Sex and Relationships with Railey Molinario

Ladies! What is your advice?

My partner whom I have been and known for 12 yrs is going on a holiday tomorrow with 3 of his guy friends. Inbetween those years of knowing and being with him, we’ve had our fair share ups and downs (few times leading to breakup due to cheating). We left out past behind, and have gained trust with each other.

Fast forward to now, we share a child together 4yrs old, now am expecting my 2nd baby with him.

So having said that he’ll be on holiday with his friends - a week ago he disclosed to me that 1 of his friend is going there to spend time with his girlfriend who lives in that country they’re visiting. He mentioned I shouldn’t get no weird thoughts or overthink this.

I respect him to telling me but I find it super weird and now starting to think that this friends girlfriend will bring her friends along to go on nights out etc… my partner tells me no, it’s nothing like that, and he’ll be spending time with his other two friends. I just don’t trust this whole plan and situation. And mainly any girls aboard as I’ve seen how it is.

What you trust your man to be going or the girls that may tag along?

in our community

Am I being unreasonable

It’s my baby girls first Christmas coming up and I don’t want her to have a chocolate advent calendar as I don’t think she will need chocolate everyday at 6mo but because my partner wants her to have one as it’s tradition I said we can meet in the middle and get her a toy one or something similar he then said that I was weird and controlling only because I don’t want her to have chocolate everyday he says it’s not a big deal and that it’s his child too I can’t make all the decisions

Why would you wean your baby at 4 months?

In a non judgmental way I just genuinely would like to hear of people who wean their babies at 4 months, regardless of how well they sit or swallow. I hear the argument that they don’t need to necessarily sit or swallow too well yet but it seems like it is just not fun for the baby to be taken away from milk to be spoon fed unsweetened porridge or something like that. I am just curious to hear from other parents just to be able to understand why so many people around me are being so pushy about me weaning my EBF baby at 4 months.

I don’t even know

So my husband and I are putting away groceries..I’ve already had a long tiring day and was already irritated, my 4year old was not listening and constantly getting into things..I asked and told multiple times nicely to please stop grabbed her off counters and stuff..she kept on so I finally ended up yelling at her, my husband yells at me “ you don’t need to yell at her she going to end up depressed that’s why she is the way she is”… I said she is not listening I’ve asked multiple times nicely. And also when I tell you I feel depressed you say and I quote, “ depression isn’t a real thing it’s all in your head get used to it”. So I said well if I could actually get a break from them I wouldn’t be so short tempered… when he is home he does nothing, I want to shower kids go with I want to go to the bathroom kids go with, if I want to go out with friends to get a break kids have to go with or I can’t go..I’ve burned every dinner to a charcoal crisp because he would not help me with anything. Yes I know I should not yell at my kids but things happen and I’m human too and I always feel terrible after and go tell them sorry and explain why I yelled..

Am I wrong?

My husband has gone away for the weekend on a buck’s which is in theory fine.

Our toddler is sick and sh slept poorly for 2 nights prior to his leaving - so badly I almost called in sick to work one day because I’ve had so little sleep. So my husband definitely knew she was sick. Went anyway. We also have 2 other daughters. (4 and 6)

I sent him a text to be like toddler vomited and has a small rash and he was like oh that sucks hope the weekend isn’t horrible for you! This pissed me off so much because he didn’t even pretend to care about her or my stress levels. I feel like if the roles were reversed he’d be pissed that I left him alone for a whole weekend with a sick child plus 2 others. He didn’t even do anything to help me get ready for the weekend (we don’t have groceries, I just had to push a heavy queen sized mattress into one of my daughter’s bedrooms on my own so we could all sleep together tonight.

He has also periodically picked fights with me about “not being supportive enough” I.e. pissy because I don’t act enough like his mummy. But then he’ll leave me with sick kids?

I get that we all are in need and deserving of breaks but I feel like he should have offered to come home (or not left in the first place). The longer I stew the more fucking annoyed I get.

Do I have a right to be angry?? Please read.

Last week we went to a family funeral. It was a very sad day and I was trying to be supportive of my sister and brother in law as it was his mum. We were all in shock at the loss as she died on the same day as my mum (only five years later) and they held the funeral in the same place as my mums, to the day. It was an emotional day for everyone and during the wake my husband comes out with.. "I don't care if you're pregnant or not" infront of all our family. Nobody knows we are trying and I'm currently in the tww. We had a loss a few months ago which broke me and we agreed to try again one last time. I said it wasn't a nice thing to say and definitely not appropriate for the time and place.

Now I just think he wanted the sex rather than the baby. I am feeling like I'm pregnant and anxiously waiting to take the test. I feel exhausted physically and mentally. Now I also feel like my husband won't be happy to be having a second child as he's clearly stated he doesn't care. I've done all the housework this morning after a massive row about who does what around the house. I said that I'm not feeling up to doing the housework which sparked the row. I am genuinely feeling like shit.

Yes I work part time but I also work gruelling 10 hour shifts where my husband sits behind a desk. I painted as he asked on Wednesday and that's when I started feeling extremely tired and dizzy. He hasn't asked how I'm feeling today. Instead he started shouting about how he does enough. He does the school runs and food shopping, he also takes our son swimming on a Friday as I can't drive due to my health. If I am pregnant, it will be ingredibly high risk and I don't know if I will get the support from my husband that I will need. Maybe I am still reeling from what he said last week because it was rude af!

The end of our marriage?

Today I messaged my husband my feelings emotional abandonment by him for many years. He never makes any effort to check in on me when events are happening in life and on top of that he makes zero effort to make me feel appreciated for key dates like my birthday anniversary Valentine’s Day etc. I’ve told him I’m just done settling for the minimum from him and I’ve been around long enough to give him a leg up on all the things he wants to do in life. I poured in a lot because face to face I just cry and he hugs me and I just can’t put my real words across in true form. Anyway after I said basically my desire to be married to him is gone and that I realise he’s incapable of loving me truly his response was that everything I said was correct as in he accepts his faults. He’s made no follow ups or what this means for us. I don’t want to argue or put him under interrogation. What do I do? We have done couples therapy. It didn’t work take effect.