How do you all do it?
How do you let your baby’s daddy make mistakes? Things that you know don’t work or things that you know LO likes, I try to share these with my partner and he just gets angry at me and he thinks I’m being negative towards him, saying that he is doing it wrong.
I EBF and do all the night times and 98% of the daytime naps. My LO also contact naps during the day only (ever since being a baby and having a tongue tie, LO has always fallen asleep during a feed), which hasn’t been a choice, as LO will wake immediately when put down.
Just now my partner offered to take LO for a nap, after we had argued, as I needed a shower and he was talking loudly towards me while holding the baby, as he was walking upstairs. He put LO in the cot and then slammed the bathroom door to go for a wee before being nap trapped.
I tried to say that being loud and noisy isn’t helpful before putting LO down for a sleep and he got angry at me for it (while holding LO).
So how do you all just let things slide, when you know that you will have to deal with the aftermath of LO being an overtired/frustrated baby later on.
How do you do it?
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Leave discussing it til you're both calm. Have a set time once per week when you discuss how things are going. Pick your battles and know that you are both parents so he needs to find his way too. Perhaps time when he takes LO out without you between feeds?
Reserve it till your both calm, I get tempted sometimes but he also needs to learn to have the instincts too and they can’t if your buffering.
I think I saw a study where a man’s brain can develop those mother instinct a little when they get dedicated time to be the primary care giver. So unless the baby is crying for ages or really heartbroken try not to intervene. Even when LO is in that state I teach him grounding techniques to help him and the baby connect. We’ve found that by me not interfering he can take care of the baby even if it looks different. His a lot more low maintenance but it works baby goes to sleep easy plays easy with dad. But I tend to have to put work in the get baby to sleep cause I thought that’s what baby likes and maybe it’s just what baby is used to.
Let him make the mistakes and figure it out. Or ask him if I want to give you tips which I learned from my experience with baby, how should I communicate it with you in a way that doesn't feel like criticism?
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