Found locked chats in husbands phone. Ready to end the marriage.
Help !I genuinely don’t know what to think about this situation.
I’ve been with my husband for around 8 years and we’ve been married for 3 years. I really care about our marriage and our relationship, which is why this has affected me so much.
Recently, I accidentally came across some hidden chats on his phone. I clicked on one of them and saw that a woman had sent him a video of a sexual nature.
When I confronted him about it, he became very protective of the chats and wouldn’t let me see what else had been said. I asked him to show me because I needed some context and, honestly, I needed reassurance and closure. Instead, he kept saying there was nothing wrong, that there was nothing for me to find, and that I just needed to believe him.
Eventually, he deleted the chats.
His explanation is that he panicked because there were other personal things in the chats that he didn’t want me to see. He says there was nothing inappropriate going on and that I’m interpreting his reaction as something more than it was.
Since then, he has been begging me to believe him and saying things like he won’t do it again. But that’s actually making me more confused because I keep thinking, what exactly is he saying he won’t do again if, according to him, there was nothing wrong in the first place?
I feel like I’ve been lied to, and I’m struggling to trust what he’s telling me. At the same time, I know I don’t have the full context because the chats were deleted.
I’m not necessarily asking people to tell me that he’s cheating. I genuinely want outside perspectives. Am I being unreasonable for feeling suspicious and finding his explanation difficult to believe? Or is it possible that there is a completely innocent explanation for his behaviour?
If you were in my position, would you be able to take his word for it, or would the secrecy, his reaction and the deletion of the chats make you question things too?
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So what's his explanation for the sexual video? Some random woman sent it, he kept it and hid it? And there are a bunch of other hidden chats, with who? What personal things could he want to keep hidden from you, his wife, and who was he talking about them with? I think you know you're being lied to. If there is an innocent explanation, why can't he provide it and why did he delete the chats?
He admitted that the sexual chats were from a person he met a long time ago away before me and that he thinks that they have only fans or something so they’re always promoting their stuff. That he never responded to them. He did also admit that he had responded to someone saying how are you but nothing more than that but that he realises that that was wrong that he shouldn’t have done that.
he did disclose a personal family thing that he said was on there that he wasn’t comfortable with me seeing . He did delete the chats when I persuaded him to show me what was on there he said he was adamant and said no that it’s not good for our relationship but there’s nothing there for me to see he wouldn’t show me.
If the video was unsolicited then he should have deleted and blocked. He has multiple secret chats. Why, how? People aren't messaging him out of nowhere...
He is gaslighting you. He lied to you, deleted chats. Thats truth. Im sorry. If it makes more ease mind, remember many women goes through same. Its sad. I would never trust him again if i would be you. Liar is liar. When he is ready to talk truth this time believe. If he cant now talk truth he will lie again.
I think you know the truth deep within yourself and you'd like someone else to validate you and take weight of the big decision you have to make. You know what it means if there are locked chats of a sexual nature on his phone. You know what it means when your husband actively hides sexual conversations with other women from you. You know deep down why you would do the same if your husband were to find the same on your phone.You know how you feel. You know where your limit of unreasonable is.
I think it would be easier for you if someone else were to decide for you what you need to do. Unfortunately that's not how it works!
I'm really sorry for you, and I just hope that you'll find the courage within yourself to do what you feel down you need to do. I pray that you'll find the right community around you to support you in this. Sending hugs 🤗
Your husband is a liar and a cheat. He deleted those chats because he knew once you saw them, you would end the marriage. That’s the truth right there.
He knew if he could do damage limitation by deleting them and gaslighting you with some cock and bull story, that because you’re a woman and it’s in your nature to forgive men and feel sorry for them, that it would buy him enough time to sweeten you up and put his mask back on again.
The only thing he panicked about is you seeing what a disgusting depraved demon he is.
There’s no innocent explanation about his behaviour. You’d be a fool to believe him. I hope you find the strength to leave him because these men never change. You’ll just be on here again in another 6m or even worse, 6 years time, wasted even more of your life and he’s been doing the same shit again.
Girl don’t let him gaslight you! You probably know deep down inside! Cos I’m telling you once they feel like they got away with it, they’ll DO IT AGAIN!
Well if they were bad enough to delete them instead of showing you them, then you know they were bad enough to destroy the relationship.
Wait so let get this straight you guys have been together for 8 years but isn’t comfort sharing personal stuff with you. But he’s willing to do that with someone else you probably haven’t heard of before, so I’m assuming he isn’t close with them? Cause let’s be real we all know the close friends of our partners. And then he deleted the chat? And there’s a sexual video too?
Let’s be real, if a close friend of yours told you exactly what you are telling us now, you know exactly what to say. So please take the advice you’d have given your friend. I’m sorry it’s a hard pill to swallow but unfortunately you have to take a hard decision for yourself
Girl a faithful man who’s done nothing wrong would not have this reaction and then to delete the evidence he’s trying to manipulate your reality and that’s probably worse than the hidden chats imo.
Gaslighting 101, I’m actually flabbergasted by this and I’m not easily flabbergasted
Whether you forgive him or not is up to you, but please don’t let him gaslight you like this. I’ve never heard of an OF model promoting her work by sending free content to random people’s phones, exs or not. Then he saves them??? Not deletes, but puts them in a hidden folder? There’s multiple chats in this folder!! So multiple women just randomly sending men sexy content? He’s just the lucky chosen one? He hides them and then deletes them when you find them. If it was as innocent as he says wouldn’t he want you to see? Wouldn’t he want to put your mind at ease…clearly he knows it looks bad and he would want to prove that it’s not.
He’s lying obviously and you know that.
You are not being unreasonable, his reaction doesn't align with an innocent mans logic. If there was truly nothing to hide aside from some personal messages, he would come clean for the sake of peace, even if its embarrassing. Whatever was it those texts, to him, was worse than letting you live in uncertainty about his possible infidelity. All signs point to more of what you saw before with that video.
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Found locked chats in husbands phone. Ready to end the marriage.
Help !I genuinely don’t know what to think about this situation.
I’ve been with my husband for around 8 years and we’ve been married for 3 years. I really care about our marriage and our relationship, which is why this has affected me so much.
Recently, I accidentally came across some hidden chats on his phone. I clicked on one of them and saw that a woman had sent him a video of a sexual nature.
When I confronted him about it, he became very protective of the chats and wouldn’t let me see what else had been said. I asked him to show me because I needed some context and, honestly, I needed reassurance and closure. Instead, he kept saying there was nothing wrong, that there was nothing for me to find, and that I just needed to believe him.
Eventually, he deleted the chats.
His explanation is that he panicked because there were other personal things in the chats that he didn’t want me to see. He says there was nothing inappropriate going on and that I’m interpreting his reaction as something more than it was.
Since then, he has been begging me to believe him and saying things like he won’t do it again. But that’s actually making me more confused because I keep thinking, what exactly is he saying he won’t do again if, according to him, there was nothing wrong in the first place?
I feel like I’ve been lied to, and I’m struggling to trust what he’s telling me. At the same time, I know I don’t have the full context because the chats were deleted.
I’m not necessarily asking people to tell me that he’s cheating. I genuinely want outside perspectives. Am I being unreasonable for feeling suspicious and finding his explanation difficult to believe? Or is it possible that there is a completely innocent explanation for his behaviour?
If you were in my position, would you be able to take his word for it, or would the secrecy, his reaction and the deletion of the chats make you question things too?
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