makes sense.
Has anyone experienced this before or is there any advice anyone could give me?
Lost my sex drive….and starting to resent my husband.
I’m 6months pp, have a 4 year old and running my own business- I’m EBF too, baby won’t take the bottle to the point I’ve just given up trying- I literally feel like I’m running at 100mph. Baby doesn’t really settle for anyone else other than myself and my mum that has her while I work. She will settle with her dad providing I’m out of sight.
She’s a velcro baby so I get about 20min where she will entertain herself.
My husband also runs his own business and most nights he isn’t home till 8pm sometimes later. Safe to say that at the end of the night the last thing on my mind is having sex. I try and make an effort as my husband has a very high sex drive and I make sure we’re intimate 2-3 times a week. Most of the time he does initiate it rather than myself.
I just got our little girl to sleep last night and was laying on the bed, he comes in and starts touching me, he then gets the nipple suction cups out, I said I’d rather not- do you not think my nipples have enough during the day- he then proceeds to put them on me- obviously with the suction I start leaking, so I said no and put them on the side, he then gets a toy out and said maybe this will help get you in the mood- I said it’s not that I’m not in the mood, she’s literally just gone to sleep and I’d like 10mins on my own (it was gone 10pm at this point and we had sex on Sunday & Friday) He then said ‘god what’s a bloke got to do to get some attention from his wife, no wonder men end up resenting women’
Without even thinking I just said ‘I can assure you I resent you for a far lot more’ he just got up and walked out.
I fully understand what I said wasn’t nice but what he said actually hurt me. I put everyone else before myself and for once I’d actually just like him to think of me rather than himself!
He gets up, goes to work and comes home, has his dinner, has a shower and goes to bed- he literally doesn’t have anything to worry about other than work. He’ll take our little girl when he’s home but only so I can put our son to bed, as soon as I walk out he gives me the baby so he can have his dinner 🙄
We was invited out at the weekend to my cousins partners birthday bbq, I said we would go- on the day my husband said ‘I’m not going, dunno why you said we’d go you can go on your own’ I was like great wonderful, both kids on my own- absolutely nothing stopping him from putting himself out and putting me first and just coming with me, but no he left me to go on my own with both kids.
He did this about 2 months ago too, we was invited out with some friends, he said he was coming at then the last minute he just said no, I’ve got stuff to do so you’ll have to go on your own.
Resentment is kicking in quick, I just don’t know what to say to him.
We’ve been together almost 15 years - I just feel that he’s turning into a very self absorbed dick!
Am I over reacting?
