What should I do?

My boyfriend works in the culinary industry, and I stay home with our baby. I understand that his schedule is exhausting and that he needs time to relax when he gets home. But lately, it feels like all he does is watch TV, go on his phone, or sleep. We rarely spend intentional time together unless we’re eating.

He doesn’t have any days off coming up, so today I really wanted to spend a few hours with just him. I didn’t even bring the baby because I wanted us to have some one-on-one time. We went to do laundry, and everything was fine, but when it was time to get the baby’s formula, he didn’t want to come because he was tired. It was only one bus ride, about 18 minutes, but he kept telling me I should understand how demanding his job is.

I eventually told him never mind and that he could order it. I wasn’t trying to force him to do anything unreasonable, I just miss spending time with my boyfriend. Lately, I feel more like we’re roommates than a couple.

I understand that he’s tired, but I feel like I’m always understanding his needs while mine are being overlooked. I’m feeling really hurt and discouraged. Am I being unreasonable, or should I just let this go?

in our community

Relationship in the gutter

I think my relationship with my baby's dad is heading towards the gutter...
Ever since having my little boy I've been struggling with being physically involved with my partner, it's almost like the idea of it repulsives me?
I've never been a very romantic person, nor have I ever been very good at being intimate (due to abuse from a previous relationship).
Lately it feels like he's pressuring me into being intimate, and saying I don't love him because I can't do it. I've explained to him many times about how I'm feeling but it just doesn't seem to change anything. He even said he feels like we're just friends at this point.
He's aware of my past issues, and has no issues with that. I've had therapy for my past, but this seems different?

I don't know what I'm hoping for from this post, just feel like I need to air out how I'm feeling!
I've had a "breakdown" today, not that he found out. Just don't feel I have anyone to talk to about it

Can you be too much of a mom?

Have you ever had someone tell you you’re too much of a mom and you make others around? You feel bad because they don’t do as much with their kids that your too good and they wish you’d mess up more so others don’t feel bad. I do spend a lot of time with my children. Yes, I do activities with them. Yes I do play with them. Yes, but I am not perfect. No one is I have moments where I’m stressed out and burned out and I just want five minutes by myself, but do I take that out on my kids no do I get frustrated and overwhelmed absolutely do I have one of my kids 24 seven yes her father lives out of state, but my son spends time with his father, but I always 100% have my daughter. Do I leave her with anyone? Absolutely not I’m a very big true crime person and I’ve seen tons and tons of cases with these children get severely abuse neglected or even end up no longer breathing is that the only reason now I’ve just never gotten to the point where I feel like I need to go out and party or needs to do any specific kid free activity would it be nice yes but do I feel like that is more of a priority than being with my child no did I choose to be a mother yes so do I feel like it’s anyone else’s responsibility to take care of her, but because I don’t have babysitters on demand and anything I do involves my children. I got told I’m too much of a mom and I think that’s a little crazy but am I the one that’s crazy do I specifically need kid free time I’m not dating. I’m not trying to date. I’m in the process of buying a home for my children’s long-term future, I am focused on me and them right now, so am I missing some role that I have to have time without them this person also has a kid I guess I could understand if they didn’t. They would want me to be able to be free from time to time yes but they also have a child and claim they have no help or no break but they definitely do not as much as they would like, but definitely more than I do and me not wanting or needing it at this moment seems to be a problem for them. I said when my youngest is old enough to talk fully, I will gladly feel a little better doing these things. She’s only 18 months and my son is three, but he is speech delayed, but I have no choice when it comes to his dad and his time and who he leaves him with but my daughter 100% my choice she talks better than her three year-old brother she’s very advanced, but do I still feel ready at this point? No I don’t but am I damaging my child because I don’t just leave her with anyone and take so-called breaks. I understand some people need it and some people can’t handle it but I just don’t feel that way. Is that a bad thing? Am I really missing something. I’m genuinely asking. I’m not trying to damage my child, but like I said, I also know the risks me and my family aren’t close. I can’t trust them with my child. All of my close friends live out of state so it’s not like any of them can watch her and I’m definitely not leaving my kid with any random stranger just to have a night out and like I said her father lives out of state.

Wants me to be a homemaker but complains when I take the role seriously...

Early in the relationship we agreed that we will have mostly traditional family roles, he goes to work and makes money for the family, I stay home to manage the household and raise the children. My biggest struggle is keeping up with cleaning, I find it hard to do with 2 little ones constantly making messes, and when I do get the opportunity to clean motivation becomes an issue. I find it the easiest to clean when I'm actually proud and happy with the space I'm cleaning.

I started making home improvements to help improve my motivation, some matching furniture, matching bedding sets, replacing a few old items, hang some things on our bare beige walls, nothing too crazy. He'd complain about costs then complain about helping me if something needed power tools to put together but always enjoyed the end result of my ideas and our work. That's a common reoccurrance, him complaining and arguing against something the whole time just to find that he actually likes the results.

I'm trying to get to a point where I'm making family dinners more often and we all eat at the table I just upcycled for us but this is just another string of complaints. Complaints about the ingredients I get and the food I want to make for us that he's never even had before or has had and just doesn't want to spend money on the ingredients. I want to make 3 homemade meals this week, nothing too crazy either, and apparently that's asking too much for him to cooperate with. I want to make baked white fish, he complains he won't like it even though he says he hasn't had it, complains it might be expensive, complains it might stink up the whole house.

He just wants everything to stay as it's always been yet married me because he wants improvement and change in our lives together. If he were alone he'd be in a nearly bare apartment but I want to make it a home for our family and every idea I have or try out gets complaints and push back and never really receives the appreciation or thanks for it after he finds he does really like what I bring to the table. He wants me to consider being our children's homeschool teacher but I dread the potential complaints I'd hear from him, I'd need to see a change in attitude and support before I take on that task.

Anyone else relate or dealt with this before? Any advice that doesn't involve dramatically divorcing?

What is a better time for a 4yo party that involves some traveling (30-45 mins)

These are the only times available

Have Family member around for the first month pp?

I'm FTM due in Jan 2027.
Me and my husband have been arguing about this, so I’d really love to hear other people’s experiences!
I’d like to have my sister around after I have the baby. She works, but she’s happy to come and stay for at least 3 weeks to a month to help me during the early days. However, during her last visit, my MIL told my husband that having someone around might mean we don’t get enough time to bond with the baby, and that if she had the choice, she’d have only wanted mum and dad around.

She did actually have her own mum with her for at least 3 weeks after both of her deliveries, but since that comment my husband has been quite stuck on the idea that it should just be “our family time” and that he’ll be there to support me.
I come from a big joint family, so having family around after a baby is completely normal to me. All my sisters had family helping them during their postpartum recovery, so I’ve always seen it as a time when you get extra support rather than something that takes away from bonding with your baby.

My sister is also not someone who would constantly be in our business or take over. She’d help where needed and give us plenty of space to have our own time as a new family.

I’m also finding this particularly difficult because I don’t have my mum, so my sister is really the closest person I have who could be there for me emotionally and practically. My husband will be home for 2 weeks on paternity leave, but after that I’ll be on my own while he goes back to work.

So I’d really love to know what others think. Am I being too sensitive about this, or is it completely reasonable to want family around during those first few weeks for the emotional, physical and practical support?

Would you personally prefer to have just you and your partner around to bond with the baby, or would you have appreciated an extra pair of hands and some company?

And if you had family staying with you after birth, did you find it helpful or did you feel like it got in the way of having your own family time? Would really appreciate hearing everyone’s experiences!

Why do so many people think every single thing a parent didn't do exactly right is down to laziness...

It's always 'they're lazy' 'parents are so lazy' 'parents thesedays are just lazy'
It's applied to every single scenario where a parent does not follow a guideline to a T. I'm tired of people assuming I'm lazy when I am fighting for my life just trying to survive each day.