postpartum anger and anxiety

so me and my babies father constantly go at it and i’ve been trying to tell him my anxiety has been awful but he won’t listen and he comes home from work everyday and immediately goes to shower and eats and hops on the game while im with my 3 month old i feel as if he never wants anything to do with her unless she is sleeping and i told him that i felt that way and i wasn’t being mean or anything when i said it to him and he blew his lid and ever since then he has called me every name under the sun and i got told that he regrets having a kid with me he told me i make him want to harm his self he didn’t love me he told me all kinds of things i feel like i shouldn’t put on here and don’t get me wrong i have said some things but it’s because im not going to sit there and get disrespected and take it. our relationship was perfect but the exact day in the hospital right immediately after i gave birth he started treating me differently. and has been mean to me. i’m severely depressed and i get called selfish for being upset about things and he expects me to have sex with him after he will sit there and degrade me and gets mad when i’m not in the mood i have bad blood pressure problems and i told him he needs to stop because my blood pressure is getting high and he straight up told me he doesn’t care. i almost died giving birth because my blood pressure. i feel so unappreciated and it’s an everyday thing. i just want a happy family

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1. You are not asking too much.

2. Sometimes folks especially men tell you exactly how they feel.

3. If this is how he feels, its time for you to find another space. Free from his belittling and non help.

4. I would suggest praying for direction and guidance.

5. Each state should have funding for you to put your little precious in daycare while you look for a job or go to college or trade school.

6. People only change because they want to. He's showing you by his words and actions that this is not something he wants to do. At least not the unenjoyable parts of parenthood and the relationship.

7. I see that this post has the warning label and you may want to seek out additional resources to set yourself up in your own place where you can decide the level of peace for you and your baby.

You deserve more than walking on eggshells, and feeling less than. You are a precious woman that literally just performed a human miracle. Created life and are her superhero.

Please know that

None of this is your fault and this post hits home for a lot of us. You and your baby deserve better and need better. If you leave while they’re young the separation is normalized a lot earlier for them. Men like this don’t change, they get more manipulative and strategic.

Honestly.. I had a very similar situation. He’d come home from work and hop onto his computer games.

Do what I never did. Document everything into a dated personal diary. They can be used as evidence in court. Contact the domestic violence helpline. let them know what’s going on. What he’s saying etc. then leave him. If he thinks he shouldn’t have gotten with you/ had a kid with you, then fine, he doesn’t get you then.

I honestly don’t have any sympathy for men like this. And it’s normal to say nasty things back when you’re getting attacked like this. It’s hard to not.

First ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD
Second you don’t need a ( this kind of person ) in your life to be successful.
If you feel depressed or sad anything like that it’s good to look for some help. Remember if mom is healthy and happy baby is. First you have to take care of yourself to be able to continue.

Don’t let a person to make you think you are doing things wrong. YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN FOR YOUR BABY ❤️

in our community

I can’t do this!

I’m so confused. I keep seeing people who have no issues sleeping with their babies or near their babies. I can’t! It’s been like 3, 4 weeks? IDk. Today it feels like I just hit a wall. I’ve tried the swaddling, and she still stirs and makes noises that wakes me up. I’ve tried the bed sharing. She still moves and fusses and squirms. I’m so tired. I dread nighttime because I know there’s no way I’m going to actually sleep. During the day I can hand baby to hubby and get some chunks of sleep, but at night, every little sound just wakes me up. I don’t know what to do.

My husband hates me.

I don’t want to even get into it, but the only time he’s ever been nice to me is when i’ve been pregnant, and I pour everything I have into my kids. I know we all have our cross to bear in life, but my crime is that I wasn’t complicit to his pill problem, and it caused a lot of issues with CPS, which I unintentionally got involved when I reached out for help. His mom hates me. CPS thinks his mom is a toxic enabler. They deemed me the only competent care giver. Now they’ve closed the case, and I don’t have them to protect me anymore, and even if i leave, i still have to deal with these people for the rest of my life. honestly I really just wish him happiness and hope he finds somebody he actually loves and respects and respectfully lets me move on with my life. I just want to start my own business which i’m currently working on, and i want to take care of my parents and keep them out of the nursing home for as long as possible. I just want my parents. i want my mom. My dad who is my biggest support is dying. It kills me to know i won’t have my kids all the time. My husband just tells me how I’m not a good wife. I don’t understand why he’s even still with me.

Death of the pastors wife

do we think he physically killed her? or was it suicide?

I currently believe it was suicide, but he may aswell have been holding that gun. either way, he killed her. he is responsible for her death.

I don’t wish anything bad on anyone but boy do I hope karma SLAPS him in the face. I have never felt so much anger and disgust towards someone in my life.

Colostrum

When harvesting Colostrum ive been told not to use a hand held manual pump like a medula (i think thats how its spelt) at all before like 6 weeks PP including after baby using any pump until at least 6 weeks but ive seen alot of women use the hand held manual ones, im very confused at the advice from midwifes and other people! I know seeing USA advice is different as im in the UK so advice is rather different but it just confuses me!!

"have you even tried to get them to speak?" Maybe you can tell me what I'm missing.

•spoke to them and read to them as babies.
• took them to the doctor when language didn't start developing (1 year old)
• referred to early intervention clinic at 16m
• it was the pandemic so virtual visit with SLP and parenting classes to teach speech.
• "people games" and repeating words (they need to hear it 50 times minimum to know it)
• wait list for diagnosis
• wait list for specialized services
• hearing test and checks for tongue ties
• diagnosis
• specialized school for pre school and kinder with an SLP
• got a developmental pediatrician
• no screen time
• single language use
• language modeling/modeling with aac
• labelling everything
• summer camp with SLP/ another summer camp with kids who talk
•exposure to family and kids who can speak
• introduction of basic sign language still with speech
• twice a week home visits from experts for 2 going on 3 years.
• genetic testing
• built team of experts in speech, childhood development, etc to help.
• rewarding the use of any language.
• repeating the sounds they make.
• learning how they communicate to meet their needs.

I think thats it. Maybe there is something you know that I don't. My parents only ever spoke around me and I spoke early.

Night feed

Where is everyone doing their night feeds? I breast feed and then I have to pump because my son has tongue tie and that's what I was advised to do. My son is really good at sleeping at night, he'll eat and then go back to sleep, or have his nappy changed and then go back to sleep. Both with no intervention. Because of this I feed him and pump him in bed next to my husband.
Where does everyone else feed their little ones?