Tantrums - do you give in?
My son is throwing a paddy because I didn’t hold his milk for him (he usually holds it himself mainly with daddy) and he’s screaming and crawling into corners.
Do I just give in and feed him the milk or do I just leave it on the floor and wait for him to go to it. It’s been about 15 minutes so far. Sometimes I feel mean with him crying so much but don’t want to teach him that he gets everything he wants.
Why is parenting toddlers so hard 😭
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Sometimes I have to allow space during a tantrum because we both can get frustrated: then after taking a moment then I come back to re address it
I’ve stopped giving in as that’s just teaching them that if they cry enough or hit then they will get their own way which isn’t a good way to teach them x
Don't give in now you've started, but I'd say pick your battles! If it's not a big deal, then don't make it into one
I hold the boundary but certainly after 15 minutes id intervene... after 5 minutes really. Get down on their level, open arms wide for a hug, see if they come over. Start reading a book or just rock hugging for a while. Our littles still need us to regulate their emotions. Its important to give them space to feel their feels but during tantrums i stay within l eye sight of my daughter and just say “i’ll be right over there when you’re ready for a hug.”
I teach her to use her words instead of throwing a tantrum. Sometimes the tantrum comes after I’ve denied her what she wants at the time. I reconcile with her and then she calms down.
So there is an easy way to tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. Tantrums, you hold your boundaries and don't give in. Meltdowns are another thing - they mean your child has reached their emotional limit and are becoming flooded.
If he's screaming and crying but the screaming and crying stops as soon as you give him what he wants, that's a tantrum. If the screaming doesn't stop even after you give him the thing, that's a meltdown. A tantrum is a negotiation - they are in control, and it's a way of getting what they want. A meltdown is a fire alarm - you can't negotiate or reason with it, all you can do is respond and try to mitigate the damage.
Nope. We co-regulate and wait it out. Often if we don't make a fuss of it he is able to regulate himself pretty quickly and get on with it. If he wants to drink the milk then he can do so himself! If I say no I mean no, and I think holding myself to those boundaries (even when I WANT to give in and get him what he wants) makes me a more stable person for my kids and that they can trust me to keep my word, for both negative AND positive things.
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