Feeling like a disappointment

Awh I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this! You sound like a wonderful mum! It's really difficult to imagine what being a mum entails before having children. But when I read your post, it immediately took me back to being 6 months postpartum, because for some reason 6 months hit me hard! I suddenly felt really down and started questioning everything, and I was annoyed because I felt like it was too late to have the 'baby blues'.
I'm sure you're doing amazingly! Sometimes thoughts aren't facts and maybe there's something similar like with me at play in your mind at the moment! Xx

Don’t worry, I was literally having this conversation with my sister yesterday saying that I’m absolutely exhausted and not from lack of sleep, but from constantly having to be “on”. I took downtime for granted before and now I have none, I’m drained.
Also, babies are a bit boring sometimes. I think you probably are a natural and this is actually quite normal.
I absolutely love my boy to death, but when he’s whining at me for the 1000th time in a day because he wants to stand up or he’s pulled himself onto his front but doesn’t want to be on his front despite easily being able to get himself out of it, it gets a bit jarring.
I don’t wish this time away at all as I know I’ll never get to experience him being this little again but it’s going to be so fun when he’s walking, talking and becomes a proper little person.

100% told myself when I was younger that I would be a ‘certain kind of mum’ - absolutely 100% not that kind of mum but my boy is loved, cared for and is happy and that’s all that matters!
It’s so easy to have an ideal way of patenting in your mind before the actual realities of being a mum hit!
I’m a teacher and had 30 kids in my care all day, every day before having my son and had the most patience ever… fast forward to me dealing with 1 toddler tantrum and I wonder where all that patience went sometimes.
Please don’t be hard on yourself x