Christmas season
My first baby is due in mid November and may well be late.
My partner’s family friends have invited us to a pub for lunch on Sunday 6th Dec (baby may be 3-4 weeks old). My partner has provisionally said yes and that we would bring the baby but I am feeling increasingly uneasy about it. Concerns are around me and partner and how tried we will be, how long the pub visit is expected to be & navigating baby feeds and sleep, and also strangers in the pub being infectious (seasonal cold and flu).
Honestly, I know it’s Christmas but I feel like I don’t actually want to go into other people’s houses or restaurants pubs at all until the baby is at least 6 weeks old. Also, I’m being judgemental but there are some locals in the pub who vaguely know me and partner and would likely come up to see the baby if we bring the pram. Frankly, these people are strangers who spend most of their time smoking and drinking in a pub and I don’t want them anywhere near my newborn in any other setting.
Am I being unreasonable, unhinged and hormonal?
I have told my partner that he could go on his own or that we could propose alternatives like those select people coming to our house specifically to see the baby and then could go out to eat/drink if they want.
Partner increasingly keeps saying that I am just letting my anxiety get to me and that the baby is safe etc. But I do think that he is minimising a lot of my concerns and also has unrealistic expectations of just how hard the newborn period will be on us.
Sorry for the vent!!
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I don't think you're being unreasonable.
We've committed to hosting Christmas day at our house which I'm fine with because it'll just be family, we'll have everything we need there and can just sort feeding etc around everything else.
But I've refused to commit to any other plans until we know what's what, and especially plans that involve travel.
Not unreasonable at all. You could always go if you are feeling up to it but I agree I am concerned about xmas and cold/ sickness season. We are due the same time so are making minimal xmas plans with just our families. And anyone who is sick we will keep the baby away from.
You no not unreasonable at all, risk of infections + second hand smoke to newborns as you say with people in and out smoking drinking, if you really wanted to go you could baby wear so that way people can’t touch the baby but your partner should be understanding for wanting to sit it out! X
100% not unreasonable at all . I’m only wanting to take baby out walks or to museums ect places to keep me busy post partum that’s safe for her too and have visitors to our house once we settle ( family can come asap if they wish aslong as feeling well) I think the last place I’d want to go to is a pub with people possibly coming up to us . We have a date night planned for December just us while baby is at my mums house for afew hours and then we will be staying at my mums ( I’ll be having afew drinks and want a sober adult to be present )
Not unreasonable at all. But I would probably go, have baby in a carrier/sling for the majority of the time. Not let other people hold whilst out and about. And leave pretty sharpish with the excuse of you've got a newborn!
Agree with everyone else - not unreasonable, I had my first on the 21/11 and we were not socialising 🤣 I did have a c-section though. I guess you could just see how you feel xx
Definitely not unreasonable, quite within your rights to not want to go and can understand why! We work in hospitality and totally get what you mean about regulars 🫣
Put the baby in the sling instead and it’ll be fine.
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Going out
I feel like a horrible mom, because I know I should take my 20 month old girl out almost everyday but I don’t feel like it at all. Firstly I work night shifts ( 4 nights in a week, some 3 nights back to back, 1 day off and the last night).
when I come back home i only get 2 hours sleep and I have to look after her because she hasn’t started nursery, make food and so on. My partner is just annoying and doesn’t help even when he’s currently not working right now. I still have to do everything for her.. and then I’m so tired and don’t feel like going out for a walk or any play gym.
I don’t know but I feel like I’m doing a bad job and not being a good mom at all.
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Would appreciate some opinions on this nursery situation.
Was I rude ? Or was the nursery staff member rude?
My 3-year-old came home from nursery on Friday with a red bump behind her ear. When I asked what happened, she told me that another boy hit her with a toy car and also hit her on her back.
I messaged the nursery and said:
“Also just wanted to say that when my daughter came home from nursery on Friday, I noticed she had a bump behind her ear and was red. I asked her what happened, and she said another boy hit her with a toy car and also hit her on her back.
I appreciate that children can have accidents in nursery and it’s impossible to eliminate everything, but I was concerned as it was on her head.
I would also appreciate if you could supervise their interactions a little more closely, particularly given the previous concerns we discussed about my daughter feeling uncomfortable around the same child and the child being rough with her before the summer break.
I know children will have disagreements and accidents, but would like to make sure my daughter feels safe and that any incidents are picked up and communicated to me.”
The teacher replied:
“OK mum I was with her for most of the day on Friday and not once did her and the other child be near each other.”
How would you interpret the nursery’s response? Do you think the teacher is simply saying that she personally didn’t witness them together, or does it come across as dismissing what my daughter told me? And was my original message reasonable, or did I come across as accusing the nursery/child?
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Is he joking
So I’ve come downstairs from settling our LO to sleep and start talking about putting in an extra nap during the day and moving bedtime later as LO has been foul the last 3 nights…… please tell me why my other half starts talking about his grass and I let him know I’m not interested and I don’t care so he asks why and I said I have more pressing stuff going on that takes priority over admiring the grass and the audacity of this man he comes out with “it’s not that hard” and I say what and he says “being a mother”………. I nearly hit the roof, not once in 15 weeks has this man settled our LO at night time and he’s done 2 just 2 midnight feeds and woke me during them…… I would love for this man to try “being the mother” and then tell me it’s not hard…… I genuinely feel like a single parent with a partner 😮💨
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How much does partner help you
If you’re a stay at home mom or wife whose kids are in school all day what do you expect husband/partner to
help with if anything? My husband works a lot with his job so I don’t want to be ungrateful but I am genuinely curious to see how spouses break up responsibilities in the household. All my kids are currently in school. I do have a job at night but it’s part time and very easy so it’s not burning me out and I do get to sleep as it’s home health but during the day I mostly have time to myself.
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Child minder or Nursery
I am looking to start work and I’m not sure which childcare option would work best for my one year old. very clingy at the moment and find it difficult to socialise, so I’m wondering whether a nursery or childminder might be better. I would really appreciate hearing from other parents who have been in a similar situation. What worked best for your little one, and how did they settle?
Any advice or recommendations would be really appreciated!
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Christmas season
My first baby is due in mid November and may well be late.
My partner’s family friends have invited us to a pub for lunch on Sunday 6th Dec (baby may be 3-4 weeks old). My partner has provisionally said yes and that we would bring the baby but I am feeling increasingly uneasy about it. Concerns are around me and partner and how tried we will be, how long the pub visit is expected to be & navigating baby feeds and sleep, and also strangers in the pub being infectious (seasonal cold and flu).
Honestly, I know it’s Christmas but I feel like I don’t actually want to go into other people’s houses or restaurants pubs at all until the baby is at least 6 weeks old. Also, I’m being judgemental but there are some locals in the pub who vaguely know me and partner and would likely come up to see the baby if we bring the pram. Frankly, these people are strangers who spend most of their time smoking and drinking in a pub and I don’t want them anywhere near my newborn in any other setting.
Am I being unreasonable, unhinged and hormonal?
I have told my partner that he could go on his own or that we could propose alternatives like those select people coming to our house specifically to see the baby and then could go out to eat/drink if they want.
Partner increasingly keeps saying that I am just letting my anxiety get to me and that the baby is safe etc. But I do think that he is minimising a lot of my concerns and also has unrealistic expectations of just how hard the newborn period will be on us.
Sorry for the vent!!
1
8
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