Am I overreacting
Our son is 6 weeks old, turns 7 tomorrow. my partner never wakes up at night to help unless I ask him , ( sometimes I don’t need his help coz he has to go work and I don’t mind doing it myself ) the only time I ask for help is when I’m extremely exhausted or when baby has really kept me up. when he does wake up on his own he just looks at us and goes back to sleep and sometimes he opts to sleep in the living room on the couch, btw he doesn’t share a bed with me, he sleeps on the floor bed for reasons best known to him! When I ask him to look after the baby he still comes back to ask questions on whether he is supposed to feed him, change him or put him to sleep which is just as good as me staying up and looking after baby myself. I was telling him about appointments I’ve got booked for our son and he said to me he can’t come I need to use uber, this came up after we went for our 6 weeks post natal check and he said to me he could have gone to work . I said to him the baby is ours he need to be a parent just like I do and not be selective on when he can and can’t help and shouldn’t let me do everything on my own., he needs to be involved! That aside, my son still wakes up almost 2-3 hourly for feeds so obviously I was up most of the night, after the appointment he told me he couldn’t look after the baby coz he needed to rest, which honestly I feel is unfair, he slept the whole night, he had his afternoon nap and I didn’t coz baby been fussy the whole day . He is quiet helpful with meal preps but sometimes I just need a break from baby and just get some rest, I feel I’m doing it all alone. We argued about the whole thing coz I have been repeating the same thing for 6 weeks now and he has been calling everyone saying I was screaming at him when I don’t ask him to help , honestly should I ask each and every time? Sometimes I would be eating me meals whilst carrying the baby and he would just be seated . Honestly it’s exhausting having to ask all the time when I have explained several times of what I require from him. keep in mind he wanted the baby, I love my son but he pushed for me to have a baby and he’s also complained about me getting the coil as contraception coz I told him I don’t want to go through this whole experience again. Honestly what would one do in this case
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My husband also didn’t understand that he needs to prompt me to help me. I don’t think most guys naturally think that “Oh maybe I should hold the baby so she can have her hands-free to eat”
I swear my husband is shocked every time that I say the kids need a bath and that is a daily occurrence, it just doesn’t occur to some guys. And it’s exhausting too constantly ask for help. Can you guys set a schedule maybe two days a week that he’s in charge of the baby in a certain timeframe, so you can have a nap or go to bed early?
I'd go to couples counselling so you can have someone mediate while you try to explain your feelings to him. He needs to learn how to be a parent.
Take care of yourself. Use contraceptive. It will be twice as hard to get through it without the help. Love your son. He will grow up one day to be your best friend 🧡
Men want babies like kids want a puppy. Stand up for yourself and if needed, seek a therapist to help you guys communicate.
Not all men are like this.
Just hand him the baby and walk away, to eat or rest whatever. If he asks questions tell him to work it out. He either learns the hard way or proves hes not worth your time
My view fwiw: you both work full time, he at an external job and you doing childcare everyday. When he gets home from work, all jobs, including night wake ups should be split equally.
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Am I overreacting
Our son is 6 weeks old, turns 7 tomorrow. my partner never wakes up at night to help unless I ask him , ( sometimes I don’t need his help coz he has to go work and I don’t mind doing it myself ) the only time I ask for help is when I’m extremely exhausted or when baby has really kept me up. when he does wake up on his own he just looks at us and goes back to sleep and sometimes he opts to sleep in the living room on the couch, btw he doesn’t share a bed with me, he sleeps on the floor bed for reasons best known to him! When I ask him to look after the baby he still comes back to ask questions on whether he is supposed to feed him, change him or put him to sleep which is just as good as me staying up and looking after baby myself. I was telling him about appointments I’ve got booked for our son and he said to me he can’t come I need to use uber, this came up after we went for our 6 weeks post natal check and he said to me he could have gone to work . I said to him the baby is ours he need to be a parent just like I do and not be selective on when he can and can’t help and shouldn’t let me do everything on my own., he needs to be involved! That aside, my son still wakes up almost 2-3 hourly for feeds so obviously I was up most of the night, after the appointment he told me he couldn’t look after the baby coz he needed to rest, which honestly I feel is unfair, he slept the whole night, he had his afternoon nap and I didn’t coz baby been fussy the whole day . He is quiet helpful with meal preps but sometimes I just need a break from baby and just get some rest, I feel I’m doing it all alone. We argued about the whole thing coz I have been repeating the same thing for 6 weeks now and he has been calling everyone saying I was screaming at him when I don’t ask him to help , honestly should I ask each and every time? Sometimes I would be eating me meals whilst carrying the baby and he would just be seated . Honestly it’s exhausting having to ask all the time when I have explained several times of what I require from him. keep in mind he wanted the baby, I love my son but he pushed for me to have a baby and he’s also complained about me getting the coil as contraception coz I told him I don’t want to go through this whole experience again. Honestly what would one do in this case
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