Problems

I’ve been with my husband for a long time, and lately I’ve been questioning whether what I’m feeling is normal or a sign that something is missing. He’s a wonderful provider and an amazing dad, and we do have genuinely happy moments together. But I often don’t feel emotionally safe, valued, or respected during conflict. I’m usually the one trying to talk things through, while he gets defensive or shifts the blame, and it leaves me feeling unheard. I love our family, which is why this is so confusing. Has anyone else been in a relationship where the good moments are really good, but the hard moments make you question everything? How did you know whether it was something you could work through or something that wasn’t enough anymore?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

It's really hard because just because someone is a "good" partner doesnt mean they are the right partner. If you are often feeling emotionally unsafe or unheard or disrespected then there is a serious issue in the communication in your relationship. If you love him and want to continue this relationship you should definitely talk with him about trying couples counseling/therapy so you can work through these issues. If he refuses then you have a decision to make, is your occasional comfort and happiness worth feeling unheard and disrespected for the rest of your life? 🖤 it's a tough choice to make, but you deserve to have a healthy relationship and if EVERY disagreement and conflict ends the same way (in you feeling awful and confused about your relationship) then it doesn't sound like a relationship you can continue to grow and thrive in. I'm wishing you the best 🖤

I agree and better couples is an app that helps grow relationships

I feel this..I wish I could tell you just how similar our stories sound. however, know you aren’t alone and only you know how much disrespect you can take. Sending you love❤️ you can message me if you ever need to vent, cause CHILEEE don’t I know 😭

in our community

How do you all do it?

How do you let your baby’s daddy make mistakes? Things that you know don’t work or things that you know LO likes, I try to share these with my partner and he just gets angry at me and he thinks I’m being negative towards him, saying that he is doing it wrong.

I EBF and do all the night times and 98% of the daytime naps. My LO also contact naps during the day only (ever since being a baby and having a tongue tie, LO has always fallen asleep during a feed), which hasn’t been a choice, as LO will wake immediately when put down.

Just now my partner offered to take LO for a nap, after we had argued, as I needed a shower and he was talking loudly towards me while holding the baby, as he was walking upstairs. He put LO in the cot and then slammed the bathroom door to go for a wee before being nap trapped.
I tried to say that being loud and noisy isn’t helpful before putting LO down for a sleep and he got angry at me for it (while holding LO).
So how do you all just let things slide, when you know that you will have to deal with the aftermath of LO being an overtired/frustrated baby later on.
How do you do it?

Feeling like a failure

My little one is 18 months in a couple of days and I think I can count on one hand when he’s had a couple nights decent sleep. He’s never really slept through the night and is doing it more where he’s waking up and no matter what I do to settle him, he’s then awake for a couple of hours then back to sleep. No matter if he has a bad nap or a decent nap throughout the day. I feel like I’m failing and wondering if anyone else has had this?

To circumcise or to NOT circumcise, that is the question.

Hey ladies, so I'm about to give birth, like... he should be here tomorrow. and I'm torn between the two. His dad isn't and he's not really helping me with this decision and now its crunch time. I feel like dad hasn't had any issues and (tmi) but I personally think its pretty cool, and can see certain benefits of have a "pull back" but I've only had a daughter and this is my first (and last) boy. I asked one of my friends who didn't choose to circumcise her son and she said she wish she had did it. He's about five now and she says that it irritates him.
So now I'm like... what to do?!

AM & PM milk

2 months postpartum and i am just finding out that people separate their pumped am & pm milk.... i read on google that pm milk contains melatonin which i also did not know... should i be separating my pumped milk by am & pm?? i'm a ftm so please give me some insight on this and if it actually makes a difference weather i separated them or not. TYYY 🫶🏼

Toddler rejection 😢

My son is nearly two, and I’ve found myself feeling rather saddened by something I’ve noticed recently.
Whenever we’re somewhere with other children, whether it’s the park, a playground, soft play or anywhere similar, he toddles over to them with such enthusiasm, only for them to wander off. I do appreciate that they’re all still very young and that this is simply how toddlers often interact, but it seems to happen so consistently that I can’t help wondering whether he’s beginning to notice.

Perhaps I’m projecting, as I experienced quite a lot of rejection myself as a child, so I’m very conscious that I may be viewing things through that lens. Even so, it’s difficult not to feel rather heartbroken watching it happen time and again.

He’s our first, so he doesn’t have any siblings, and we don’t have any family nearby. I’m a stay at home mum, so he isn’t at nursery either.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is this simply a perfectly normal phase at this age, or are there things we could be doing to help him build friendships and confidence with other children?

Nursery bag

Hello! Looking for a small backpack for nursery with my son’s name sewn or printed onto it. I’ve been told to check Etsy but just wanted to ask here for recommendations to see if there are any other good bags out there! Any ideas? ☺️