Would you fly abroad if you were in my shoes?

I have two children, aged 5 and 3, and I’m considering going abroad with my husband. The main thing making me hesitate is that my husband has ongoing mental health and musculoskeletal issues, and when we travel, he generally doesn’t take responsibility for the practical side of things. I would already expect to be responsible for the children, suitcases and most of the organisation, but I’m also worried that I may need to manage his anxiety or mental health while we’re away.

The last time we travelled, around 1.5 years ago, was quite traumatic for me. On the flight there, my husband experienced severe palpitations and became convinced he was going to die. I had to alert the cabin crew, and when we landed, paramedics assessed him. As he doesn’t speak the language of the country we were visiting, I had to translate for him while also trying to keep an eye on our two young children, who were running around, and deal with all the luggage.

Then, when we arrived at the Airbnb, he became very anxious because he didn’t know what he was going to eat. He has quite significant food anxiety. He walked out of the accommodation, and I had to follow him with both children because I was worried about him. Thankfully, he eventually settled and the rest of the trip was better.

Interestingly, his sibling came to stay with us afterwards, and on the journey home his sibling travelled back with us. My husband was completely fine on the return flight, so I know he can manage travelling, but I think the experience has left me quite traumatised and worried about it happening again.

Now he really wants to go abroad again. He is better than he was previously, and these days he does manage a lot of his anxiety himself. However, he is still not 100% — he still has anxiety and food-related anxiety, and his mood can be very low. When he is struggling, he can become withdrawn, sit quietly and move his body back and forth without really engaging with us. He also tends to isolate himself and doesn’t always tell me how he is feeling, because he prefers to deal with things himself.

I don’t want to stop him from doing something he really wants to do, and I don’t want to disappoint him. At the same time, I’m worried that if things go wrong, I’ll be the one carrying the responsibility for the children, luggage, translating, organising everything AND potentially dealing with another mental health crisis.

So, if you were in my position, would you go abroad? Would you feel comfortable taking the risk, knowing what happened last time and knowing that your husband is better but still not completely well? Or would you wait until things are more stable?

I’m really struggling to work out whether I’m being unnecessarily anxious because of what happened last time, or whether my concerns are reasonable.

in our community

Am I being too sensitive?

I asked my husband to come to Target with me. He said he didn’t want to go and then proceeded to tell me that I cant do things by myself and I’m codependent. I just want to do things with him, I can obviously go by myself but I enjoy being with him. I told him thats insulting and he doesn’t understand why because he thinks he is just telling me the truth. This spiraled into a huge argument and we are now in separate rooms. Am I looking into this? Am I being too sensitive because of my hormones?

Am i missing something?

i tried to make it work with my sons father again, we met up on his birthday to talk things out and over the weekend because he kept telling me he’d send money ($25) for me to get what i need to cook a craving we both wanted. friday night on his way to work he told me he’d send it right then and there bc he gets off in the morning and he’s likely to be tired to do it then

I said okay and went to sleep when he made it to work and when i woke up at 4am i seen he still didn’t do it so i told him to not tell me he’s going to do something and not follow through it bc that can be an issue later on if we dealing with something serious.

he said i was tripping on him for no reason and im trying to control how he handles things and that he never gave me a specific time or whatever, i dropped the conversation bc he sent it and it was whatever

yesterday when it came close to the time for him to get ready for work i called him to see what he was up to and he was hostile bc im asking him if he was sleep something cause it just looks weird. he said it’s nothing and that he’s finna shower, take a nap and come see me before work and that just rubbed me the wrong way and after we hung up i texted him and said it’s cool i don’t wanna see you no more you can just pick your food up and give call it a night

he got upset because he didn’t understand why i switched up and im telling him im in my feelings and i dont wanna argue with him about it because it’ll be me tripping on him. we still ended up arguing and he was like forget it he just gon drop whatever stuff i had off and go to work early

im still trying to talk to him as i calm down from the argument we had and he was still upset, he showed up to my place and tried to give me my stuff and leave but i stopped him so we could talk it out and diffuse the situation

he screamed at me, telling me hes not doing this with me anymore and how he doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore and i’m trying to mediate the situation so he can calm down but he didn’t want me touching him or anything. i took his keys out of the ignition because he was walking off and he snatched them from and when i sat in his car and waiting he called his mom and moments later called the police.

while we were waiting for the police i still tried to talk to him because i was confused on why hes taking drastic measures when the issue wasn’t that big to begin with but i went back in the house after pouring the food i prepared for him into his and literally his whole family and the police were outside my house wanting me to come out.

i didn’t bother and they left but here it is the next day and im trying to wrap my head around it, he won’t answer the phone and ive been texting him but no response…im more hurt from me trying to prevent this and us talking about figuring it out when we fight instead of resulting to destruction
on his birthday but idk im just praying for me and my sons well being.

what am i not seeing in this situation? i feel like this is a bad dream but im wide awake and him being non responsive is the reality check that it really did…

Am I TA?

So my parents care for my niece 1 day a week, things are awkward for many reasons including the fact that my son has been told to be quiet while playing outside at a normal volume, because niece is sleeping.

Today, I was asked to pass on a messafe to my Mum and as soon as I opened my mouth I was told to be quiet as she was trying to sleep.

I have very little interest in being around now.

Would I be the AH if I avoided being around while my niece is visiting.

We live on my parents property and despite desperately wanting to move, can't right now.

Holiday Abroad with 3 month old… yay or nay?

Apologies, I’m sure this question gets asked a lot…

We are contemplating going abroad on holiday in September, our little boy will turn three months at the end of next week.

Things that might be helpful to know:
- I express and he’s bottle fed
- We would go somewhere like Spain
- We would fly

Our worries are that he could cry the entire flight, and he could be difficult to settle at times whilst we’re away and we don’t have the usual aids (rocker etc).

However we’ve been told this is the golden age to take a baby as they aren’t yet moving around and still nap quite a bit. So would we be silly not to take the opportunity?

Or do we just holiday in the UK? It can be as expensive or more expensive than going abroad but we don’t have to worry about the plane and could take things like the rocker with us.

I know no one can really answer this for us but would be interested in your thoughts and experiences! TIA x

TLDR: do we take our 3 month abroad, worried he’ll cry on plane and be hard to settle during holiday.

Solid foods

Doctor approved us to start introducing more solid foods at 5 months because of her head control. I told our daycare, and they asked what my plan was—baby-led weaning, purées, pouches, etc. And honestly… I had no idea what to tell them 😂

What is everyone else’s plan for introducing solids? Are you doing baby-led weaning, purées, a mix of both, or something else?

Toddler meltdowns.

Hi. I hope all is well.

I honestly need to vent. And also some advice. Or I need to know if anyone can relate because I feel so alone in this. Recently my 2 year old has been throwing the WORST tantrums. I don’t even know what to call them. Tantrums or meltdowns. It first happened at the park that’s 5 min away from where we live (we walked). And she was crying as if I was doing something bad to her. Everyone was staring. I felt so horrible. I cried silently all the way home while she screamed and cried in her stroller. Now it’s happening everyday, at least once a day. She screams so loud and cries so much. It’s if she doesn’t get her way. I feel horrible and we live in an apartment complex so I get scared if neighbors are gonna call the cops. She doesn’t want my comfort she wants to be by herself. I let her know I’m here if she needs me to hug her. She tells me no. And wants to be alone. I let her be but I can hear her from the other room just screaming and crying. I always end up crying, I get so overwhelmed. I try not to let her see me crying. But once she’s done she comes back and lets me comfort her by hugging her. Is any of this normal?