My baby goes to sleep between 8 - 8.3 depending on his last nap and I am strict by it as he is goes over its difficult to put him to sleep. It's the same thing with stimulation near his bedtime. It's taken me over an hour to put him to sleep because he fell asleep in the car my husband woke him up and when we walked into the house my in-laws straight away grabbed him and stimulated him. I
Told my husband specifically I need to put him to sleep so take him straight to the room.
I put him down at this time, as 1 he's tired but also after he goes to sleep I get
To shower, make food, eat and have some me time. Whereas for everybody else they want to spend that time with him but I'm the one that has to suffer after.
Am I selfish for wanting some me time in the evening and putting him to sleep and essentially taking away that time with my in-laws? (They work and often back late evening)
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Absolutely not, if they really want to spend time with your little one they can make time during the babies wake windows. Tbh at 1 I’d be putting them down earlier than 8pm. There is no need for excitement at that time in the evening when it’s time to wind down and go to bed. My bed time was 8pm till I was around 7-8years old

Don’t feel bad about it, my LO’s 8 weeks and her bedtime routine starts at 7/8 and she’s down for the night by 9/9:30.. like yourself the in laws sometimes come home late but they have ample time through the day to spend time with her. Last thing we want is for her to become overstimulated and overtired because then it takes over an hour to get her to sleep as she’ll just cry.

You aren't selfish at all, you know what works for you and your baby, we are the same with our LO, bathtime is always at 7-7.30 with stories and bedtime following straight after.

Don’t feel bad at all! My 7mo bed time is 7pm. You need time for you and it’s important that your baby gets sleep! If you can tell your husband next time he wants to keep the baby up that it will be his responsibility to put him back to sleep.