MIL Bought a Cot for Sleepovers… But Baby Is Only 6 Weeks Old
My MIL has bought a cot for when our LO stays at hers. She’s only 6 weeks old.
I know it’s come from a good place and she’s probably just excited, but I can’t help feeling a bit uncomfortable about it. I think it’s partly because it feels like there’s already an expectation that she’ll be staying overnight, when that’s not something I’m comfortable with or planning anytime soon. I don’t intend for her to stay overnight anywhere without us until she’s at least a year old.
I’m also uncomfortable with the fact that the cot has a second-hand mattress. I’ve mentioned my concerns to my OH, but he tends to brush things under the carpet rather than address them, and I feel like that’s just storing up an awkward conversation for later - especially if MIL expects us to put LO in the cot when we visit or keeps pushing for sleepovers.
I genuinely appreciate that she’s excited and wants to be involved, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. At the same time, I’m frustrated that it feels like assumptions are being made about our baby without actually asking us first.
How would you approach this? Am I overthinking it, or is it reasonable to set the boundary now rather than waiting until it becomes an issue?
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I'm always a fan of honesty is the best policy!! I'm known for being pretty blunt so I've been sing co pilot to soften my words and make it a more constructive conversation.
I do think if it's an important boundary for you say it now, it stops all the internal questions on both sides.
Agree with the above, honesty is always the best policy. You could soften it to by saying I appreciative you providing a safe sleep space for lo when we visit but for the time being until we decide we’re comfortable lo wont be staying over night but also mention you’d like a new mattress and show the guidelines on sharing mattresses if it makes you feel better to back your words with evidence. Xx
If you feel boundaries need to be set then you can set them. It’s hard but I found saying what I needed to say was easier than the anxiety of waiting for it to come up. Your MIL likely is just excited - mine is the same and we’ve had to have a couple of discussions, which have all been really positive in the end. My partner is also the same as yours re the carpet.
Things like ‘oh that’s a lovely cot, she can enjoy sleepovers when she’s a bit older’ or ‘that’s a really nice idea for when she’s a year old, I’ll need to get a new mattress for the cot though if she’s going to take a nap in it because it’s safer for her’ or if that’s not the issue then ‘I’m not comfortable with that at the moment but I’ll let you know when it sits better with me’. I had to do this one with kissing her.
Not an easy one though, I know ❤️
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