No Village

Any other moms have absolutely no village? Im talking no family. I have my boyfriend and a couple friends and thats it. His family isnt in the picture. My mom is dead (and she felt dead to me before she even died, horrible mother) I have my dad and older brother blocked because of toxicity. My youngest brother is a homeless drug addict. None of my family or my partners family even live in the same state. Birthday parties for our kids? A couple gifts, 1 small table not even filled. We're lucky if a few kids show up. Every single Holiday is just us. Needing mom advice? Doctor google. It makes me so bitter sometimes. To literally have no one. Any other moms in the same boat? How do you cope? I'm exhausted.

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Postpartum/return to work

Not sure if anyone has any advice or is also currently going through this. Struggling first time mom over here. My baby is almost 4 months old, I returned to work when he was 9 weeks old. I work at a daycare so I'm able to bring him with me, he's in the classroom directly next to me with a half wall separating us. I'm currently struggling with adjusting being away from him all day while also dealing with all the postpartum things, feeling like a bad mom for leaving him and not spending all day with him, constantly wanting to cry. Feeling like I'm doing something wrong at my job just for peaking over the wall to check on him. Wanting to work from home so I can be with him but fighting myself wondering if I should do that, feeling guilty if I do because I'd be leaving my current job.

Returning to work after Mat leave…

Had my first day back to work as a teacher yesterday. My baby is just over 9 months. My partner and family all work shifts that change daily or weekly so my little one is in nursery 4 days a week and I get one day off with her.

I know it’s only been one day but I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I missed my baby and felt like an awful mum for not being with her. Equally I don’t know how I will be a very good teacher anymore because all I care about is going home to my baby.

I guess I just want know others experiences so I know I won’t feel this rubbish about it forever 😢

Would/have you left your baby in hospital.

Hi, I’m in a position where my 10 week old has to stay in hospital for a few months - at least. I have my other child at home, whilst grandparents are amazing at being available… I’m missing them. I miss not being with them. Baby father works a lot and is unable to swap places with me even if he would like too. We need the money so unless I leave baby nothing will change.
Have you ever left a young baby in hospital whilst you stayed with their sibling.
Did you go back daily.
My other child staying with me is out of the picture.

Looking for some opinions/advice because I genuinely don’t know what the best thing to do is.

Me and my baby’s dad were together for 5 years. We broke up in April while I was pregnant, and within the same month he had a new girlfriend.

Since we broke up, he’s barely contacted me or checked in to see how me or the baby are doing. We’ve gone months without speaking and I’ve basically been going through the pregnancy, appointments and preparing for our little boy on my own.

He’s said he wants to be involved once the baby is born, but he’s also told me he wants a paternity test when he’s here. I know people can ask for that reassurance, but after being together for five years and knowing there’s no question in my mind about who the father is, it has obviously hurt me.

I’m also finding it difficult that he moved on and got into another relationship so quickly after our five-year relationship ended, especially while I’m pregnant. I understand that we’re no longer together and he’s entitled to move on, but it’s a lot to process alongside everything else.

I don’t want my feelings towards him or his new relationship to influence decisions about our son. At the same time, I feel like being a parent starts before the baby is born, and I’m struggling with the idea of him having very little involvement throughout the pregnancy but then expecting everything to change once the baby arrives.

I’m also unsure how to approach his new girlfriend being around my baby.i have never met her before and have no idea who she is.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do? Would you let him take the lead and see whether he actually makes consistent effort once the baby is born? How would you deal with the paternity test and his new girlfriend?

I’m not looking to keep my son away from his dad. I just want to protect my peace, set sensible boundaries and make decisions that are genuinely best for my baby rather than making them because I’m hurt.