Friend being weird or not?
Long story short we used to talk a lot but she doesn’t work and I started working full time so couldn’t keep up with all her messages (she sends essay long texts all the time, multiple 10+ minute long voicenotes, sometimes 50+ pics and vids). My replies slowed down and would reply only when I had time on the weekends or some nights but I couldn’t respond everyday sometimes just once a week.
All of this was communicated multiple times and I apologised multiple times and explained I simply don’t have that much time. Before I started working we would meet up occasionally for a coffee or quick lunch a few times, but ever since my replies slowed she avoided and never acknowledged when I offered to meet.
She then eventually told me she can’t ’get back to the place we used to be’ because she’s hurt and that’s why she can’t meet with me but maybe in the future. Now she’s constantly messaging me HUGE long messages every single day, like essays, always talking about herself and her life and everything she’s up to etc, long voicenotes and pictures etc. I saw her one day and she crossed to the other side of the road when she saw me which I thought was weird. I mentioned again in a voice note about catching up in person one day but she didn’t acknowledge that part.
So this time I deliberate decided to write it plain and simple in a short text that she can’t ignore. I just wanted to know because if she doesn’t ever feel like she can get back to a place to see me (we live close) then why is she constantly texting me all the time and it’s 90% about herself and I’m getting annoyed now.
I cut her response in photo below because it was a long text she sent about herself and her life etc but you can see she only responded shortly before I my question about meeting up and it was vague and obvious she is trying to avoid it. She didn’t say sure, what day? When?
Just to add, there’s nothing going on in her life causing this, she has more free time now than before, she has told me before summer she doesn’t want to meet because she ‘can’t get back to that place with me’, but I don’t understand why she’s going out of her way to message so much
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I think you should ask her straight up what she expects out of your friendship. If she needs adiary thats fine. Using you as one then not acknowledging you in person is odd.
I had a friend like this, we haven’t spoken for around 2 years. Not long after I went back to work after having my first baby I really struggled juggling everything and I replied a couple of days late to some messages she sent being very apologetic and trying to keep the conversation like our usual conversation. She ignored it for a week and sent me a big message with the summary essentially being “I know you have a child now but what about me?”. I apologised again and kept getting the same kind of messages back, I know this sounds harsh but they were so draining it was really my nail in the coffin after a year of an already pretty rocky friendship at that point.
I want to be there for my friends, and my family, and my job. I’m sure you do too, but sometimes somethings got to give, and I don’t think everyone understands that.
Our relationship pretty much dwindled out after that and she removed me from everything. At the end of the day you are her friend, not her therapist.
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Friend being weird or not?
Long story short we used to talk a lot but she doesn’t work and I started working full time so couldn’t keep up with all her messages (she sends essay long texts all the time, multiple 10+ minute long voicenotes, sometimes 50+ pics and vids). My replies slowed down and would reply only when I had time on the weekends or some nights but I couldn’t respond everyday sometimes just once a week.
All of this was communicated multiple times and I apologised multiple times and explained I simply don’t have that much time. Before I started working we would meet up occasionally for a coffee or quick lunch a few times, but ever since my replies slowed she avoided and never acknowledged when I offered to meet.
She then eventually told me she can’t ’get back to the place we used to be’ because she’s hurt and that’s why she can’t meet with me but maybe in the future. Now she’s constantly messaging me HUGE long messages every single day, like essays, always talking about herself and her life and everything she’s up to etc, long voicenotes and pictures etc. I saw her one day and she crossed to the other side of the road when she saw me which I thought was weird. I mentioned again in a voice note about catching up in person one day but she didn’t acknowledge that part.
So this time I deliberate decided to write it plain and simple in a short text that she can’t ignore. I just wanted to know because if she doesn’t ever feel like she can get back to a place to see me (we live close) then why is she constantly texting me all the time and it’s 90% about herself and I’m getting annoyed now.
I cut her response in photo below because it was a long text she sent about herself and her life etc but you can see she only responded shortly before I my question about meeting up and it was vague and obvious she is trying to avoid it. She didn’t say sure, what day? When?
Just to add, there’s nothing going on in her life causing this, she has more free time now than before, she has told me before summer she doesn’t want to meet because she ‘can’t get back to that place with me’, but I don’t understand why she’s going out of her way to message so much
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