A week in with little to no sleep 🫩

My baby is a week old and I still cannot figure out how to get him to sleep well at night. So far he only sleeps if he’s on someone, my mom takes him after a few hours and is able to recline back with him on her chest and he falls asleep just fine. My bed won’t allow for that much space to safely recline, so I lay him next to me and he gets very restless and wakes himself up. He refuses to sleep in the bassinet. I’m running on 2-4 hrs per 24 hrs, and only because my mom takes him. I’ve tried rocking him to sleep after a feed, but it takes 20 mins for him to lay down soundly, then by the time I start to fall asleep he gets up again. I feel like an absolute zombie, I’ve already dropped dishes and cried multiple times because I’m so sleep deprived. I need some advice.

in our community

Vulnerable post: Is there such thing as the 4m+ trenches? I feel like I’m trying to stay afloat..

Next week I enter 4 months postpartum & my baby girl will hit, yet another milestone. As someone who struggles with anxiety, OCD and depression I somehow have done pretty well postpartum so far. I’ve always heard about the four month mark and as each week passed and I came closer to the four month mark, I still didn’t quite understand what these women were talking about as I didn’t genuinely feel like I was entering a rut. Well, next week is the week and this week has ROCKED me.

Maybe it’s because my husband left on Wednesday for 16 days, maybe it’s because I have officially hit a month of very little to no sleep, maybe it’s because I’m feeling extremely alone and isolated, who actually knows. Today as I was feeling joy of the memory of last September 27th when I found out I was pregnant, I simultaneously felt sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and failure. Failure that I am not doing a good job. Failure that I cannot make my baby happy or stay calm or get her to sleep. Failure that I’m not doing enough. I feel guilt when I put her down to try and get two seconds to myself or two seconds to eat food or two seconds to go to the bathroom for two seconds to try and manage an over flowing never-ending pile of laundry that’s accumulated from the last three months I spent away from home. I know I need to have grace for myself; every mother is told that. “Find grace for yourselves during a hard time”, but when my mind is racing and the baby is crying, grace is the last thing on my mind. Failure, guilt, sadness, anxiety, isolation, loneliness. Those are the words that come to mind.

Everyone talks about the newborn trenches. Personally, that wasn’t the “trenches” for me. Was it for you? People offer to help (maybe), phone calls, texts, gifts, deliveries, food all comes pouring in, babies sleep the most they will ever sleep besides to eat (yes that is more often), but it’s so different.

There is no more phone calls, no more texts, very to little support, no surprise check-ins or food drop offs, no offering to help watch the baby so you can try & feel human again, nothing. Most women go back to work, the partner has most likely been back at work, but for your baby everything has changed. They are more aware, more excited about the world, more excitement, are growing rapidly and hitting milestones quicker than you can blink. If anything, they need YOU, MOM more than ever. For mother’s these milestones come and go far too quickly, well before mom is even able to catch her breath or realize just how much time has passed, because she’s been trying to play catch-up with life and her mind since the very beginning.

So when all else fails, what are we doing mamas? Everyone tells you it takes a village to raise a baby, but no one’s willing to help build the village. So does anyone want to help build my village? This Mama could use a friend or two🥲🤍

He’s here & I’m struggling

Hey ladies! The little man is here but I’m struggling. Day 2 and he won’t sleep unless I hold him all night, we had an emergency c-section and I’m a single mom struggling tough. He is getting donor milk in the hospital along with matching because I’m not producing yet.

Does anyone have suggestions for things to help me recover, bottles/nipples for the formula feeds at home that won’t mess up me breast feeding until I’m producing more, and ways to get him to sleep not in my arms… it’s so hard to move a lot right now so if he doesn’t go down on his own I can’t keep getting up and down but that means I end up sitting sitting straight up and I’m not getting much sleep.

I’m sure once I’m producing milk and more healed it’ll be easier but right now it’s rough!! I gave in and introduced a pacifier too which I’m worried is why he’s not latching as much on the right side,

Pic of little man to draw more suggestions

Formula

Hey, I’m stuck on what formula to get, does anyone know which is the best as there’s so many different ones!🙈🤣

I think gone a bit overboard with the newborn/up to 1month clothes 😭

I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to do that especially as a second time mum. I completely missed judged how much newborn & up to 1 months sleepsuits and vest I had from my first so I brought a few more and I’ve washed everything and was putting everything away and omg the draw is complete fully 😩😭 I hope baby can use them for at least the first 2-3 months like my first… 😩

Struggling to space out feeding

My 14 weeks old eats every 1h30 or 2h otherwise he starts screaming. Same at night. I’m really struggling to space it out. He did some 6h stretches a few times at night so he’s capable but struggling here.

Newborn constipation

My baby is 11 days old, she’s formula fed… I took my baby to doctors on Friday for not pooing, the doctor said keep an eye and be worried if she goes longer than 7 days, she had a poo early hours this morning but it was very pebble like rabbit droppings, she is still feeding, having wet nappies, alert ect… is there anything I can do to help her? I’m going to get another appointment tomorrow at GP but don’t know if I should be overly concerned, has anyone else had this? Her stomach often feels hard but I am under the understanding that’s the common sign of constipation