Did hubby stay with you at the hospital?

Just like the title says I'm just wondering if your husband's stayed at the hospital with you through birth and recovery. I'm going for my scheduled c-section and I've been talking to him about packing a bag which of course he waits last minute to do, but he also made a comment saying I just want him up my ass. I told him if that's the way he feels then don't stay because what kind of shit is that? Where else are you going to go while I'm having your baby, and going through major surgery and recovery? He actually tried to say it's my insecurities talking. Not at all. My main concern is him going to get a drink and downing it while we are in the hospital. I shouldn't have to be worried about anything, or anyone else. This shit is unbelievable to even be dealing with on a day like today.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Is this yall first child? I mean this in the nicest way possible, please don’t do this again. In what world would a parent not be present for the labor and delivery of their child?! Like huh?

He should absolutely be expecting to stay by your side the whole time!! Wait until he sees what you have to go through and if he has even an ounce of compassion he’ll see!

Yeah my husband never left my side, not even to get food after the baby was born he didn’t want to be away from us!

My husband didn't but I didn't have a c section and my MIL could onlu get that Tuesday (I was induced) and Wednesday off so he couldn't spend the night again Weds night. And with my first he couldn't because we had a dog and our dog sitter canceled last minute

I had two C-sections and my husband never left my side. From pre op to walking out together with the pram, he was like my shadow. 2 nights each baby, only left to go get some coffee for us or down to the shop in the lobby for snacks.

If he’s more concerned about drinking than being present for the birth of his baby and supporting his wife through surgery, he’s got a deep deep issue there.

My husband would never have even dreamed of leaving us at the hospital when our baby was born. Your husband should WANT to be there just as much as you want and need him there. The fact that he’s telling you that you ‘just want him up your ass’ or that you’re being insecure is honestly disgusting and infuriating.

It’s bad enough that he’s acting like being there for you and your baby is some kind of burden, but to turn around and make you feel like you’re the problem for wanting your husband beside you during such a huge vulnerable moment is completely unfair. Being there to support you isn’t something you should have to beg for or feel guilty about, it should be something he genuinely wants to do. You deserve to feel supported reassured and cared for, not made to feel insecure for expecting your husband to show up for you.

The only time my husband left was to get himself food for lunch while my mom was with me.

I tried to get him to leave to go get us a pizza at 7pm and be absolutely refused. Luckily my dad was visiting and went and got us a pizza.

Please reconsider your future with this person.

And on top of it (I had a c section) and was resting as much as possible when not nursing, so my husband had to be there to advocate for certain things and care for our daughter. You couldn’t have paid him to leave our sides, he would have made someone feel about an inch tall for even suggesting it.

His comment 😬 yikes. My husband did leave after our second. He stayed for the 2hr check-in before my scheduled csection then for a few hours after, but that was so he could then be home with our 1yro who had not ever been away from me overnight. It worked out great, the nurses really helped me with everything and maybe even more because I was solo. However, it was a mutual agreement. If my husband had said what yours did, he would have been chopped liver ✂️

My husband stayed. The only way I could think of him not staying is if we had other kids at home and no one to watch them

I was in hospital 5 days and for 4 of those nights my husband stayed with me. He only left for one night because we had a flood and he went home to clear it up and get it mended. Understandably, he didn't want us to come home to that! Your comment about him going for a drink is concerning. Does this mean alcohol? I really wouldn't recommend it as I needed an awful lot of help after my c section.

in our community

What should I do?

Are you comfortable with your partner taking your toddler out without you, a few hours from home?

My partner has been begging to take our LO to see his family 2 hours away from home without me for around a year now, but because they've never spent the whole day together without me I don't feel at ease about it. My son is abit shy until he warms up to people and my partner and his family are just very loud and energetic all the time. His family also don't really have boundaries with children and I don't feel my son will be comfortable there.

My partner also has never had to take initiative with our son's routine and our son sometimes doesn't eat very well in certain people's company. So overall I just don't feel comfortable about it.

Whenever we talk about this he makes it seem like I'm the bad guy for not trusting him to be comfortable/confident with putting our son's needs first, and doesn't seem to understand where I'm coming from. He says he understands, but then still begs for it to happen but for over the past year hasn't made the effort to be solo with our son. He's also had to work alot mon-sunday for the majority of our son's life so some things just don't come naturally to him (like understanding our son's communication), but then it's up to him to really make up for that.

They have a really loving bond and play together alot, but parenting isn't just about play of course🤣

What should I do? Allow him to take him to his parents or stand my ground until things change and I feel comfortable?

Nursery prep

Is anyone else not bothered by a "nursery"?

I'm 34 weeks and I haven't been bothered about getting the nursery ready for bub.
I don't see the point personally.

I see all these videos of people "nesting" and getting the nursery ready etc but .... Why? The baby can't sleep in their own room until atleast 6 months old. Who would want to walk upstairs just to change and feed baby in a certain room...

Personally I won't be preparing the baby's room until like a week before he needs to go into it 😅

Am I the only one? Maybe it's because it's my 4th baby but i didn't do it for my others either.

Weaning help!

We’ve been weaning for about a month now and she’s currently having two meals a day. I’m often out and about during lunch time so tend not to do it then. I have no idea how quickly I should be upping the meals (and snacks). What are other people’s experiences?

iPad

Hey mamas im thinking of getting myself an iPad because i post on social media often however my daughter is nearly 3 and has never had a tablet of that nature. However - I have a baby on the way and am considering maybe letting my toddler use it ever now and again just if things feel too overstimulating for me. But only as a treat. Is this the worst mistake I could possibly make or shall I keep it hidden from her?