Need honest answers - it's long
I'll try to make it all simple.
I have 3 (adult) brothers who have learning difficulties. Limited friends, live alone.
My dad recently got remarried.
1 of my brothers really dislikes my dad's partner - too much has happened to write here, but basically he sees her as controlling and a bully.
Organising Christmas last year was a nightmare as my dad's partner refused to be in the same room as my brother. Said she never wanted to see him again.
The rest of the family thought this was a complete overreaction (given my brother has never said/done anything nasty/malicious.) They were talking about a Christmas meal, but excluding my brother. So we said NO, we are not leaving him alone on christmas day and the rest of the family wanted him there. We basically said; Christmas is at ours, but we are not having anyone excluded, so you either come together or not at all.
Probably not the best way to handle it but I was so pissed off.
My dad and his partner booked a cottage away for 2 weeks, to see her daughter who lives 3 hrs away by car. So choosing not to spend any of Christmas with us at all.
So my brothers came down to ours for Christmas (because my daf and his partner weren't even trying to resolve the issue)- it was lovely.
I alternate Christmas day with my partner- one year with my family, the next with his etc. So this year it's his turn.
Usually my dad would spend Christmas day with my brothers. But he has told me they have booked the cottage again and seeing her daughter again.
This means my brothers will be alone on Christmas day.
They don't drive and they don't live very near each other. They don't have jobs and are some of the kindest people I've ever met.
They don't deserve to be excluded. They don't cook either.
Do you think what my dad and his partner have done sounds fair?
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Unfortunately families suck. Can’t they come to your husband’s family with you for Christmas?
From your dad and his partners POV, I can see why they wouldn't want to spend Christmas with your brothers/ somewhere they don't feel comfortable and welcome
She can go to her daughters and he can be with his sons 🤷♀️
If they don't have jobs and live alone, they're probably quite used to being alone and therefore Christmas day prob won't be as bad as you think. Could you do a video call in the morning as you open presents?
You could always just have Christmas on boxing day with them, make it a new tradition.
I’d c if maybe you could host ur in laws and ur brothers . My mil always invites my brother over too and all her sons friends with family issues to just come on over. My brother is a loner he enjoys being alone and has a very strict schedule he follows bc he needs the routine but on holidays he hates being alone and always wants to c family that day
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